Horror Movie Talk

Watch as Bryce and Max jump at the opportunity to talk about their missions as Sydney and Jordyn look on with glazed eyes.

Two naive Mormon missionaries, sister Barnes and sisterPaxton knock on the door of Mr. Reed, a lead that expressed interest in learning about the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. Mr. Reed, played by High Grant, is charming and warm to the ladies, but begins directly challenging their beliefs. As the Sisters get more and more uncomfortable they discover that they have been trapped inside the house and are given the monty hall choice of exiting through the door marked belief or the one marked disbelief.

I can recognize this as not a fantastic movie, however, I was thoroughly entertained for my own reasons. Having served a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints, I was pumped to see a Hollywood movie premise around the experience, which is very unique. Most of my enjoyment was from picking apart what they got wrong and what they got right, so your mileage will vary.

That being said, it’s a unique premise, and the themes of religion, belief, and doubt are rarely given this much thought and analysis in a horror movie. 

I thought the performances were great. I love Hugh Grant as a character actor more than as a romantic lead. He is properly menacing as a spider entrapping these women in his web. The female leads both did very well, especially Sophie Thatcher portraying the awkward earnest humor of a Mormon Missionary.

The writing and pacing is very inconsistent. Some stretches of exposition dumps come off as heavy handed and preachy. There were some character inconsistencies, and I’m sure there are plenty of plot holes to fill.

The first act is definitely the best, and most of it you see in the trailer. The dread and terror as the Sisters slowly realize that they are in real danger and try to navigate politely out of the situation is really spot on.

6/10

Possum is about a disgraced puppeteer named Philip who is fired from his job after an unknown workplace incident and returns to his childhood home to destroy his puppet and face his past. While Philip wanders around his old town trying to make sense of his traumatic past, a local schoolboy goes missing. Philips’s uncle Maurice lives a lifestyle of squaller and filth as a squatter in Philips’s old home, and the two have a lovely and passionate reunion. Uh just kidding Philip hates Maurice, and the two have many strained and uncomfortable conversations over the course of the movie. Philip attempts multiple times to rid himself of his creepy puppet who he calls possum, and learns more about his past along the way.

Possum is a very slow burn with minimal dialogue and odd acting styles. The actor playing the main character, Philip, looks like he has no idea how to stand like a normal human being, and I love that. The movie is low-budget, and it definitely shows. The whole thing was basically just filming a man running around with a puppet. Not much happens for the majority of the movie, and sometimes it feels like you are watching pretty much nothing. But, there are layers to this film. It is all about running from your trauma, and how you can’t escape it unless you face it. The puppet is creepy, the house is disgusting, Maurice is disgusting-er, and I was left with a rotten and hollow feeling after watching this movie.

Score

7/10

Oz Perkins’s debut feature film follows two girls, Kat and Rose, who attend a Catholic boarding school in upstate New York. When both of their parents fail to pick them up for February break, Rose is put in charge of taking care of Kat. We also follow an older girl named Joan, who seems as if she has escaped a psych ward and is on the run, when she meets a respectful couple who offer to take her to where she needs to go. Kat believes her parents have died and they are no longer going to pick her up, while Rose struggles with the possibility of being pregnant and does not look after Kat like she was supposed to. Suspicions about Kat’s late night unsupervised hijinx and Joan’s motivations for traveling rise as the mysteries unfold to the viewer’s unsuspecting but curious eyes.

I love this film. This is either the third or fourth time I’ve watched it and I always forget how it ends. The mystery of all of the characters and their motivations is intriguing and special. Right off the bat with the scary dream sequence as the first scene of this film, I was hooked. The vibe is foreboding, horrifying, creepy, just all around a feeling of dread through the entire 95 minute runtime. It is tight, it is full of suspense and grief, and it is a genius way to tell the story like writer director Oz Perkins does. There is honestly nothing wrong with this film in my eyes, it is fully perfect. It is horrible, but you feel for each of the characters. You want to dive into their brains and Perkins does a good job at letting you know their feelings and motivations at every stop. The twist near the end is damn near perfect. I will always love this movie. Better than Longlegs in my opinion.

10/10

The smile virus/demon from Smile is back and is tormenting a young pop star named Skye Riley. Skye is a recovering addict attempting to relaunch her career with a world tour. While visiting her former dealer to score some pain killers for a back injury, she witnesses him commit suicide in front of her and infect her with some kind of ancient evil. Adding to the pressures of fame, rehearsals, and recovery; she is beset by hallucinations of people with creepy smiles out to get her.

This smile demon concept is like the lovechild of The Evil Dead and It Follows, and frankly, I’m a fan. This film was artistically made, delved deep into themes of trauma and mental health in a unique and terrifying way. I couldn’t help but think of the public mental breakdowns of celebrities like Brittany Spears while watching this movie. It really gives perspective into the pressures of a job where hundreds of people are relying on you to perform. That and the inherent creepiness of parasocial relationships with fans that are obsessed with you. It made it hard to tell where the demon ended and where this pop star’s surreal reality began. 

I thought Naomi Scott was great to watch as Skye. She has very expressive eyes and portrayed the terror and helplessness of her situation very well. Parker Finn, the writer/director of this and the previous film is a talent to watch. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with outside of this franchise.

9/10

Score 8/10

A woman called Darling is hired to house sit at a fancy, old, big haunted house in the middle of New York City. As she spends her days alone, she figures out the house’s ghostly past and slowly succumbs to the madness of the house’s, and her own, lore.

