Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

 This episode is one of the -- if not THE-- #1 most essential episode of this podcast, if you want to have a loving, connected lasting marriage. SO important I'm updating and re-publishing it so you can listen again--or for the first time. 

Most of us limit ourselves (unconsciously, of course!) from feeling as much love as we could in our marriages. We therefore not only miss out on all the love available, but we also miss out on the benefits it brings to our marriages, and to our own selves–of which there are SO many, especially for you as a highly sensitive person. 

Now, you may want to feel more love, but you may also feel like it’s not really up to you. That how much love you feel is contingent on how loving your spouse is. You may tend to only experience feeling love when it’s easy to do so, and not so much when your husband does things that make it hard to love.

Today, my friend, we begin to change all of this. Because love is always available to you, and you can even love what is hard to love (only if you want to, of course!). But it is a skill you may need to learn, so it can become habit–or simply natural to you.

When you make a habit of loving without conditions, only good can come of it. 

Listen in to this episode to find out what I mean, how it can bring out the gift of your sensitivity, and how you can be empowered to have so much more love in your marriage and life–no matter what your husband is or isn’t doing– by no longer withholding love unconsciously, and instead making unrestricted love a regular and deeply nurturing part of your life.

SHOW NOTES:

Learn more about Foundations of Emotional Well-Being for HSP's, now a self-paced program that goes well beyond the nervous system to help you have the deepest emotional well-being, and steadiest foundation for a great marriage.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Check out the Start Here Podcast Pathway for a suggested route through the most important episodes to start with or review — the ones that will help you feel calmer, more secure, and more hopeful in your relationship.

183   This episode is for everyone in an intimate relationship —especially if reactivity is ever an issue, or if you ever find yourself in sticky, difficult, or heated interactions with your spouse– or you just want to communicate and relate even better!

You will learn one of the most essential skills you can develop to make your relationship strong and loving: The Pause. 

Being able to pause is immensely powerful when it comes to  communication and navigating conflict is a graceful way– and even avoiding conflict and reactivity altogether. I would go so far as to say being able to Pause, in the way I describe in this episode, is a sacred skill. 

It gives you the ability to respond skillfully, instead of reacting in a way that makes things worse.

But, as simple as the idea of pausing is, it is HARD to actually do. This episode will change that!

So listen in to hear:

• What the pause actually is, 
• Why it’s so key to success in love
• Why it is so hard to do (without the key I will teach you)
• They 1 major key to being able to successfully do it
• And the practical and simple practice that will make you a pro at the Pause in a matter of weeks

Once you’ve tuned in and done as I suggest in this episode, you will be so much further ahead of most people in your ability to respond to your spouse, no matter the situation, in a way that invites peace, understanding, connection, and even collaboration, and you’ll be well positioned to preserve and deepen the integrity and strength of your relationship for the long haul.

SHOW NOTES:

CHECK OUT THE COURSES MENTIONED: 

• Stop Taking It So Personally 
• Closer To Your Husband in 7 Days

 ENJOYING THE PODCAST?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. ALWAYS CHECK THAT YOU ARE STILL RECEIVING DOWNLOADS (if not click arrow in upper righthand corner).
• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship-- AND support the podcast for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Hop on Hannah's Email list for more direct support for your relationship right into your inbox.

182 The ESSENCE of what it takes to have a good – even GREAT – marriage is not complex – it's actually very simple. 

In this episode, I boil down EVERYTHING I teach my clients to do–and everything I have done to make my marriage the amazing loving thriving one it is– into the 3 things you must do to have the same. Just 3! 

Because I want you to see how simple it really is. 

That said, DOING them may not be “easy” without learning some basic things. Which is why, in this episode, I also point you to resources that help you learn how to DO these in easy, digestible, do-able steps. 

Tune in to learn:

• The 3 simple things you must be able to do to have a great marriage–the WHAT you need to do to make your marriage loving, supportive, affectionate and fun
• How to determine which of the 3 areas YOU personally would benefit most from focusing on first 
• A deeper overview of the 3 things, what happens when you aren't good at them, and why they are so key to a great marriage.
• HOW to learn each of these 3 things (what will make doing the 3 things so much easier) beyond this podcast, so you can reap the huge rewards of your marriage becoming the way more loving, connected, light-hearted one you want it to be.

Listen in. You will come away with a clarity that has likely been missing up until now, and a clear direction to move in to make your marriage better, and better… and better!

SHOW NOTES:

Take the QUIZ to find out which of the 3 areas to focus on first: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage?

CHECK OUT THE COURSES MENTIONED: 

• Stop Taking It So Personally 
• Closer To Your Husband in 7 Days

 ENJOYING THE PODCAST?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. ALWAYS CHECK THAT YOU ARE STILL RECEIVING DOWNLOADS (if not click arrow in upper righthand corner).
• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship-- AND support the podcast for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Hop on Hannah's Email list for more direct support for your relationship right into your inbox.

