In this episode of the Hey Fundraiser podcast, Mary Petersen interviews Heather Withrow, a member of the Major Gift Momentum program. Heather shares her transformative journey in fundraising, detailing her impressive successes, including securing a $245,000 gift. The conversation explores the mindset shifts and strategies that have empowered Heather to approach fundraising with confidence and clarity, emphasizing the importance of community support and permission-based fundraising. The episode concludes with a light-hearted discussion about celebrating future successes in fundraising.

If you'd like to learn more about Momentum, click here. 

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen

• Website: www.heyfundraiser.com
• YouTube: @heyfundraisers
• Instagram: @heyfundraiser
• LinkedIn: Mary Petersen
• Email: [email protected]

🎯 Ready to Level Up Your Donor Meetings?

If you’re tired of leaving donor meetings with no gift, no timeline, and no follow-up plan, it’s time to learn the strategy that changes everything.
Check out Major Donor Meeting Mastery — my signature course that shows you exactly how to create momentum in the meeting, not after it.

➡️ Learn more

In this episode, Mary Petersen tackles one of the most-asked questions in fundraising: “What exact words do I use to close a major gift?” Mary breaks down the anatomy of an effective ask—clarity, confidence, and connection—and shares five solicitation styles with real-world language, when to use each, and why they work. You’ll learn how to time the ask using permission-based fundraising, avoid common pitfalls (like being vague or asking too soon), and tailor your approach to each donor’s style so you walk into every meeting poised, prepared, and confident.

Key Takeaways

• Tailor your ask to the donor’s style, motivations, and relationship stage.
• Lead with confidence—never apologize for your ask.
• Don’t ask too soon; use permission-based fundraising to confirm readiness.
• Always include a specific dollar amount and what it funds.
• Acknowledge past giving to build momentum for the next gift.
• Silence after the ask is strategic—let it do the heavy lifting.
• Different donors respond to different ask styles—match the method to the person.
• Personalize by naming the program/outcome your donor cares about.
• The “What would it take?” ask unlocks collaboration and negotiation with strategic donors.

Chapters

• 00:00 — Transforming Panic into Poise
• 02:49 — The Art of the Ask
• 06:12 — Common Mistakes in Fundraising
• 09:05 — Five Powerful Solicitation Styles
• 26:29 — Tailoring Your Approach for Success

The Five Solicitation Styles (with sample language)

1. Direct Ask — best for decisive, well-briefed donors
   “Sarah, we’re looking for partners to fund the new Food Pharmacy. Would you consider a gift of $100,000?”
   • Why it works: clear, concise, confident.
2. Gratitude Ask — ideal for loyal donors stepping up
   “Lisa, your generosity has changed lives. We’d love to invite you to deepen your impact with a $500,000 gift for the new animal shelter.”
   • Why it works: honors history, creates momentum.
3. Partnership Ask — perfect for lead/anchor gifts & insiders
   “Tom, you’re a champion of our mission. Would you consider investing $1 million to help us scale our food bank?”
   • Why it works: elevates the donor as a co-creator.
4. Storytelling Ask — for heart-driven, first-time major donors
   “Mark, let me tell you about Maria… With $75,000, we can help 10 more families like hers in the next six months.”
   • Why it works: connects dollars to human outcomes.
5. “What Would It Take?” Ask — for negotiators & strategic thinkers
   “Tim, what would it take for you to consider a $1 million

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen

• Website: www.heyfundraiser.com
• YouTube: @heyfundraisers
• Instagram: @heyfundraiser
• LinkedIn: Mary Petersen
• Email: [email protected]

🎯 Ready to Level Up Your Donor Meetings?

If you’re tired of leaving donor meetings with no gift, no timeline, and no follow-up plan, it’s time to learn the strategy that changes everything.
Check out Major Donor Meeting Mastery — my signature course that shows you exactly how to create momentum in the meeting, not after it.

➡️ Learn more

In this episode, Mary Petersen pulls back the curtain on the habits, mindsets, and metrics that consistently drive 5-, 6-, and 7-figure gifts. Whether you’re new to major gifts or ready to elevate your game, this episode breaks down what the best MGOs do differently — and how you can model their success starting today.

You’ll learn:
 ✨ The five daily habits every top MGO swears by
 📆 Why time-blocking and prioritizing the right donors changes everything
📊 The key metrics high performers track (and which ones to ditch)
🧠 How to shift your mindset from “petitioner” to “partner”
🔥 Why energy management is a fundraising superpower

By the end, you’ll know exactly what to focus on, how to measure the right work, and how to reframe your day-to-day to bring in bigger gifts — without burning out.

