Is it possible to literally die of relief? It went down to the wire, but Tottenham Hotspur are - somehow - still a premier league club. God bless Kevin Danso, Toni Kinsky, and the fans of this beautiful, absurd football club, who never gave up 💙, and may Satan find a place in hell for the celebration police and for whichever official “accidentally” had some trouble with their headset.

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Here we are then. Potentially our last podcast in the premier league. One more game. One more point. Help us to believe.
Spurs Women did what they needed to do, and more, with a final day victory at Brighton including a Toko Koga golazo that reminded us of how beautiful football - and even Tottenham - can be.
See you on the other side. Lord have mercy on us all.

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The JUSTICE FOR MATHYS agenda gets a boost, then takes a hit. Billie and Lauren do their very best to talk Rosa off a ledge, and almost succeed. Madders is back and has already done more for the club in 24 hours than nearly everyone else combined. But WHAT will it take to get a win at this cursed stadium??? We celebrate Spurs Women’s end of the season awards, while looking askance at their increasingly surreal comms strategy. One day without chaos. Will never happen.

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Was the hero we needed…everyone? Ash, Lauren and Rosa discuss not just another win, but an actually impressive performance from a team playing actual football. (And thank you for your service, Unai.) We also bid a sad and unwanted farewell to our captain, leader, legend Bethany England. Martin, your plans had better work.

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We did it! We won a game of league football in 2026! But at what cost? Three points better off but two (more) players down as the psychological torture that is the 2025/26 season continues. The women stopped the rot at the stadium as our faith in Martin is restored (pending information about Beth England’s future). Plus! Billie and Lauren saw the Michael Jackson movie and they, like everyone else, have THOUGHTS.

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Signs of life, or a reanimated corpse? Lauren and Rosa try to process the trauma of having that longed-for win (and the joy of THAT Xavi goal) snatched from them at, not coincidentally, the death. Walk with us as we descend ever deeper into the bowels of hell. If a miracle is coming to save us, please let it be soon.

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So…that’s probably that, then? Bye and thanks for nothing, Tottenham Hotspur.

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It’s official: Roberto De Zerbi is the new Tottenham manager, and we’ll just have to make the best of it. Alas, we also need that energy for Spurs Women after their FA Cup exit at Chelsea. We’ll beat them one day. Probably. Surely?? At least Lauren and Rosa can celebrate watching the same show at the same time now that The Pitt is finally - FINALLY - on British telly. We take the wins wherever we can find them.

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More managers than home league wins. It’s the end of the Tudor era - but is it the beginning of a new reign of terror? Ash, Lauren and Rosa get into it about Roberto De Zerbi - all of it. Elsewhere, another miserable away NLD for the women and a bad moment for Martin Ho. At least Ash and Lauren might have Jamaica to cheer on in the World Cup? 🙏

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The week that Tottenham fans showed up…but no one else did. The HG crew rank their levels of existential despair after that terrible performance, and wonder where we go from here. Are they really going to hire someone called ADOLF - or someone even worse? Spurs Women offer a glimmer of hope after their latest Bunny Shaw ordeal with the genuine thrill of a new Olivia Holdt contract. Plus! Find out where we all stand on the biggest issue of the day: Jorginho vs Chappell Roan.

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