Hell in a Cellphone

In the summer of 1998, WWF put on a shoot style tough guy contest called the Brawl for All. Nobody asked for it. Nobody benefited from it. Nobody enjoyed it. But we watched it.

Want to get caught up? This episode deals with content from every episode of RAW from June 29, 1998 through August 24, 1998.

Theme song “There Are Traitors in Our Midst” by Disco Vietnam

Art by Alexis Yavne

The Highway to Hell (music rights lapsed) heads to New York City for SummerSlam 1998. Who needs the ability to make new memories as Steve Austin is concussed minutes into his match with the Undertaker. And the drama is even higher as the audience wonders what Kane will do! (nothing) It doesn’t matter if Triple H wins the ladder match for the Intercontinental Title, as the audience realizes that maybe this Rocky guy doesn’t suck. All this, plus a European championship match between up and comers Val Venis and D’Lo Brown, the Insane Clown Posse edited out of history in the Oddities vs. Kaientai, Jeff Jarrett and X-Pac in a hair vs. hair match, Sable and a mystery partner (Edge) take on Jacqueline and Marc Mero, more pseudo sports as Owen Hart meets Ken Shamrock in the Lion’s Den and Mankind getting the ever loving crap beaten out of him by the New Age Outlaws.

Theme song “There Are Traitors in Our Midst” by Disco Vietnam

Art by Alexis Yavne

In our first weekly episode, we dive deep into the rivalry between Val Venis and Kaientai. It’s mother of all cucked husband story lines, with more action, porn puns, racial insensitivity, katanas, deceit, blurred butts, misogyny, and liquids than you can handle.

Want to get caught up? This episode deals with content from the following episodes of RAW from 1998: July 27, August 3, August 10, and August 17.

CW: Discussion of marital rape

Theme song “There Are Traitors in Our Midst” by Disco Vietnam

Art by Alexis Yavne

After seeing the road to WrestleMania develop last night on the Royal Rumble, join us for a look back a this stop on the road (Highway to Hell) to SummerSlam 1998 from Fresno California. Will teaming with the Undertaker work better for Stone Cold Steve Austin than pairing with Shawn Michaels and Dude Love? No, it’ll probably be about the same. We dissent over the execution of a two out of three falls match between the Rock and Triple H. And we talk the battle of the rumpus room as we head to Canada where Owen Hart challenges Ken Shamrock to wrestle in his dad’s basement. All this and Val Venis’ first pay per view match against Jeff Jarrett, D’Lo Brown vs. X-Pac for NOT the European Championship, communication issues between Terry Funk and Bradshaw, Mark Henry and Vader laying a turd of a match, and a “bikini” contest featuring no actual bikinis.

Bonus: We dive deep into one of the most infamous and regrettable moments of the attitude era.

Theme song “There Are Traitors in Our Midst” by Disco Vietnam

Art by Alexis Yavne

Join Aaron, Bobby and Eric for a special Royal Rumble Pre-Show live stream on Facebook live on Sunday, January 26th at 5:00.

https://www.facebook.com/HellinaCellPod

A star is nearly murdered repeatedly as the WWF descends on Pittsburgh, PA. In the most famous match of the night, Undertaker and Mankind battle on top of a cell and a whole lot of thumbtacks. Steve Austin and Kane fight for the WWF Championship in a first blood match, but not, like, a FIRST first blood match. The Rock and Ken Shamrock duke it out for King of the Ring honors, though their semi-final opponents leave much to be desired. Al Snow’s gimmick match is Head and Shoulders above all others. Also, there are two bonus matches. What is a bonus match? We’re not sure either.

Theme song “There Are Traitors in Our Midst” by Disco Vietnam

Art by Alexis Yavne

Broken down cars set the scene for this WWF pay per view from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Sunny manages to seem the coolest person out of SEVEN people as LOD 2000 takes on the Disciples of Apocalypse. It’s goodbye forever for Sable if she loses her match with noted man Marc Mero. Kaientai show some amazing tandem offense as they take on Bradshaw and Taka Michinoku. We discuss why the heel should never be selling a legitimate injury as the Rock takes on Faarooq for the Intercontinental Title. We are all shocked to see who wins a mask vs. mask match between Vader, whose head is mostly visible, and Kane, who has never taken off his mask before. The WWF spends way too much time in a segment with legends Mad Dog Vachon and the Crusher. The DX/Nation rivalry heats up. And Dude Love challenges Stone Cold for the WWF Championship in one of the most prototypical Attitude Era matches!

Theme song “There Are Traitors in Our Midst” by Disco Vietnam

Art by Alexis Yavne

With WrestleMania behind them, the WWF went to Greensboro, NC and brought their CliffsNotes for Dante’s Inferno. It starts out with an injured Shamrock in a six man tag, Chyna dangling from a shark cage, more NWA tag nonsense, and the LOD 2000, and THEN you have to watch a Sawyer Brown “concert.” But at least it ends with Undertaker and Kane in a ring surrounded by fire, and the first great match of an underrated rivalry in “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. Dude Love.

Theme song “There Are Traitors in Our Midst” by Disco Vietnam

Art by Alexis Yavne

The Attitude Era starts for the last time in Boston, Massachusetts. A 15 tag team battle royal ends with the a repackaged Legion of Doom from the far future of the year 2000. Taka puts in WORK against Aguila for the Light Heavyweight Championship. Sergeant Slaughter fumbles all of his jobs as he’s handcuffed to Chyna during Triple H vs. Owen Hart for the European Championship. Possibly actually mentally unstable Ken Shamrock takes on the Rock for the Intercontinental Championship. Chainsaw Charlie and the New Age Outlaws fight in a dumpster match, not a dumpster of a match like any one with the Godwinns. A MONTHS long story finishes a major chapter as the Undertaker and Kane have their first match. And can Steve Austin overcome Shawn Michaels AND Mike Tyson? Oh HELL yeah!

Theme song “There Are Traitors in Our Midst” by Disco Vietnam

Art by Alexis Yavne

Check out the legends Attitude promo

The Attitude Era is here, and it has no room for award shows. We went back and handed out the awards that WWF didn’t for the year since WrestleMania 13. Come back next week for our WrestleMania XIV episode!

Art by Alexis Yavne