181   If you sometimes find yourself overwhelmed, triggered, emotionally overloaded, or reactive in conversation (or conflicts) with your spouse, this is a must listen episode.

In it, I want to introduce you to a key thing to do (a tool I don’t want ANY HSP to live without), broken down into 4 simple steps,  so you can get back to navigating that charged moment or conflict with grace, sensitivity, effectiveness, and in a way you feel good about.

Because if you are a sensitive woman who wants to show up at your best and have the best relationship you can with your significant other, this is one tool (or simple skill) you must have in your toolbox…. and actually use!

It can make or break a relationship, it is so powerful. And it will serve you in any situation that tends to spike your stress levels to a point that causes you to feel overwhelmed or like it’s just  “too much”.

Dive in to understand why and when to use this tool, and the 4 simple steps to actually do it, so you, your relationship, and your spouse can reap the rewards  of more ease, connection, and more loving, respectful, and solution oriented  communication – and ultimately a stronger overall relationship. 

SHOW NOTES

Hop on my email list here. Or click here to get on it AND get free support.

CHECK OUT THE COURSES MENTIONED: 

• Stop Taking It So Personally 
• Foundations of Emotional Wellbeing for HSPs

OTHER COURSES Of HANNAH'S

• Closer To Your Husband in 7 Days
• Bring Back the Attraction

 ENJOYING THE PODCAST?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. ALWAYS CHECK THAT YOU ARE STILL RECEIVING DOWNLOADS (if not click arrow in upper righthand corner).
• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 

180 Most, if not all, couples argue. Even when their relationship is very healthy. So if you and your spouse find yourself mired in the occasional --or even more regular -- conflict, it doesn't mean it’s detrimental to your marriage, and it doesn't have to be painful…

In fact, conflict can actually be an important part of growing a more deeply intimate, connected and supportive marriage. 

How do you make sure conflict goes the most smoothly it can, does the least damage– and the most good in your marriage? As an HSP I know you want to know!

The answer is simply: develop some simple skills and put some basic ground rules for conflict in place. 

In this episode, you will learn my 9 most highly suggested basic ground rules for navigating conflict better, and hear my advice on how to begin implementing them, and actually start the process right away! 

This episode is a great one to listen to with your spouse, if they are willing!

Grab a pen and some paper, dive in, and be ready to change the course of your conflicts forever for the better, so you can solve issues, really understand each other better, and become a closer, stronger couple over time.  

SHOW NOTES

CHECK OUT THE COURSES MENTIONED: 

• Stop Taking It So Personally 
• Foundations of Emotional Wellbeing for HSPs

OTHER COURSES Of HANNAH'S

• Closer To Your Husband in 7 Days
• Bring Back the Attraction

 ENJOYING THE PODCAST?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. ALWAYS CHECK THAT YOU ARE STILL RECEIVING DOWNLOADS (if not click arrow in upper righthand corner).
• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Hop on Hannah's Email list for more direct support for your relationship right into your inbox.

179  Things are changing around here going forward. What will it mean for you? How can the podcast (now a vast library!) be even MORE helpful going forward?

Listen to this short episode to hear what to expect and how the changes will affect you – and how you can make the most of the podcast and my support to make your marriage great going forward.

I will give you a few very specific and practical suggestions for how you can make the most of my help via the podcast and beyond (hint: give me your topic suggestions, get access to the podcast map, and other super simple actions to take right away). 

You’ll also hear how I've been working behind the scenes to make my help more accessible for more people with other offerings beyond deep-dive coaching, and how this goes hand in hand with this podcast to make it even MORE useful to you. 

Please listen in, so you can get the most out of this podcast and all the ways I can help you make your relationship one you feel great in as an HSP. 

SHOW NOTES
Suggested to do's:

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. ALWAYS CHECK THAT YOU ARE STILL RECEIVING DOWNLOADS (if not click arrow in upper righthand corner).
• Hop on Hannah's Email list. 
• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• CHECK OUT HANNAH'S COURSES: 
  • Closer To Your Husband in 7 Days
  • Stop Taking It So Personally 
  • Bring Back the Attraction
  • Foundations of Emotional Wellbeing for HSPs

Hannah's Website ( Scroll to bottom to find contact form and submit topic ideas).

178  If you're unhappy enough in your marriage to be questioning if you should stay or go, you probably feel uncertain, confused, afraid. You're too scared and unsure if it's the right thing to do to actually leave, but you also know you don't want to go on living like this with your spouse.

What if your spouse CAN improve? What if you CAN connect in the deeper ways you want? What if you CAN’T? What if he can't? It can be paralyzing. And spirit killing!

It’s time for some clarity about what's best for you moving forward!

In this episode, I will help you get that. Although there isn't a black and white answer I can hand you today, I do have some clear advice to share. And even an outline for an illuminating and super clarifying conversation that you can have with your spouse to help you know whether it is time, or not, to leave—or whether this relationship actually has room to improve into a fulfilling one you really WANT to stay in.

I will also share more in depth the 5 ingredients you need to put into this clarifying conversation, and what needs to happen first, during and after.

