Hilda's Shoulder

A crutch is any device that is used to aid mobility. Women should not use their relationships / marriages as crutches on the journey to self fulfilment. Self- fulfilment, purpose ,happiness emanate from self.

If you find yourself in a relationship that feels like a game of chess - its a good idea to confirm your feelings.

A relationship should not be a power play.

Exiting such a relationship may be one of the best ways to save you from emotional turmoil.

We need to learn that we cannot own people the way we own earthly things.

We cannot "train" the way you would a dog.

We can only encourage them to be the best version of themselves and embrace their individuality.

Sometimes, we look back in time and wonder why our partner or spouse has changed.

It may be that they actually changed or we ourselves saw them differently. What is of importance is to manage our expectations of them and deal with who they are, not who we want them to be.

When you give expression to what you really want from your partner / spouse, your happiness level goes up a notch!

The feeling of being fulfilled in a relationship or marriage only comes when we have our head and heart boxes being ticked.

A lot of people are unfulfilled because they may not be giving expression to their real wants.

Dig deep to know what it is you really want out of the union!

We are often blindsided into believing that it is only we our spouse /partner is more like us that the relationship will reach meaningful heights.

We must do the work and find out how to reach our significant other ,whilst also making ourselves available to be found by them!

Doing appraisals doesn't end at work.We must appraise our relationships too,so we dont lose or waste emotional energy, time and probably money.

We must endeavour to go for what is best for us and not wallow in forever sad,painful, or messyland!

Sometimes we fall in Love, not with the person ,but with the idea of falling in Love,we may also marry because of the idea of marriage and not really for the right / good reasons.Through self knowledge - knowing who are are and what we really want, is the first step in nurturing a lasting marriage or relationship.

Everything is life has to do with balance. Balancing who we are and what other's expect us to be is key - If we are to have sound mental health.