🧩 Key Takeaways:

1. Time-block donor work — Protect 90–120 minutes every day for strategy, outreach, and follow-up.
2. Prioritize by relationship stage, not recency. Responding to the latest email isn’t the same as advancing a relationship.
3. Know your top 25 cold. Keep them visible — whiteboard, sticky note, or list.
4. Track actions, not just dollars. Celebrate meaningful moves that build momentum.
5. Always plan the next step. Never leave a meeting without a clear follow-up.

💡 Bonus Metrics:

• 15–20 meaningful donor interactions per month
• 12–16 major gift asks per year
• 80% portfolio coverage every 6 months
• Track average gift size per officer

And remember — top MGOs think like partners, not petitioners. They don’t take “no” personally, and they know that rest and reflection fuel long-term success.

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen

• Website: www.heyfundraiser.com
• YouTube: @heyfundraisers
• Instagram: @heyfundraiser
• LinkedIn: Mary Petersen
• Email: [email protected]

🎯 Ready to Level Up Your Donor Meetings?

If you’re tired of leaving donor meetings with no gift, no timeline, and no follow-up plan, it’s time to learn the strategy that changes everything.
Check out Major Donor Meeting Mastery — my signature course that shows you exactly how to create momentum in the meeting, not after it.

➡️ Learn more

Ready to pour rocket fuel on your major gift efforts? Major Gift Momentum is the solution. Check it out here!

In this episode of Hey Fundraiser!, Mary Petersen dives into a surprisingly common (and often confusing) fundraising moment — when a donor sends in an unsolicited major gift that’s much smaller than what you were preparing to ask for. Should you celebrate it, be worried, or assume your cultivation failed? Mary breaks down exactly what to do next, why it happens, and how to respond strategically so you don’t lose momentum or confidence.

This episode will help you turn that “surprise gift” moment into an opportunity to requalify, re-engage, and deepen the relationship — instead of second-guessing your process.

You’ll Learn:

• 💡 Why unsolicited gifts happen — from “testing the waters” to avoiding a pitch.
• 🧭 The 4-step framework for responding to unexpected major gifts.
• 🗣️ How to thank donors thoughtfully and signal a bigger vision.
• 🤝 What to say (and not say) when you follow up.
• 🧩 When to “bless and release” vs. when to double down on cultivation.

Key Takeaways:

1. You didn’t blow it — unsolicited gifts are often a door opener, not a door closer.
2. Respond fast — thank within 24–48 hours and make it personal.
3. Signal there’s more — let donors know you have a bigger vision to share.
4. Re-engage with curiosity — ask discovery questions to uncover motivation.
5. Don’t chase endlessly — use Mary’s “three tries in three ways” rule before blessing and releasing.

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen

• Website: www.heyfundraiser.com
• YouTube: @heyfundraisers
• Instagram: @heyfundraiser
• LinkedIn: Mary Petersen
• Email: [email protected]

🎯 Ready to Level Up Your Donor Meetings?

If you’re tired of leaving donor meetings with no gift, no timeline, and no follow-up plan, it’s time to learn the strategy that changes everything.
Check out Major Donor Meeting Mastery — my signature course that shows you exactly how to create momentum in the meeting, not after it.

➡️ Learn more

Ready to pour rocket fuel on your major gift efforts? Major Gift Momentum is the solution. Check it out here!

Today we’re tackling one of the most common (and costly) mistakes I see major gift officers make: lowballing the ask.

If you’ve ever walked out of a donor meeting wondering if you should’ve asked for more—or felt afraid to offend a donor by going too big—this episode is your wake-up call. Because here’s the truth: donors aren’t offended by bold asks… they’re confused by vague ones.

We’ll unpack why fundraisers undershoot, how to calculate the right amount with confidence, and how to deliver your ask in a way that feels natural, strategic, and unapologetically bold.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Why “playing it safe” with smaller asks is actually hurting your organization (and your donors).
• The four biggest reasons fundraisers lowball their asks — and how to fix them.
• The real cost of under-soliciting (hint: it’s not just lost revenue).
• The confidence formula for determining the right ask amount using capacity, affinity, and readiness.
• How to deliver your ask with precision — using specific numbers, clear impact, and confident tone.
• What to say (and what not to say) when presenting different giving options.
• The four-question Confidence Checklist to know you’re ready to make the right ask.

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen

• Website: www.heyfundraiser.com
• YouTube: @heyfundraisers
• Instagram: @heyfundraiser
• LinkedIn: Mary Petersen
• Email: [email protected]

🎯 Ready to Level Up Your Donor Meetings?

If you’re tired of leaving donor meetings with no gift, no timeline, and no follow-up plan, it’s time to learn the strategy that changes everything.
Check out Major Donor Meeting Mastery — my signature course that shows you exactly how to create momentum in the meeting, not after it.

➡️ Learn more

Ready to pour rocket fuel on your major gift efforts? Major Gift Momentum is the solution. Check it out here!

Welcome back, fundraiser! In this episode, we're tackling one of the most head-scratching (and heart-sinking) experiences in major gift fundraising: donor silence.

