Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

204  Developing your sensitivity, instead of overcoming it, may be one of the best things you can do for your marriage. We HSPs often think of ourselves as “too sensitive”, but actually, our sensitivity is the very thing that can make our marriages richer and better than any others on earth!

I often talk about how ”working with” your sensitivity is quite key to your happiness in love– and your whole life, and it is true there are many ways we can learn to do that to thrive. And, we can also DEVELOP some of what is already there –  deepen it, sharpen it, fine tune what we naturally bring that already is an asset for our relationships.

Today I want to specifically talk about one easy way you can develop your sensitivity for a richer, more deeply intimate, relationship. You’ll learn what that is, how you are already probably pretty good at it, how to refine this gift, and what gets in the way of it all too often. 

You’ll also learn about a couple (of many more) other aspects of sensitivity you also want to develop. My hope is you will come away from this episode reminded of the natural gifts you already possess, and some simple easy to implement ideas about how to deepen those gifts for more harmony and a sense of being lovingly in-sync in your marriage. Listen in.

SHOW NOTES:

• Join Hannah in her special end-of-year 3 session program,  A BETTER MARRIAGE IN 1 MONTH: A Mini 1:1 Marriage Coaching Program For HS Women To Start to FEEL the power you have to change the whole emotional culture of your marriage into one of more safety and  warmth, without dragging your partner into therapy. Click here to learn more.  
• Take The 2 Minute Free Quiz: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage? Find out the most important place for you to focus on to make your unique marriage more loving and connected a sensitive woman.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

•  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) 

203  "That couple is just so in love…so much more than we are!" "How come we can’t communicate like that?"  "What's wrong with our relationship that my husband doesn't look at me like that?"

 Ever sounded like that in your head? Ever compared your relationship, or your spouse, to other couples or spouses…and then felt even more unhappy about your relationship? Clients ask me about this often. 

It's so common that there is a term for it: Compare and despair. Today, we are calling it Relationship Compare and Despair, since we will focus in how it affects our love lives. It’s a wired-in thing our brains just do as humans, especially if we aren't totally happy in our relationships. But it hurts and disempowers us, and makes our relationships worse.

So how do you stop? In this episode I will tell you, and help you turn this habit into something that, instead of making things harder, can help your marriage get better.

You will also learn what is driving the despair that often accompanies comparing, as well as the most important shift to make to put an end to most of the pain or upset you feel in your relationship, so you can effectively shape your relationship into one that feels lighter, more loving, and connected and all the things you want…

You can stop letting comparison undermine your love and connection. You can use it instead as an opportunity to make your marriage into the very best one it can be. Listen in to learn how. 

SHOW NOTES:

• Join Hannah in her special end-of-year 3 session program,  A BETTER MARRIAGE IN 1 MONTH: A Mini 1:1 Marriage Coaching Program For HS Women To Start to FEEL the power you have to change the whole emotional culture of your marriage into one of more safety and  warmth, without dragging your partner into therapy.  Click here to learn more.  
• Take The 2 Minute Free Quiz: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage? Find out the most important place for you to focus on to make your unique marriage more loving and connected a sensitive woman.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

•  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) 

202 Want to make sure you aren't settling for unfair treatment, letting your partner's hurtful behavior fly, passively just “taking” your partners rudeness, or being a doormat? Want to stand up for yourself and proactively make sure you get the BEST treatment from your spouse, not just the scraps? Ever wondered if what I share on this podcast lets your spouse get away with too much? This episode is for YOU!!!

You’ll learn how, for the best marriage possible with your spouse,  you need to develop both a soft belly, and a strong back. In other words, you need an emotional skillset that allows for true open-heartedness (instead of reactivity and defensiveness) AND you need to take specific strategic "strong" actions that prevent any poor treatment and GET the loving treatment you deserve in your marriage. 

I generally teach more about the soft belly piece, because you can’t do the strong back piece well without it–and this part does NOT get enough attention in the relationship advice/self-help world… BUT the strong back pieces (i.e. specific actions and strategies) are 100% essential, too, to have a great marriage.

So listen in today to hear what those “strong back” strategies are, and how you can learn more about implementing them, and what you must also be able to do in order for them to create a truly loving connected marriage (instead of a roommate or business-partner type relationship of cold functionality). 

The magic lies in the combination of both a strong back and a soft belly, not one by itself. Come hear exactly what I mean.

SHOW NOTES

• Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage way more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form. 
• Take The 2 Minute Free Quiz: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage? Find out the most important place for you to focus on to make your unique marriage more loving and connected a sensitive woman.
  
  

One of the common behavior patterns we HSPs can be prone to is people pleasing – or partner pleasing! Interestingly, on the surface people pleasing seems lovely, it can wreak real emotional havoc and really hurt our intimate relationship over time. 

Today my special guest, Todd Smith, a highly sensitive person and host of the podcast,  Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People, and I are going to talk about all about people and partner pleasing: what it looks like, what it leads to (ahem, talk about resentment! And overwhelm!), why we do it, and how it affects us and our marriages. 

