Hilda's Shoulder

Africa is mostly patrilinral.Its a man's world in many respects. This podcast is about the habit of some Naija men and the manner in which they critise or talk down on their partners when others are present- worse stil,is if the "others" are their children.

Partners or spouses might not be able to fill the void of our Love tank.Only in loving ourselves completely can we truly give and receive Love.

Being a partner or spouse shouldnt be a chore or a "shift" The little spaces in between a relationship actually forestall boredom and monotony.Partners / Spouses get to remember what made them get together in the first place when there periods of being away from each other.

The expectations that the Naija women should "blend- in" with her partner or spouse and remain blended -in leads to a monotony in the relationship or marriage. "Me time" is almost non existent not to talk of "space". Sadly,it is this much needed space that brings newness and vibrance into the relationship.

This episode is a special for women in the diaspora who are dating or married to Nigerian men.I discuss a few tit bits to help you understand how best to navigate your boyfriend (if you have intentions to get married) or husband regarding his relatives and what is expected of you. The more interested you are in learning and blending with the “Nigerian vibe and culture” the more you will be loved and accepted.

Talking about being with someone or being married to them means amongst others ,understanding where they are coming from . Childhood experiences make their mark on people. When the experience is bad - abusive the effects continue into adulthood. The negative words / abuse by parents become a jury and executioner in the lives of children and which metamorphosis culminates into mental health illnesses. This podcast is also to encourage you to get professional help if you have suffered abuse from your parent(s) or anyone else.

A typical Naija “Omo Mummy” was raised to be conservative especially concerning the opposite sex. Her Mother drummed it in her ears not to be in a hurry to have sex with a new guy. She grows up trying to keep it together. Are there time lines? How long after starting a new relationship should she give it up? Listen my guest and I discuss it.

As a strong Naija woman whose Mother raised her to be a “good girl” one would tend not to be in a hurry to f@#% a new guy. How soon after saying yes to a new relationship should you do it? Should you give the guy a hard time ? Let’s hear what I and my guest have to say about it!

For some men the mention of the period is a turn off.Some of them don’t let their women cook or sleep with them on the same bed. For some women they feel a sense of shame and are very secretive about their periods. Loving a woman means loving her warts and all and distancing yourself from her because she is in her period.

Money can be a touchy subject for couples dating. Our culture vests the responsibility of spending on the man. As we become more modern, has this expectation changed? Do Naija boyfriends have financial expectations of their girlfriends? Listen to our banter and let me know what your views are.