August 02, 2021

Healing From Sexual Trauma | ACW135

46 minutes

How can sex be unitive when it's used so often as a weapon? Is there and real freedom from sexual sin outside of death? How can marriage be a path to holiness?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Patron Question:

After six years in a sexually and emotionally abusive relationship, full of porn, manipulation, and rape, I struggle with the concept of sex as a unitive act. The procreative part makes sense, but I cannot see sex as unitive. I am getting married (not to the abuser) soon and I am terrified I will disappoint him by failing to give him a meaningful experience, but I just don't see how it can be meaningful. My question is, why and how is sex unitive? How can couples call it "the most profound form of communication"? I see praying together as a far higher form of communication, intimacy, and bonding than anything sexual. How does one make an act that is so easily used as a weapon a means of love, intimacy, and unity?

Question 2:

Hi Christopher and Wendy, I had a weird thought: I think that because I have masturbated in the past I cannot say for sure that I have stopped it forever. I'm trying to control myself and with God's grace and mercy I'm sort of controlling myself but still I think that the only way to come out of it is to die. Am I wrong?

Qestion 3:

Hi Christopher and Wendy, gosh I can’t begin to thank you for how you have impacted my spiritual journey. What a blessing! Here is my question: Sometimes when I think about marriage, it seems hard that it unlocks some kind of mystery or provides a language to speak of how I am destined to be in complete union with God. It seems that a marriage would shift my focus from this ultimate goal to providing what seems like unnecessary attention to my spouse. I understand that loving others is a form of loving God but I worry that if I am called to marriage, it would be more of a distraction from the ultimate goal rather than being an aid in getting there. How have you worked through this question?

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Resources mentioned this week:

[Hope's Garden](www.hopesgarden.com)

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

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