Connor and Phil break down the main event of UFC 258. Two prodigal sons enter; only one will return.

• Henri Hooft has done wonders with both Kamaru Usman and Gilbert Burns--but Team Evil only has room for one sweet boy.
• Alexa Grasso can probably box Maycee Barber's head off--but for how long?
• Kelvin Gastelum (overachiever) and Ian Heinish (underachiever) are poised to have a closely matched (and possibly very boring) battle for middleweight contention
• And more

On this episode of Heavy Hands, Connor and Phil try desperately to wrap their heads around a well-matched main card.

• Will Overeem's new "relax & wrestle" strategy pan out, or is Volkov his ceiling? 
• Frankie Edgar moves down another division, only to face one of the biggest men he's ever fought
• Ferreira vs Dariush--predicting this one is like trying to wrap our heads around insanity itself. We love it

Connor and Phil stand in awe of Dustin Poirier's brilliant, ass-backwards rematch win over Conor McGregor.

• Going backwards and standing on the end of McGregor's reach is supposed to be the worst thing you can do. At least, we thought it was
• Michael Chandler's triumphant UFC debut
• Marina Rodriguez's shocking KO, Arman Tsarukyan's being-good-at-everything

Connor and Phil are joined by the Fight Site's Julian Lung to break down UFC 257.

• Conor McGregor and Dustin Poirier are both different men than they were in 2016--so who got more better, and does it matter?
• Max Holloway also continues to get better, a terrifying prospect for every featherweight in the division not named Alexander Volkanovski
• Michael Chandler is finally making his UFC debut, and the UFC seem determined to make him just another Hector Lombard

Connor and Phil take a look at Max Holloway vs Calvin Kattar and Neil Magny vs Michael Chiesa, a pair of fights which seem at first surprisingly competitive, and then slightly predictable--which is a sure sign that something unexpected is about to happen.

The time has come, at last, for Handies. Connor and Phil liquor up, limber down, and give 2020 the treatment it deserves.

Shitty editing! Incredible disrespect for professional athletes! Phil uses the word "revenant!" 

Connor and Phil have a nice post-holiday chat about some of the silliest things that happened this year in the UFC and the world of MMA. The real Handies are next week, so I guess that makes this... I don't know, what do you get before a Handy? Champagne? A massage?

NOTE: If your audio is messed up, just go ahead and re-download this episode. The source file has been corrected since the original posting. Connor and Phil pause before a Christmas that it seemed would never come to celebrate some impressive, by-the-book wins.

• Of course Jose Aldo does things by the book. HE WROTE THE DAMN BOOK
• Geoff Neal didn't seem prepared to attack Wonderboy's weaknesses--but then, Wonderboy showed him very few
• Michel Pereira also BETRAYED US with a DISGUSTINGLY professional performance
• Is Marlon Moraes the third great champion to be destroyed byt the bantamweight division?
• plus Pretty Tony vs Morono and more!

Killer fights on every side! Connor and Phil break down UFC 256, look ahead to Thompson vs Neal, and FREAK OUT ABOUT KEVIN HOLLAND.

• Brandon Moreno may not be a Bobby Knuckles-level athlete, but he put on a Bobby Knuckles-level effort against the flyweight division's own Yoel Romero
• Kevin Holland is the lord, our God. AlhamduliHolland
• Phil thinks Thompson vs Neal is going to be a staring contest. BOOOOO
• and Connor thinks Aldo vs Chito is going to give him a heart attack
• ...and more!

BUY A SHIRT. Or a mask. Or a... uh, how about a bath mat? That's right, Heavy Hands now has a store on Redbubble, where you can buy all kinds of things printed with our beautifully brutal logo by artist Gian Galang.

As for the episode... Connor and Phil get hyped about the surprisingly stacked UFC 256.

• Deiveson Figueiredo is an athletic terror, but Brandon Moreno is apparently willing to assassinate a baby, so what else might he do?
• Just how far has Tony Ferguson fallen, and how is he doing it so slowly?
• Charles Oliveira has definitely gotten better, but there remains the worrying possibility that, like a mounted police officer, he might curl up into a ball when confronted with someone taller than himself. Phil Mackenzie investigates
• Kevin Holland returns... likely just to lose in classic Smack Man fashion