Horrible Horror Podcast

You opened the box and we came! Oh what sights we have to show you this week as we take on Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. Just like the puzzle box this movie looks good on the outside with its awesome special effects and great gore make-up but the more you open it the weirder and more confusing it gets and before you know it you're stick in a hell of confusing plots and nonsense. But hey it still looks good.

Beer, babes, weed, cannibals, and rivers. Pack up the coolers with ice and beer because we're going on a little float trip this week and taking on "Float Trip". This little slasher is like a shorter indie mash up of "Wrong Turn" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and features some pretty decent special effects, kills and one of the best scenes we've seen in a movie in long time. But at the end of the trip will this bloody movie make down the river in one piece or will it sink to the bottom and become lost under the waves?

We are frozen and on the verge of a rage age, what a waste of an American horror movie. Good God, Moongoons, this week's horror musical nearly caused Aaron to quit the show, it's that bad. Written and directed by Private Pile and the Kingpin himself Vincent D'Onofrio, this horror musical which is about 80% crappy music and 20% horror and features an obvious yet somehow incredibly confusing ending turned out to be one of the biggest disappointments we've ever had on the show.

Drag queens, drugs, Unicorns, and fisting Oh My! In this fierce episode we deliver you the "T" about the gay indie slasher "Killer Unicorn". Put on your wigs and get out the tuck tape and follow along as a group of obnoxious and annoying gay guys and drag queens get stalked and killed by a muscle and fitness model wearing bright pink sequined booty shorts and a unicorn mask.  What ever you do DON'T forget the lube!

Summer is here and that means its time to break out the sun screen, swim suits, and inflatable rafts. This week we're cannonballing into the deep end of the sh!t pool to take on Jason Takes the Waterpark...I mean "Aquaslash". This Canadian indie movie starts out as a fun thrill ride down an awesome water slide but quickly turns into a boring drift down a piss filled lazy river. This short 70 something minute long movie is filled with dozens of delinquent high school graduate characters that you just don't really care about, so much drug use that it would even make Scarface cringe, infidelity, and long slow build up to a climax that gets over used and old real fast. What we wanted was great fun thrill-filled water park slasher but what we ended up getting was a boring kiddie splash pad.

A movie that gives new meaning to the term killer fashion! We watched "Slaxx" an indie movie about a possessed pair of killer blue jeans. With a premise like that how can you go wrong? What we were expecting was a campy crap fest but what we got was a shockingly well made, serious and bloody solid movie. Filled with good practical and special effects, pretty solid acting with two really good performances, good kills lots of blood and not to subtle messages about capitalism and the fashion industry, this movie is well worth trying on.

Tuxes, Dresses, Limos, spiked punch and broken condoms, it's Prom season again so that means it's time for another Prom themed horror movie. This week our date is the 2017 "Party Night". This indie slasher rides the line between not being terrible and not being very rememberable or very good, leaving it in the dreaded pit of forgeability.  The acting isn't that bad but its not good, the writing and plot are both straight from the horror movie 101 mold but on the plus side the kills and special effects are fairly decent with some uniqueness. However, one of its biggest flaws is that its supposed to be a Prom movie but there's no F*CKING PROM! But at the end of the night will "Party Night" be standing tall on stage as Prom Queen or will it be sitting alone crying on the bleachers? Listen in and find out.

Are you ready? No, I said ARE YOU READYYYYYYY!!! Finally...it's Wrestlemania time again and in honor of this most sacred holiday we're delivering on to you Ep.222 "Wrestlemassacre". This indie movie is crammed full of all the headlocks, elbow drops, body slams, and back breakers you crave. Staring a plethora of former wrestlers, several of which are WWE Hall of Famers and featuring some of the best gore and special effects we've ever seen in a low budget movie, and plenty of boobs and nudity to go around, "Wrestlemassacre" powerbombed our minds through a table. Now can you dig that, SUCKA? WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Hip-pity hop-pity Moongoons, here comes the Easter Bunny hiding eggs and chopping off heads. I know on Easter people like to say "he is risen" but after watching this week's Easter movie "The Night Before Easter" the only thing risen is our blood pressure. This ultra-indie slasher features no redeeming qualities, bad stiff acting, terrible writing, horrible gore make-up effects, and characters devoid of any real personalities are all present here. The only thing we can say that his movie has going for it is the girl's are for the most part average to above average on the cuteness scale and that he movie is only a rabbit's hair longer than an hour. With that said when watching this movie it some how manages to break the space time continuum making an hour feel like an eternity.

Grab your combat knife, Beretta 9mm, and all the green herbs you can carry because this week we're celebrating the 25th anniversary of "Resident Evil". We're sitting down and watching the 2002 film adaptation of our favorite video game franchise, the film that took something so new and dear to us and took a giant steaming Tyrant turd all over it.