I could have easily called this episode “How To Motivate Your Spouse Stretch And Grow Into The Partner You Really Want”, instead. Because what I share in this episode, if you implement it, is the most powerful way I have ever seen to invite and motivate your spouse to do a whole lot more to make your marriage one you both feel great in…

And if he is unable even then to be the loving supportive partner you want in life, you will know for sure that staying is not what's best for you, and be free to move on with integrity, confidence, and peace. Listen in.

SHOW NOTES:

Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching (learn more here), and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever.  Doors Close for the foreseeable future on January 15th, 2025!  Fill out this form to get started. SEE WHAT PAST CLIENTS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT WORKING WITH HANNAH HERE.

Find Hannah's On-Demand Courses (for more connection, attraction, and ending hurt and disconnection) here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

•  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

177  There are three major things I learned from my first marriage ending in divorce that have allowed me to create an amazing fulfilling marriage with my second husband. And they have to do with understanding my sensitivity so much better. 

As I've worked with hundreds of other highly sensitive women, I've noticed the struggles I had in my first marriage echo so many of the struggles these other HSP women have in theirs.  

So it makes sense what worked for me will also help you have a much more fulfilling marriage!

AND the unhappiness, lack of fulfillment, and pain we tend to feel in our relationships as sensitive women is often sourced in a few challenges that are an innate part of high sensitivity. 

Even though this trait is amazing, and a true gift for you and the lucky people who get to have you in their lives, high sensitivity can come with a shadow side, especially when it comes to specific aspects of intimate relationships. 

Listen in to this episode for a reminder of how your sensitivity can be such a strength when it comes to intimate partnerships (it never hurts to hear a reminder, right?!), and also  hear how the same qualities ( which have to do with our conscientiousness and high standards) can sometimes end up undermining the strength of the relationship–until you implement the 3 tips I share.

Not only do I share quite a bit about my first marriage to help illustrate my advice, so it's fun to listen to, but the 3 tips I share are simple. Just listening to this episode can bring you some real "ahas" and lead to some great change in your marriage or committed relationship. Happy New Year!

SHOW NOTES:

Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching (learn more here), and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever.  Doors Close for the foreseeable future on January 15th, 2025!  Fill out this form to get started.

Find Hannah's On-Demand Courses (for more connection, attraction, and ending hurt and disconnection) here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

•  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

176  When things are feeling less connected, loving and supportive in your relationship than you want them to as a highly sensitive person, there is an excellent chance a lot of it is coming from chronic dysregulation and emotional overload. In other words, stress.  

As Hsps, it is hard to NOT feel overstimulated or stressed in our modern lives. I’ve recently shared a fair amount about how this leads to nervous system and emotional dysregulation. Which is, honestly, terrible for relationship health! 

But it is a lot more than the outer world that creates this dysregulation and stress. In this episode I dive into the huge thing that tends to create this internal overstimulation– in other words, how we dysregulate ourselves from the inside out! 

It's important to SEE this, and how you do it. In this episode I will give you a great starting place. 

I also share how to stop this internal dysregulation so you can feel peaceful, and be able to give and receive the deepest love, and have the best marriage.

I honestly think, without understanding what I share in this episode, it will be 1000 times harder to be alive and to be married as a sensitive person (it sure was for me!). So tune in to this essential episode.

SHOW NOTES:

Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching (learn more here), and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever.  Doors Close for the foreseeable future on January 15th, 2025!  Fill out this form to get started.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

•  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.

175  Ever felt that stinging (or punch-in-the-gut) feeling when your partner says or does something hurtful? Or maybe it’s something he doesn't do that leads to you feeling like he just doesn’t care. Like you don’t matter. Like you aren’t loved.

Normal for everyone, for highly sensitive women and deep-feeling women, this is extra oh-so-common.

It may very well be true that your partner could be more skillful in his interactions with you. At the same time, so much of the hurt you feel in these moments comes from taking things personally. (Even if you may not think you do so, listen in to find out for real, because it is a human brain thing, and most people do it to some degree.)

And you can put an end to that NOW.

And you want to. Because taking things personally doesn't just hurt–it costs us big time in our intimate relationships, leading to all sorts of AVOIDABLE pain. . . and diminishment of affection and connection.

I, too,  used to take all sorts of things personally, and it hurt me and my marriage. I spent years learning how to put an end to that unnecessary pain, and replace it with the closeness, ease and love I want between my husband and I. I want that for you to.

As you learn to not take things so personally, it will free you up to have way more of the support, connection and loving intimacy you want with your partner.

Listen in to this updated and re-release essential episode, where I dive into 3 big keys to stop taking things so personally so you can feel less hurt and more love everyday of your life.

And don't miss the announcement about the short course you can take to make your habit of taking things personally a thing of the past for you.

SHOW NOTES:

Click here to learn about and join THE STOP TAKING IT SO PERSONALLY COURSE
--7 steps to less hurt and more love every day of your life.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!