Ever had a warm, engaged prospect suddenly vanish into the abyss of unread emails and unreturned voicemails? You're not alone—and you're definitely not doing anything wrong.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why donors really go silent (hint: it’s usually not personal)
• What not to say when following up (no guilt trips allowed)
•  What to say instead—4 proven re-engagement templates
• How to restart the conversation with confidence (even after 6 months)
• When to “bless and release” a prospect and protect your energy

Plus, I’m sharing my 3-touch outreach method and what to do when a donor ghosts you again after reconnecting.

🎯 Key Takeaway: Donor silence isn’t a door closing—it’s a pause. And you get to decide when (and how) to press play again.

🔁 If this episode helped, follow the podcast, leave a review, and share with a colleague who’s currently being ghosted!

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen

• Website: www.heyfundraiser.com
• YouTube: @heyfundraisers
• Instagram: @heyfundraiser
• LinkedIn: Mary Petersen
• Email: [email protected]

🎯 Ready to Level Up Your Donor Meetings?

If you’re tired of leaving donor meetings with no gift, no timeline, and no follow-up plan, it’s time to learn the strategy that changes everything.
Check out Major Donor Meeting Mastery — my signature course that shows you exactly how to create momentum in the meeting, not after it.

➡️ Learn more

Ready to pour rocket fuel on your major gift efforts? Major Gift Momentum is the solution. Check it out here!

Do you really need to spend 18 months cultivating a donor before making an ask? 😅  (Spoiler alert: Absolutely not.)

In this firecracker episode, Mary calls BS on the outdated “18-month cultivation” rule and walks you through how to build authentic, strategic donor relationships that lead to major gifts faster — without feeling rushed, pushy, or awkward.

What You'll Learn:

• Why loooong cultivation timelines are sabotaging your impact.
• The three things donors must be clear on to say “YES.”
• Five powerful ways to accelerate donor momentum without pressure.
• What to say instead of “can you support our work?” 🙃
• Why smaller portfolios = deeper relationships and bigger gifts.

Resources & Links

 🎯 Ready to crush your major gift goals faster? Grab Major Donor Meeting Mastery – it’s your fast track to YES for just $47!

If you loved this episode, please leave a review and share it with a teammate who’s stuck in “not yet” land.

Until next time, keep fundraising with clarity, purpose, and a little sass.

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen

• Website: www.heyfundraiser.com
• YouTube: @heyfundraisers
• Instagram: @heyfundraiser
• LinkedIn: Mary Petersen
• Email: [email protected]

🎯 Ready to Level Up Your Donor Meetings?

If you’re tired of leaving donor meetings with no gift, no timeline, and no follow-up plan, it’s time to learn the strategy that changes everything.
Check out Major Donor Meeting Mastery — my signature course that shows you exactly how to create momentum in the meeting, not after it.

➡️ Learn more

Interested in Major Gift Momentum? Check it out here!

Are you stuck chasing donors who never call back? Wasting your precious time on high-capacity but low-interest "prospects"? This episode is your rescue mission.

Mary introduces the ABCDE Method—a powerhouse framework to help you quickly spot which donors deserve your energy (and which should be blessed and released). You'll learn how to focus on donors with true potential and stop burning out on low-likelihood long shots.

With witty wisdom and a dose of real talk, Mary breaks down:

• Affinity + Action – Why caring alone isn't enough
• Big Gifts Elsewhere – The receipts don't lie!
• Connections Inside – One warm intro could be worth $100K
• Donor Behavior Upgrades – Look for spontaneous signs of readiness
• Engagement – Time and attention are donor love languages

You'll also get tips on how to filter your portfolio using this framework and how to bless and release like a boss.

🧠 What You’ll Learn:

• Why high-capacity ≠ high-likelihood
• How to qualify better and stress less
• The 5 signs that a prospect is actually ready for a major gift convo
• The art of saying “no” to the wrong people (without guilt)
• How to turn signals into strategy

🎁 Free Resource:

Download the Prospect Spotting Checklist to make donor strategy meetings faster, smarter, and more effective.

Grab it here 

📣 Don’t forget:

• Follow the show wherever you listen
• Leave a review if this helped you
• Share it with a teammate who's drowning in low-likelihood leads 🙃

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen

• Website: www.heyfundraiser.com
• YouTube: @heyfundraisers
• Instagram: @heyfundraiser
• LinkedIn: Mary Petersen
• Email: [email protected]

🎯 Ready to Level Up Your Donor Meetings?

If you’re tired of leaving donor meetings with no gift, no timeline, and no follow-up plan, it’s time to learn the strategy that changes everything.
Check out Major Donor Meeting Mastery — my signature course that shows you exactly how to create momentum in the meeting, not after it.

