The idea that healthy relationships are boring is tongue-in-cheek, but that is the perception of people whose experience comes from unhealthy relationships. Until my current “boring” relationship, all previous ones were based in drama, tension and struggle. When you see your partner as the problem (as I used to), it gives you something to focus on. “Why didn’t he/she text me back? Did I say something wrong? Does he/she think I don’t care?” This results in those intense ups and downs which can feel exciting… for a short period of time. Looking back at my past relationships, it feels utterly exhausting.

Some of us are aware of this intensity roller coaster and eventually want healthy and simple rather than complicated and tense. We’re just not sure what to replace the drama with. Oh I have an idea, FUN! There actually IS excitement in happy and healthy that you don’t get from dysfunction, it’s just a different kind of excitement. There is a freedom in being completely who you are. There is contentment in working as a team rather than playing tug-of-war. There is joy in being creative together.

When you are ready to step off the roller coaster of drama and struggle, craving consistency and ease instead, you’ll open yourself up to the possibility of a healthy relationship that is anything but boring.