The Dark Ages: Rome has fallen, the Church won't shut the fuck up, there's a killer plague for every season, and everyone else is dying of BOREDOM.

Right? WRONG.

Western Europe may have been a shitshow for much of what we ridiculously call the "Dark Ages," but the rest of the world had its act together.

Specifically: Baghdad around the 800s AD. At the height of the Golden Age of Islam. They had libraries, they had mathematics, and...they had lesbian sex scientists.

This week we’re taking a tantalizing dip into the Golden Age of Islam to uncover a treasure trove archive of lesbionic women from medieval Arabia.

Muslim philosophers and physicians had actual words for lesbians (or lesbian-like women), entire books about famous lesbian couples, and specific manuals that explained how to vigorously rub one out with your beloved.

From labia gas to celery-and-rocket shakes, the science was...shaky, at best. But the spirit of inquiry was strong, and the genuine respect for lesbian love profound.

Tune in to explore:

• Why doctors thought the only sensible treatment for lesbianism was – get this! – lesbian sex
• A 13th-century Kama Sutra-style manual that coined the “saffron massage” (and came with a guide to lesbian sound effects)
• The interfaith power couple Hind Bint al-Nu'man and al-Zarqāʾ, whose legendary love story inspired queer and heterosexual writers for centuries to come
• The lost books of lesbian couples with names like Basil and Clove and Justice and Happiness (welcome, ladies, to the queer Muslim SPICE RACK)
• How medieval lesbian communities were rumoured to hold meetings and sex ed classes, because like all good homosexuals, they got organized.

🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Willow oil and saffron grinder sold separately.

📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.

Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review.

Episode Credits

Written and hosted by Bash.

Edited by Alex Toskas.

Produced by Dani Henion.

Welcome to The Hanky Code, aka Grindr for Boomers.

Following on from our cruise through history last week, we've delved deeper into the notorious handkerchief code.

The code was a form of flagging, which used different coloured bandanas to signal sexual / kink preferences.

In this bonus Quickie episode, Bash unpacks the extremely colourful history of flagging—from gay Gold Rush cowboys to scrappy leather entrepreneurs in San Francisco.

Along the way, we learn:

• How a 1923 law in New York basically criminalized the gayest activity in history (loitering)
• The surprising role of the BDSM community and their business cards in spreading the code
• Inventive twists and additions for the lesbians (white lace for Victorian kink , anyone?).
• And just how absurdly complicated it got—aka how to distinguish lemon from mustard yellow at 1AM in Central Park?

Spoiler alert: you can't.

The hanky code wasn’t just about getting off—it was about queer ingenuity, solidarity, and desire in a hostile world.

Today it may be more relic than reality, but it still reminds us of the brilliant, horny creativity of our queer elders.

We'll be back on September 4 with our next full episode on the history of Queer Georgian homemakers. So stay tuned!

Till then, enjoy this bonus episode and get ready for some exciting announcements from us when we all go back to school...

🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Fluid-stained bandanas sold separately.

📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.

Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review.

Episode Credits

Written and hosted by Bash.

Edited by Alex Toskas.

Produced by Dani Henion.

You know the feeling: when you lock eyes and the look lingers just a little too long. His hand brushes over his fly. And boom! A small smile confirms it:

You're about to be cruising, my king!

And all it took was a public park, centuries of sexual shame, and a little bit of courage to get you there...

Now it's no surprise that the elegant and much-envied act of Fucking in Public has been around for thousands of years.

But how did the "radical pastime" of modern-day cruising develop? Why did men start having sex with men in public parks and bathrooms? And why, in an allegedly sexually liberated world, do we still cruise today?

Join Bash and his guest this week, Professor Alex Espinoza, as they chart over 4,000 years of men getting it off with men. From the Roman bathhouse to Paris' first urban parks, this is a steamy, rushed romp through history designed to be enjoyed from your very own public bathroom stall.

You're welcome.

We will cover:

• Why cruising needs cities, strangers, and the thrill of getting caught to really thrive

• The ancient rules of cruising the Roman bathhouse

• How policing and persecution actually helped cruising thrive, creating the modern "homosexual"

• Cruising as class-conscious RESISTANCE
• The rise of cottaging in London's public bathrooms
• Al Pacino's absurdly terrible 1980 film Cruising
• Whether the eroticism of "looking" can survive Grindr's Era of Headless Torsos

🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Grindr Unlimited subscription sold separately.