➡️ Learn more

📅 Episode Summary:
Ever wonder what a major gift coach actually does? In this episode, Mary pulls back the curtain on a single Monday filled with coaching sessions, new client strategy, proposal rewrites, and prospect deep dives. You’ll hear what it really takes to help fundraisers grow their confidence, build a major gift pipeline, and start closing six- and seven-figure gifts—no guesswork, no fluff.

💡 Whether you're a solo development officer, a board chair taking on fundraising, or a seasoned MGO needing structure and strategy—this episode is packed with real-life scenarios, coaching advice, and actionable takeaways.

🔥 In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Heather’s journey from $0 to $35K and how she’s prepping a $250K ask
• A theatre’s $3M challenge—and why their $10K/month consultant isn’t cutting it
• Coaching a one-person development shop through donor meeting language and confidence building
• Why your 15-page proposal is probably doing more harm than good
• How to build a prospect strategy map and cultivation touchpoint calendar
• Welcoming a new Major Gift Momentum member and creating systems from scratch
• Helping a large nonprofit structure messaging to inspire seven-figure gifts

✨ Links & Resources:

• 🧰 Major Donor Meeting Mastery – $47 Course
• 📚 Join the Fundraising Collective
• 🚢 Major Gift Momentum – Group Coaching
• ☎️ Book a Free 45-Minute Game Plan Call with Mary

💬 Quotable Moment:
"A major gift coach doesn’t just tell you what to do—we’re in the trenches with you, building your confidence, your materials, and your strategy." – Mary Petersen

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen

• Website: www.heyfundraiser.com
• YouTube: @heyfundraisers
• Instagram: @heyfundraiser
• LinkedIn: Mary Petersen
• Email: [email protected]

🎯 Ready to Level Up Your Donor Meetings?

If you’re tired of leaving donor meetings with no gift, no timeline, and no follow-up plan, it’s time to learn the strategy that changes everything.
Check out Major Donor Meeting Mastery — my signature course that shows you exactly how to create momentum in the meeting, not after it.

➡️ Learn more

Hey fundraiser! In this episode, I’m sharing a major mindset (and strategy) shift that changed everything for me in major gifts: Permission-Based Fundraising.

Years ago, I blew a solicitation—not because I asked for the wrong amount, but because I asked without permission. That moment reshaped how I approach every donor conversation, and today, I’m walking you through exactly how you can use this strategy to:

• Build deeper trust with your donors
• Create donor-led momentum through every stage of Moves Management
• Eliminate awkward asks and surprise solicitations
• Get more joyful, generous YESes (and fewer no-shows, ghostings, or "let me think about it"s)

This episode is packed with permission-based scripts, psychology-backed strategies, and real examples you can use right away. If you’ve ever felt unsure about when to ask or struggled to move relationships forward—this one’s for you.

💡 What You’ll Learn:

• What permission-based fundraising is—and why it’s more powerful than pitch-based approaches
• The difference between “making the ask” and inviting a gift
• My favorite permission-based phrases you can use in donor meetings right now
• Why asking permission actually speeds up your major gift results
• How to keep the ball in your court while honoring the donor's autonomy
• The #1 question to ask before you ever solicit a gift

🔗 Resources & Links:

• Learn more about the Major Gift Ask Formula – Know exactly when it’s time to make the ask
• Explore our coaching programs and resources at www.heyfundraiser.com

10 Permission-Based Ask Examples for Fundraisers:

• “Would it be okay if I shared an idea that I think really aligns with your passion for [X]?”
• “When the timing feels right for you, I’d love to explore ways you could make a meaningful impact.”
• “Can I show you what your support could unlock — just to get your thoughts?”
• “Would you be open to hearing a vision we’re excited about — no pressure, just a conversation?”
• “If you're curious, I could walk you through a few giving opportunities that match what you've told me matters to you.”
• “Would it feel good to explore how you might be part of this — or would you rather stay in learning mode a bit longer?”
• “Can I keep you in the loop as we move this forward, in case the timing feels right down the road?”
• “Would you be willing to help us shape what this looks like? Your input would mean a lot.”
• “I’ve got something I think you’d enjoy seeing — would it be okay if I sent it your way?”
• “Are you open to a conversation about what meaningful support could look like, even if it’s not now?”

💬 Leave a Review:

If this episode sparked a lightbulb moment or helped you re

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen

• Website: www.heyfundraiser.com
• YouTube: @heyfundraisers
• Instagram: @heyfundraiser
• LinkedIn: Mary Petersen
• Email: [email protected]

🎯 Ready to Level Up Your Donor Meetings?

If you’re tired of leaving donor meetings with no gift, no timeline, and no follow-up plan, it’s time to learn the strategy that changes everything.
Check out Major Donor Meeting Mastery — my signature course that shows you exactly how to create momentum in the meeting, not after it.

➡️ Learn more