When God closes a door, he opens a podcast.

Sean and Eliot are back from the future to warn you about what's coming. WoundsPod is shutting up shop as we bring you a brand new venture!

Listen to this and then search for the new podcast! A whole new, brilliant thing to enjoy.

Yes! It's a new show! From us! For you! You're so lucky! You should thank us more! Before we disappear again, for good this time…

"Sean & Eliot Read the Bible". Go get. Subscribe.

We're back from the awards and the sweet smell of victory still lingers in the air... Oh, the places we'll go. The book deals are rolling in and Celebrity Love Island is banging on our door.

But "No!", we yell. "No, dammit! We have work to do!"...

We keep grinding, day and night. To provide you with the highest quality audio  entertainment. 

We are wounded. We are many. We are the Best Internet.

We lost. It was a massacre.

We're ready to rumble and we've prepared our loser speech for the 2018 Chortle Awards. This episode is all about the build-up and hype for the biggest award ceremony of the season. The glitz! The glamour! The garlic! 

Also Sean is going on an inexplicable holiday and Eliot has been to Toys R Us for the last time.

Just when we thought we were out, they pull us back in. In a twist nobody saw coming Heal Your Wounds has been nominated for a Chortle Award and now has a chance to be named the greatest thing on the internet. In this special return episode Sean and Eliot try and figure out how the fuck this has happened, who the fuck the other nominees are and how the fuck we'll trick people to vote for us.

Go to chortle.co.uk to vote for Heal Your Wounds in 'Best Internet' category. Polls close on February 14th so HURRY.

Also listen to the other nominees because they are so so so much better than us.

Happy new year from all at Heal Your Wounds towers! Here is a little episode with no guests to explain where we've been and why we might not be doing an episode for awhile. Very sorry to leave you all hanging BUT this one still contains Sean and Eliot talking about the fools who advertise with us and we make up a series of Musicals on the spot. View it as a parting gift.

Ho ho ho! On this fine Noel gather round the fire and listen as the HYW gang have a true Christmas party. Previous guests Fern Brady (magical Christmas in Ireland), Harriet Kemsley (Weird incestuous Christmas) and Sunil Patel (Presents in the boot of the car) are here to talk about what makes this time of year so bloody expensive. Also Sean spends much of this episode contemplating whether to spoil the new Star Wars for Eliot.

Happy Christmas. 

It's Eliot's birthday! Sean is ill but valiantly carries on and hosts this episode and luckily Bobby Mair and Kate Lucas are able to make the most of some frankly dogshit hosting. We talk namesakes, the dating scene and Eliot gets a song and a present. This one if a fever dream.

Go see Bobby Mair on tour in 2018

The Ballad Of Little Pip And Tommy Tonge. After a couple disciplined episodes things start to unravel here as comedians Phil Ellis and Will Duggan (stars of Edinburgh mega-hit Funz And Gamez) guest on the show. A winding chat takes in buses, brothels, Will's genuine phone number and a series of incredible tales of Phil being 'relieved on.' Also Sean and Eliot talk about The Santa Clause 3 for probably too long.

Sean's performing his acclaimed 2017 Edinburgh Fringe show in London on 12th December. Come! http://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/events/sean-mcloughlin-cant-ignore-forever/

Also details of Sean's Xmas gig in Brighton on 23rd December are here http://carolineofbrunswick.co.uk/event/spunktacular/?instance_id=9503

"Why would you put the best thing in the world in a toilet?" Sean and Eliot may be struggling with the reveal of their relationship from the last episode but luckily comedian/hard worker Sunil Patel returns to the podcast to have a tremendous chat. The lads talk about their schooldays, the perils of giving advice in London and assess modern cinema. Also Eliot is excited for Christmas already. Sean is drunk as he writes this description.

Watch Sunil on the brilliant new series of Borderline on Channel 5.

Keep sending potential new artwork etc. to [email protected]

It's a veritable SPOOKTACULAR this week as Sean desperately tries to make his guests respect his desire to do a halloween episode. Things do get bone-chilling as guest Sarah Keyworth presents a terrifying tale of dripping and licking and Stephen Bailey returns to tell us a story of love and demon slaying. Also, Eliot has written a piece that genuinely freaks the living shit out of Sean and a shocking twist is revealed that could change the show forever!

Why not come see Sean do a great solo show in Brighton on November 15th: http://www.thebrunswick.net/2017/05/sean-mcloughlin-support-wednesday-15th-nov-2017/

Send your crap podcast artwork to [email protected]