📚 Grab a copy of Alex's book ⁠⁠Cruising: An Intimate History of a Radical Pastime⁠ on Bookshop.org (NEVER Amazon!)

📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.

Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review.

Episode Credits

Written and hosted by Bash.

Guest: Alex Espinoza.

Edited by Alex Toskas.

Produced by Dani Henion.

He fiddled while Rome burned. He married two men. He may even have kicked his pregnant wife to death.

But he ALSO  invented animal pelt kink, so could he have been THAT BAD?!

This week, Bash is joined by classicist and queer historian, Professor Andrew Lear, to discuss the scandalous, salacious, and slanderous life of Emperor Nero — Ancient Rome’s most notorious bisexual bad boy.

From castrating (and marrying) his wife’s male doppelgänger to "mauling" strangers’ crotches in animal pelts, the stories about Nero are a masterclass in ancient PR. But why did so many historians vilify Nero in this intensely OTT way?

Join us as we explore the answer to this question and many more, such as:

• How did Nero’s mother orchestrate his rise to power – and DID he murder her via collapsible boat?

• Did Nero really get gay married? Twice?!

• What did Roman “homosexuality” actually look like at the time — and why was being a bottom “not the Roman thing to do” (IYKYK)?

Along the way, we’ll learn why the real scandal for the raunchy Romans wasn’t so much Nero’s queer behaviour, but his dangerous subversion of class and gender hierarchy.

Plus: Justice For Roman Bottoms (my new charity), ancient pegging theories, and a verdict on the real question on everyone’s lips for the past two thousand years:

Was Nero a monster… or the "Elvis Presley Emperor" of the 1st century AD?

🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Roman villa sold separately.

📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.

Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review.

Episode Credits

Written and hosted by Bash.

Guest: Andrew Lear.

Edited by Alex Toskas.

Produced by Dani Henion.

🏴‍☠️ Before there was BRAT, there were Butt Pirates. 🏴‍☠️

This week we're hoisting our slutty sails – that's what I call my underpants – to plunder the treacherous homosexual deep, with pirate historian and author Dr. Rebecca Simon (Pirate Queens; The Pirate’s Code) to answer the age-old question:

Why are men on a ship always kinda gay?

First of all, when we say "pirate," we mean the real 17th- and 18th-century swashbucklers who sailed the high seas. This is not Johnny Depp in eyeliner, but actual rum-soaked, textile-stealing anarcho-queers of the Caribbean.

Join us as we dive into the Golden Age of Piracy (c.1650–1730), and reveal the surprising egalitarianism of pirate society (it was pretty democratic and they had health insurance!) and its complex manifestations of queer desire — from situational sodomy to full-on civil unions (bonjour, matelotage 👬).

We also discuss:

• The difference between freelance pirates and government-backed privateers
• How pirate ships fucked up the burgeoning capitalism (and monopolistic tendencies) of 17th century imperial powers
• Their extraordinarily lush accessories budget
• How to board and charge a ship naked
• The 1720s pirate Anne Bonny's discovery that her crush “Mark” was actually a "Mary"
• The romance of John Swan and Robert Culliford: gay historical roommates... who were, tragically, actually roommates
• And, finally, a story about a French colony that proves the bonds of sodomy may be stronger than the bonds of (straight) marriage

🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Parrot and peg leg sold separately.

📚 Grab a copy of Rebecca's book ⁠The Pirate Queens at our shop on Bookshop.org

📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.

Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review.

Episode Credits

Written and hosted by Bash.

Guest: Rebecca Simon.

Edited by Alex Toskas.

Produced by Dani Henion.

Leonardo da Vinci? More like Leonardo da Fist Me.

We've all heard of the man behind the Mona Lisa. But did you know he was also one of Florence's sodomitical sweethearts?

In this episode, we pull back the vajazzled curtain on Leonardo da Vinci to reveal a homo neither tormented nor repressed, suffering dramatically for his art, but a messy, charismatic, and brilliant dilettante obsessed with the world.