I first watched this movie back in high school and thought it was the epitome of slow burn, creepy, woman-goes-insane horror films. As I have a lot more horror movie experience now (and film experience in general), I realize that this is basically a rip off of Repulsion (1965). This isn’t to say it’s a bad movie by any means; the many jump cuts and jump scares keep you on your toes (it could be argued that there are too many of these quick scenes), and there is an overall eerie feeling that is hard to shake once you finish. But, it’s not the best movie of a woman going insane. There are plenty of those, horror or not, that execute the trope a lot better than this one did. The first act is boring as all hell but the second and third ramp up the action just a little bit, and the main actress Lauren Ashely Carter is a very good Kristen Stewart type. Contrary to how I sound, I do enjoy this film, just not as much as I did when I was 16.

6/10

The Devil’s Rejects is about three people that embody what Democrats imagine Trump voters to be. In this sequel to House of 1000 Corpses, the Firefly family are on the run from the law. Along the way, they wantonly murder and torture innocent victims for their enjoyment. And that’s pretty much it really. No themes are explored. No lessons are learned. It’s mostly just everyone yelling “fuck you” to each other for an hour and 46 mins.

Is it “good”? No. It’s not good, But I will say it’s about 50% better than House of 1000 Corpses. It has a higher budget, is more artistically shot, and has a few ok moments in it. However, like House, this is really a big bag of nothing. It’s just like watching pigs wallow in the mire. Instead of pigs, it’s annoying and psychotic white trash, and instead of a mire, it’s gore and swearing. I tapped into my Mormon brain while watching this, and thought to myself, they are so disrespectful.

It literally took me 5 hours to get through between the forced ad breaks, and my self imposed breaks. It’s just a slog and doesn’t really have any redeeming artistic merit to justify itself. Anything really interesting is stolen from another movie that did it better.

Why Patrons do you do this to us? Why? 

3/10

The Substance follows Elisabeth Sparkle, a big time celebrity host of an 80s workout tv show, who turns 50 years old and gets sacked in pursuit of someone younger and “hotter” to host the show. After getting in a car crash, she meets a mysterious stranger who tells her about the substance, which can create a younger, more beautiful, better version of yourself. Lizzie decides to go through with this, and the results change the rest of her life forever.

This movie is a doozy. It’s fun and stylistic and seemingly poses an important question about misogyny in Hollywood, women not being allowed to age, the emphasis on beauty no matter how painful, etc, but the commentary falls flat. In Coralie Fargeat’s first film, Revenge, I noticed a very similar occurrence. There is potential in The Substance for important discussions, but it turns into an extremist monster-esque chaotic clusterfuck instead of really giving us some answers, or at least worthwhile commentary. The film is more concerned about style than substance (which is ironic because of the name) and I think that works in its favor in certain areas, and works against it in others. Overall it is interesting, definitely a new trope and the setup is promising, there are some incredible shots and set dressings and the color scheme is captivating. Demi Moore gives an all time performance. There are some really great scenes but ultimately the execution of this film and its message or lack thereof is not where I’d want it to be or expect it to be.

6/10

While on vacation, or holiday as the British say, the American expat Dalton family meet another family of three headed by Paddy (James McAvoy). After they return to their flat in London, they receive a postcard from Paddy inviting them to spend a long weekend with their family at their farm in the Western countryside of Britain. Initially hesitant, since they barely know each other, the Daltons decide to go. As the weekend progresses, Paddy’s jovial irreverent demeanor reveals a more overbearing and nefarious personality underneath. By the time they find out how much danger they are in, it’s too late, and the Daltons fight to escape. If you think that that synopsis is too spoilery, you should see the trailer!

As many of you know, this is a remake of a Danish film of the same name that only came out two years ago. I was the only one here that hasn’t seen it before my viewing, so my experience with it is different from Max and Sydney. I think it gives my review less of a bias.

I think this movie is really good. On it’s own it is a very compelling thriller that is well crafted and acted. James McAvoy really shines as Paddy, and perfectly strikes the tone of an overbearing line pusher with a barely contained rage underneath.

Scoot McNairy and Mackenzie Davis playing ben and Louise act as the perfect foil to Paddy and each others characters. 

I found the set up and character development throughout the film to be rich and interesting, and it made the awkward and disturbing situations more interesting because it felt very real.

The fans of the original will have a real beef with the ending, which is way more Hollywood and safe for a thriller, but for me it still works great.

8/10

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice picks up thirty years after the events of the first film, with Delia Deetz being a famous artist, Lydia having her own ghost adventures type show, and her daughter Astrid being a goth angsty teen. The Deetz family has to deal with the sudden loss of the paternal figure in their lives while also grappling with their own individual battles. When Astrid, played by Jenna Ortega, gets stuck in the afterlife and Beetlejuice’s ex wife Delores, played by Monica Belluci, starts stalking him, Lydia makes another glorious deal with Beetlejuice to save her daughter and get Monica Belluci off Beetlejuice’s back. Chaos ensues.

As I’ve said many times, I am not a big fan of sequels. I was not very excited to see this, since it is a sequel so many years after the first I figured it was another cash grab. That very well might be true, but I unexpectedly had a really fun time watching this. Michael Keaton soars as the titular character once again, and with this star studded cast, it is almost a perfect comedy. Catherine O’Hara remains one of the funniest women who has ever set foot on screen, and the welcome additions of Willem Dafoe and Justin Theroux also put in the work to get some laughs. A few complaints are that I think I liked the practical effects and primitive CGI in the first movie a lot better than I liked the new CGI stuff in this one. It looked corny and even though this movie isn’t geared towards kids, the sandworm looked like something out of a Nick Jr. tv show. Also, there were a lot of moving parts that could have been cut down to one A and one B plot. All in all it is a very fun, new take on the Beetlejuice universe, and I loved it. 

8/10