You’ll hear examples of how we both have "people pleased” in our own lives and relationships, and client stories, as well.  

Then we will offer several ways to break this habit or pattern, and ultimately be TRUE to yourself, more authentic and honest in your marriage,  less stressed and overwhelmed, and feel more loved for who you really are.

Whether you think you may sometimes fall in to people pleasing, or not, you may be surprised at what you’ll learn about yourself and other people in your life as you listen to this fun, important, laughter-filled conversation. You’ll come away intrigued by how much opportunity for real loving change can come from leaving this pattern in the past, and clear on how to get started. 

SHOW NOTES:

TODD SMITH: 

• Find Todd's website and free Stress Test HERE
• Listen to his podcast, Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People here.

HANNAH BROOKS

• FREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it’s affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.
• Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage way more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever--WITHOUT PEOPLE PLEASING. Get started by filling out this form. 
• See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.

200  I have developed a habit of forgiveness over the years in my marriage. And today I want to tell you about it and why it has saved my marriage–and my own heart– over and over.  

Forgiveness is so easily misunderstood. I share about how I was confused about it, too, and how, in the past, this led to stopping myself from forgiving things my husband has done that felt hurtful to me. But, luckily, I figured out how to move past that, and I learned how to really forgive. 

(And to be clear, this did NOT mean I let him walk all over me or keep doing hurtful things. In fact, it is because I have learned to forgive so well that he is NOT doing hurtful things nearly as much!)

I want you to hear my story, because I think you may be inspired and also surprised by how much developing this habit of forgiveness has done for me, for my husband, and for our marriage. 

It has even allowed my husband to become a better, and better, husband over time. 

So listen in to learn what it took me, why it's made such a tremendous difference in our lives together, and how you can also develop this healing, connecting habit of forgiveness, for the sake of your own heart, and your own marriage.

SHOW NOTES

Join the Master Class: FREE YOUR HEART FOR MORE LOVE; GETTING PAST BLAME, RESENTMENT, AND GRIEVANCE. It's just $37.  Registration closes Oct. 23rd, 2025 at midnight. Learn more here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

•  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) 

199  Resentment, grievance, and blame: these are not easy things to move past in our intimate relationships, especially, when it feels like your partner has piled on many little – or big – hurts, transgressions, and wrongdoings over the course of your relationship.

Resent and blame come very naturally to us as humans, so if you feel them, you are oh-so-normal. AND, they are keeping you locked out of your heart. THey are keeping you from the love you could otherwise be feeling, and the love you could otherwise be receiving. 

So in this episode, I give you a formula to begin to let go of resentment you may be feeling towards your spouse. 

I also dive into:

• what resentment is, 
• how it is different from anger,  
• why it may not be what you have always thought it was, 
• why it is so important to move past it,  
• what situation this resentment resolution formula works best in,
• several stories about my clients and myself that will help you understand how to use this formula to get free of the resentment that is dragging you and your relationship down, 
• and how to go deeper to truly set your heart FREE to love and be loved again.

When we harbor resentment towards our spouse, whether it is just a small amount or a large amount, it eats us up from the inside out, like a poison. Luckily, YOU have the power to heal it. Dive into this episode now and begin.

SHOW NOTES

Join the Master Class: FREE YOUR HEART FOR MORE LOVE; GETTING PAST BLAME, RESENTMENT, AND GRIEVANCE. It's just $37.  Learn more here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

•  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) 

198  To make your relationship better, it's absolutely essential to BELIEVE it is possible to do so. That's why I love sharing about the changes my clients see when they work with me: it helps you believe you can also make your relationship better, too!

 But it's even more helpful and inspiring to hear directly from these women themselves. So here's Caroline! Get ready to feel so much hope and inspiration.

When Caroline came to me for 1:1 coaching, she was struggling with feeling small and insecure in her relationship, unsure it could work, afraid to fully be herself, and frustrated at her own behavior. She kept having doubts that this relationship could last. But she really wanted it to work. 

And it has. The relationship is so strong now, and she feels  really free to be her full self in it. She is so much happier, feels really secure, connected, and in love and loved. She feels how much power she has to continue to make things great, and has seen her partner grow a lot, too, as she has focused on her own inner work and how she shows up in the relationship. 

What did it take for her to get here? Listen in as she shares many gold nuggets of wisdom, pieces from her coaching journey that made all the difference for her, and tips for other HSP women to make their marriages more secure, loving, and mutually supportive.

You will also hear: 

• What things were like for her before working with me (many of which are oh-so-common for HS women)
• More about what has changed for her and her partner since working with me
• Specific details about the nervous system work and thought work that made so much difference for her.
• Why is it normal to fear that this work may not “work” 
• How she started believing coaching with me would work–and why that made all the difference in the world 
• What made it possible for her to be so good at implementing the coaching I gave her and applying the tools.
• Why “leading love” works, and how much power you have as a highly sensitive woman to change your relationship for the much better
• How her partner shifted himself as she did this work, and how much sway her inner work had in how wonderful the relationship is now
• What has been the difference for her between listening to the podcast, and direct coaching support and how therapy and coaching have been different for her
• Why the structure and process of coaching with me works and makes it easy to really DO what it takes to make your relationship great
• Why she wants to have a non-sensitive brain and why “equipping” it matters for love.
• And lots more!