More than anything, Leonardo cared about curiosity. He was fascinated more by the world than his paychecks, which got him into trouble more often than his penchant for very handsome twinks – ahem, sorry, apprentices.*

Join Bash and Renaissance historian Catherine Fletcher as they answer all the big questions:

Was Leonardo gay? Does it matter? Did it affect his fantastically innovative artwork? Did he think outside the box? And whose box did he eat?

We'll also give you a taste of what it was like to be horny, humping Leo in 1470s Florence, dashing across the Ponte Vecchio from paint job to blow job in an Italian minute (aka seventeen hours).

We'll cover:

• Leonardo’s arrest at age 24 for...sodomy
• How the city responded to its "epidemic" of...sodomy
• Leonardo’s lifelong entanglement with his apprentice/lover/twink-goblin, Salai
• The saga of Michelangelo vs. Leonardo, who were briefly Florence's duelling divas of the day
• Why Leonardo’s refusal to care — about his sexuality or finishing any of his damn paintings — is actually the gayest and most important thing about him

If you’ve ever wanted a crash course in the gayest corners of the Italian Renaissance — or just an excuse to say “I heard you're into the Florentine vice” out loud — this is the episode for you.

🎧 Listen now on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠, or wherever you pod. Espresso and slutty breeches sold separately.

📚 Grab a copy of Catherine's book The Beauty and The Terror: An Alternative History of the Italian Renaissance.

📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.

Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review.

Episode Credits

Written and hosted by Bash.

Guest: Catherine Fletcher.

Edited by Alex Toskas.

Produced by Dani Henion.

Hot, rich, European, emotionally unavailable... sound familiar?

It's your Hinge profile all over again.

No, silly, it's vampires!

We are thrilled to welcome back folklorist and queer historian, Sacha Coward (author of Queer as Folklore) this week, as we trace the gloriously queer history of vampires—from ancient blood-sucking demons to modern brooding bisexuals.

Drape your capes and get ready to dive into:

• Lilith, the original bad girl who got kicked out of Eden for not sleeping with Adam.
• The juicy backstory of Lord Byron, a chaotic bisexual whose life inspired the first mean, cold, sexy vampires
• Carmilla, the 19th-century vampire lesbian who walked so Pam and Tara inTrue Blood could one day suck
• How Hollywood turned queer people into monsters so they could portray them onscreen
• Why vampires got hotter, more leathery, and more counterculture in the aftermath of the AIDS epidemic

Plus, how vampires got from Dracula terror to Twilight trysting, from cursed to cool, from monsters of the fringe to main characters with fangbanging stans.

As Sacha eloquently puts it:

"Vampire here. Vampire not going anywhere." (Direct quote)

🩸 Whether you’re a Lilith stan, a Buffy devotee, or just into emotionally repressed men with centuries of baggage–*raises hand violently*–this one’s for you.

🎧 Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your blood.

📚 And grab Sacha Coward’s book Queer as Folklore in sexy new paperback form—wherever fine, gay books are sold.

You can follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and you should ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people at all.

And if you like what you hear, please do leave us a (FIVE STAR ONLY) review. Praise, not blood, is what Bash feeds on.

Episode Credits

Written and hosted by Bash.

Guest: Sacha Coward.

Edited by Alex Toskas.

Produced by Dani Henion.

Heads up! This is the episode where we solve gender.

Famously a "construct," it turns out Mx. Gender has been around for hundreds of thousands of years.

This podcast is only 70 minutes long so we're sticking to the last 5,000... but still. Not bad.

Join Bash and his honoured guests this week – Kit Heyam and Marty Davies – as they delve into the deep-cut history of gender, long before we had words like cis, trans, or nonbinary.

Kit Heyam is the author and historian behind Before We Were Trans, our guiding text for this episode. And Marty Davies is the founder of Trans+ History Week, an award-winning initiative now in its third year in the UK.

You might think – like Bash did for an embarrassingly long time – that gender and sex binaries have been the norm since the beginning of time.

Everyone has "male" and "female" right? Husband and wife, penetrator and pregnancy-haver. And that's that.

That's actually wrong. It's waaaay messier than that. As long as there have been humans, there has been what Kit Heyam calls "gender disruption."

This essentially experimental and creative approach to gender is in fact the norm – the one thing we find in almost every civilisation.

