Today’s podcast focuses on a question submitted by someone living the monastic life. It is common and normal when past pain from traumatic or profoundly painful experiences has an effect on our prayer life. We might feel that we have lost something, or that somehow spiritually we are going in the wrong direction, regressing, or even failing. It is very important to reframe these experiences, and to realize this is all part of the path forward, and that we are not experiencing an abandonment of grace. It is important to be merciful with ourselves and to allow there to be changes to our prayer life or with it being harder to pray silently, as we are navigating the healing work. The reality is, that when we come out on the other side of the healing work, there will be more room for God’s grace and more potential for our prayer life. Indeed, the healing work is part of the ladder of divine ascent.

Finding out that our spouse has been unfaithful is devastating. However, many couples come through on the other side even stronger than they were before. Today’s episode focuses on a question that was submitted by an individual who has done all the work, and come through on the other side, but yet still has frustrating moments where they are hurled back into the past. Using the trauma treatment model, victims of infidelity can often find the peace and healing that has been elusive.

Today’s podcast discusses something that most of humanity is ignoring. It is the subtle effects of the pandemic. It is precisely during the quiet aftermath of an intense experience that we tend to feel the effects. Telling ourselves a story and believing we can just sweep it under the proverbial rug, is not going to help us navigate the quiet aftermath; nor to regain much of what we had before those very trying years.

The healing work is part of our spiritual life and very much an ascetical activity. Today’s podcast offers a prayer that any individual can use in their own healing work as well as a practical activity. Both the prayer and the activity will help increase the synergy between us and God in healing the unresolved.

"Lord, please heal my soul and help me to do my part in the healing work. Give me your Grace and the Holy Spirit, and fill that which I am lacking in. Please give me insights and self-awareness that lead to healing. Lord, cast out of me any spirit of fear and give me a spirit of faith, hope, and love. Heal also my disposition of heart. Please heal my perceptions of the past, present, and the future. And please heal my perceptions of myself and others. Help me not to be afraid and to do the thing I fear. Lord, help me to love and be loved, without fear. Amen."

We all struggle with interactions, the behavior of ourselves and others, events, and life changes. However, all of these things are often worsened when we believe they mean some thing about us that they do not. Some examples of these beliefs are "I wasn't good enough," "I failed," and/or "I am weak or powerless." This particular phenomenon often occurs on an unconscious level and causes much disruption in our emotional, spiritual, and family lives. One could even argue that it is the most disruptive of all beliefs.

Today’s discussion is about over-control. It is a relating and behavior pattern that is almost universally a product of traumatic and painful experiences. It is born from avoiding, at all costs, ever experiencing anything like what we did in the past. However, when we do this, we find no rest, no peace, and miss all of the beautiful things in our lives. It causes us to see threats where there are none. This is exhausting for both us and those around us. Reversing over-control can be difficult and very frustrating, however, there are real and concrete steps that we can take to find our way out.

Many are worried about asserting themselves, setting boundaries, and speaking up for themselves. Such behaviors are perceived by some as being prideful and not what God wants. In this episode the value and need for dignity is discussed and how it must be preserved and protected.

Anxiety is often perceived very negatively. This negative perception of anxiety often aggravates it and makes us feel even more of it. Our Anxiety is simply trying to alert us to the perception of danger. However, in the end, it will listen to us, and is very flexible in the face of new perceptions.

Father Alexander Schmemann often talked and wrote about the benefits of our faith based worldview, which we receive upon baptism. Our faith-based worldview is to help us navigate our life in this world; to help us make sense of experiences, answer life’s questions, and navigate life stages. However, unresolved past experiences have the ability to block our faith-based worldview, as it causes us to respond to the past, rather than the present. In a future episode, we'll dive deeper into what the investigative process looks like to help us discover how we can more fully live out our faith.

Some strained sibling relationships may indeed just be due to difficult personalities or differences in beliefs. However, very often the real cause is hidden hurts and resentments related to the family of origin. These hurts may be related to roles played, differences in perceptions of treatment, and overall lack of closure. When past pain surfaces in sibling relationships it often masks itself by being displaced on trivial issues in the present that result in years of not communicating or a sibling relationship that was never close. Choosing to let them work it out while hoping for the best or lending them a helping hand by venturing back into the family of origin experiences, is a personal decision.