You'll come away from this episode with deep insight into what so much of what I’ve shared on this podcast looks like applied in the real life and relationships of an HSP woman, more confidence that you really have so much power to improve things in your marriage, and a deeper sense of hope and motivation that you, too, can have a much brighter future as you do this work yourself. 

SHOW NOTES:

• Learn more about Jungle Cacao Peru HERE, or follow on instagram @junglecacaoperu
• Hop on Hannah's Email list here
• Come coach with Hannah in her private 1:1 Marriage Coaching program, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.

197 One of the reasons so many marriages and relationships are not as good as they could be, or are really quite painful, is that we tend to approach our relationships in instinctual ways. 

Since instinct often comes not from our inner wisdom (that intuition’s role), but from our inner protective patterning and our cultural conditioning, following our instinct in our relationship can often slowly –or quickly– erode the love and closeness in it. 

The truth is that building and maintaining the best possible marriage with our partner entails a lot of things that are not instinctual—that are actually quite counterintuitive!

We want to embrace these counter-instinctual ways–and don't worry, over time they eventually do become natural or instinctual to do. 

But to embrace them, you need to know what they are, of course! 

So today I am going to share 18 counter-instinctual approaches or understandings that HEAL and CONNECT and lead to truly a fulfilling relationship with your partner.

You’ll also hear about how I followed my instinct in my first marriage until I ran into the ground, what the difference is between instinct, intuition, and skill, and how when I say counter-instinctual  approaches I also mean cutting edge, and well, simply effective.

 Seeing as the way we have been doing relationships for the last 70 years or more is obviously not yielding the loving, secure, mutually corroborating, deeply connected marriages we really want as women,  tune in today and learn 18 of the counterintuitive things to understand and live out to make your marriage one you feel so RIGHT in, so at HOME in, and so much LOVE in.

SHOW NOTES:

• Take the FREE QUIZ: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage?
• Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.  SEE WHAT PAST CLIENTS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT WORKING WITH HANNAH HERE.
• See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

•  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) 

196 Hope comes in various flavors. Some of them promote better relationships, and some drag them down. Hope can leave us helpless to change things, OR make us powerful agents of change in our marriages (and other areas of our lives, of course).

Today you will hear about the 2 kinds of hope that don’t help, and the 1 kind of hope that makes ALL the difference in your marriage–and in being able to make your marriage the loving one you want. 

This episode is especially for you if you've been trying and trying to make changes in your marriage for years, but you aren't seeing any real lasting change for the better. Believe me, I have been there!! 

Dive in to hear about what happens when we succumb to apathy, cynicism, futility, and despair, and how the way you might be relating to hope may be the same as just giving up. 

Learn, instead, how I use what I call Active Hope to continue to make my marriage better and better, and how you, too, can harness it, so that you come away with a relationship to hope that will drive the best kind of change between you and your partner.

Everyone could use a good dose of hope and inspiration from time to time. This is yours today.

SHOW NOTES:

• Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form. 
• See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.
• FREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it’s affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

•  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) 

195 This may be one of the most important episodes you will hear to make your marriage the one you want it to be. 

Especially if, like so many women, you wonder “Why should I be the one to do the work on our relationship?” Or you feel burdened or resentful that you seem to be alone in working on your marriage. Or if it just seems unfair that a lot of relationship advice is directed at women, when men have so much to learn when it comes to having a great relationship. 

If you're feeling that way, I get it. I’ve been there. AND it is making it HARDER to have the loving, connected, mutually supportive marriage you want with your spouse. 

In this episode, you’ll hear why. And why this line of thinking is leading to an almost epidemic of women being unhappy in their marriages. 

What I want most is for you to feel deeply fulfilled in your relationship–and you want that too! So we’ve got to address this. Because trying to create deeper, better love from a sense of burden and resentment will never work. 

You didn’t get married to just tolerate your relationship. You signed up for something way better than that. You want to truly enjoy your marriage. And like it or not, that means you WILL have to work for it, no matter how much your partner is also working on it. 

But it can be fun, even joyful. In fact, in this episode, I share how I work on my marriage every single day---with joy, passion, and feeling like it’s a sacred honor that I GET to do–and how you can, too. 

Listen to this episode to move past the burden and resentment that comes from feeling like you have to do this work with no or very little help from your spouse, and so you can feel truly empowered to do what it takes to make your marriage what you want it to be.

SHOW NOTES:

• Thinking about working with Hannah? Learn all about the place to start: Foundations of Emotional Well-Being for HSP's,  HERE.
• FREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it’s affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

•  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Check out the Start Here Podcast Pathway for a suggested route through the most important episodes to start with or review — the ones that will help you feel calmer, more secure, and more hopeful in your relationship.