As if that weren't enough, here are some other essential things you'll learn about in this episode:

• Ancient Egypt's female pharaohs, who insisted on wearing their beards
• (Plus, why their high priests didn't like gender creativity – spoiler alert: it fucked with their revenues!)
• A 17th century stand up comic who once wore trousers in St. Paul's Cathedral (WITCH!!!!! KILL IT!!!!!)
• The elegant and silk-draped wakashu, who were a third-gender class of adolescent sex workers in early modern Tokyo
• And the truth of why writing trans+ history is so fucking hard but so necessary.

As always thanks for listening, and if you love what you hear, please leave us a FIVE STAR ONLY review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

You can follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and you should ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people at all.

You can also listen to the QueerAF podcast on Apple, Spotify or your fave podcast app, including all the episodes that came out this season with Trans+ History Week.

And subscribe to QueerAF's free newsletter to understand the LGBTQIA+ world every Saturday, or find them on Instagram and Bluesky.

Episode Credits:

Written, researched, and hosted by Bash. Special thanks to guests Kit Heyam and Marty Davies. Edited by Alex Toskas and Jamie Wareham.

A QueerAF and Historical Homos Production.

She was young, she was hot, and she was hated. But did she eat pu$$y?

Marie Antoinette was many things: a teen bride, a fashion icon, and according to Sofia Coppola, a big fan of The Strokes (I knew I liked this bitch!)

She's famous nowadays for losing her head, but did she also give it? And to whom / with what degree of relish?

In this week’s episode, Bash is joined by bestselling author and royal dirt-digger Eleanor Herman (Sex with Kings, Off With Her Head) to untangle the messy myth and misogyny surrounding France’s last queen.

From bedroom rumors to an actual revolution, we trace how Marie’s alleged lesbian love affairs and slutty reputation helped take down the French monarchy.

But how much of a labial libertine was dear old Marie?

Did she really let they/them eat cake, or did she prefer to have hers eaten?

And why did the revolutionaries care so much about who she was (or wasn’t) shtupping?

Get ready to cover:

👑 Marie’s teenage trauma: a 14-year-old Austrian girl dropped into horny French court politics

👑 Her disastrous marriage to Louis XVI, France’s least sexy locksmith

👑 Count Axel von Fersen: the hot Swede who became her baby daddy and was the only man in France who loved her

👑 The lesbian propaganda: 18th-century porn pamphlets and political smear campaigns that took Marie down

👑 Marie’s tragic downfall—and why she still makes us feel some kind of way about money, sex, fashion, and power

Plus: masquerade balls (aka cruising for cis-hets), Versailles orgies with her stepbrother, and the story of how Marie Antoinette's lesbian reputation became a 19th century pickup line for aspiring sapphics.

You can find out more about women in power by reading Eleanor Herman's books at her website.

Please also follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and you should ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people at all.

Episode Credits

Written and hosted by Bash.

Guest: Eleanor Herman

Edited by Alex Toskas.

Produced by Dani Henion.

Once upon a time—aka the 90s, when I bravely decided to be born—gay marriage was the only thing we queers could talk about.

But why? Why were we so hell-bent on getting married? And how did the fight for marriage equality impact real people on the ground?

In this episode, Bash is joined by writer and memoirist Jeremy Atherton Lin, author of Deep House: The Gayest Love Story Ever Told, to explore the long, messy, and horny history of gay marriage in America—from deportation threats in the 1950s to a rainbow-lit White House under Obama.

Along the way, we ask:

💍 Who decides what a marriage is? Who gets to say who/what you are?

🏳️‍🌈 What happens when a bi(coastal) relationship collides with the full force of the U.S. immigration system?

🐴 Is a man marrying a man the same as a man marrying a horse? (The question, historically, was asked.)

Also featuring:

– Clive Boutilier, the Canadian gay man deported for being a “psychopath” (1950s medical slang for "gay")

– A 1996 government letter from the Department of Justice that literally said to two gays: “A legal marriage cannot exist between two faggots.”

– Bill Clinton wriggling out from under the S&M grip of DOMA

– And one very filthy reading from our beloved guest...

Not to mention this very real quote:

🗣️ “Ordinarily a homo is psycho, but many are not.” — actual Supreme Court justice, 1967

You can follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and you should ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people at all.

Episode Credits

Written and hosted by Bash.

Guest: Jeremy Atherton Lin

Edited by Alex Toskas.

Produced by Dani Henion.