HOW I SEE IT

#160: On this episode of HOW I SEE IT, Han sits down with content creator, podcast host, and YouTuber Taylor King for a conversation about what it actually looks like to build confidence, bet on yourself, and create a life that feels aligned, through your career, your relationships, your community, and the way you show up for yourself.

Taylor and Han talk about why confidence is built through keeping promises to yourself, and why sometimes hearing “no” just means finding another way forward. They get into embracing discomfort, taking risks without making failure feel so high-stakes, and learning to trust that you’ll figure things out along the way.

The girls also unpack the nuance between self-acceptance and self-improvement—especially when it comes to body image, beauty, and taking agency over the things that are actually within your control. Taylor shares her experience struggling to post herself online.

They also talk about the relationships that have shaped Taylor’s career, why so many opportunities come from simply being someone people trust and feel seen by. Taylor, also, opens up about building a life she loved before finding her relationship.

The girls get into:

• Building confidence by keeping promises to yourself
• Betting on yourself even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed
• Why hearing “no” doesn’t have to mean you’re on the wrong path
• Taking action instead of spiraling when something doesn’t work out
• Why discomfort is necessary for growth
• Self-acceptance vs. self-improvement
• Body image, beauty, and taking agency over how you want to look and feel
• Separating your appearance from your self-worth
• Building a career through genuine relationships and connection

• Building the community you want by showing up for other people
• Creating a full life before finding a relationship
• Wanting a partner without centering your entire life around one

• Influencer icks, relationship hard launches, and what should stay offline

& MORE

This episode is for anyone who needs a confidence boost, wants to feel inspired to go after their goals, is looking to build stronger community and relationships, is learning how to bet on themselves, or just feels uninspired to bet on themselves.

CONNECT BELOW:

Follow TK ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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#159: On today’s episode, Han jumps on for a SOLO episode all about discipline: how to build success, why discipline is a skill you can actually develop, and how staying present can completely change the way you view discipline as you approach personal growth, success, and your mental health.

Han gets into one of the questions she gets asked most: how do you stay so motivated? The truth is, she doesn’t. Motivation comes and goes. But when motivation falters, discipline is something you can learn to rely on.

She breaks down why she doesn’t believe disciplined people are simply born that way, why discipline is a skill that can be strengthened and flexed over time, and why so much of building discipline comes down to staying present and learning to keep promises to yourself.

Han gets into:

• Why discipline matters more than motivation

• How discipline can actually be developed and strengthened over time

• Why consistency often matters more than talent, intelligence, or qualification

• Building confidence and self-trust by keeping small promises to yourself

• Why the promises you make to yourself don’t need to be massive to create meaningful change

• Creating consistency through small, low-stakes daily actions

• Why staying present is one of the most important parts of becoming disciplined

• How constantly thinking about where you “should” be can make it harder to take action

• The pressure to be more successful, make more money, feel more healed, or be further along than you are

• Why obsessing over the end goal can actually work against your personal growth

• How to know where you’re going without thinking about the destination every single day

• Focusing on what actually moves the needle forward today

• How small, consistent actions compound over time

• Adjusting your expectations of what the journey toward success is supposed to look and feel like

• Learning to trust yourself and the process even when you can’t see immediate results

• Small ways that Han stays disciplined in her mental health and wellnesss routines

& MORE!

This episode is for anyone who is struggling to stay consistent, who's procrastinating on taking action, or feeling overwhelmed by how far they still have to go. If you’re working toward becoming more successful, mentally well, confident, disciplined, or simply becoming someone you can rely on, this episode is a reminder to know where you’re going, come back to today, and trust that what you do consistently will compound over time.

CONNECT with HAN:

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follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠

watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠

shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

work with Han: [email protected]

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 — Discipline, Success & Staying Present
00:30 — Welcome Back / Feeling Better
01:45 — Why I’m Talking About Discipline
02:13 — Motivation vs. Discipline
03:15 — Discipline Is a Skill You Can Develop
03:35 — Why Consistent Action Creates Success
04:15 — Building Confidence by Keeping Small Promises
04:43 — Why Success Requires Staying Present
05:53 — Stop Living in the “Helicopter View”
06:11 — Why Obsessing Over the End Goal Makes Discipline Harder
07:20 — Daily Action & the Compound Effect
08:07 — Changing Your Expectations of the Journey
09:26 — Starting Before You Have Everything Figured Out
09:46 — Procrastination, Overthinking & Getting Stuck in the Big Picture
11:46 — How I Build Discipline in Business
12:44 — Structure, Scheduling & Staying Organized
13:55 — The Daily To-Do List & Keeping Promises to Yourself
17:04 — Discipline in Mental Health & Therapy
18:03 — Discipline With Fitness & Physical Health
19:37 — Supplements, Skincare & Everyday Commitments
21:40 — The Compound Effect Beyond Money
22:50 — Anyone Can Build Discipline
24:26 — The Real Key: Showing Up for Yourself
24:40 — Why Success Is in the Journey, Not the End Goal
25:00 — Applying Discipline to Healing, Happiness & Being Present
25:31 — Final Thoughts
26:01 — Outro

#158: On today’s episode, Han sits down with MJ Gray, content creator and host of the Maneater podcast, as she shares her personal healing journey: discovering the power of her mind and learning how to reprogram the beliefs that had shaped her life.

After years of trying to get sober, and living through what she describes as a continuous dark night of the soul, MJ realized sobriety would require more than willpower. MJ and Han unpack manifestation, addiction, childhood trauma, people pleasing, self-love, accountability, decentering men, and why accepting the discomfort of life may be the key to finally finding peace.

The girls get into:

• the power of your mind and reprogramming deeply rooted beliefs and childhood conditioning

• Why changing your life can initially feel irrational or delusional
• How addiction and unhealthy coping mechanisms can change forms

• MJ’s spiritual awakening and relationship with manifestation
• Using meditation and mindset to create a different reality

• How the expectation to always be happy makes us unhappy
• Taking accountability for your healing without invalidating your trauma
• Moving beyond victimhood while maintaining compassion for yourself
• Letting go of guilt, jealousy, anger, and self-hatred
• Healing patterns created by narcissistic or emotionally unhealthy parents
• Breaking free from people pleasing and the need to be liked
• Learning to genuinely love yourself and embrace who you are

• How unresolved trauma can recreate familiar relationships

• Decentering men and creating fulfillment outside of relationships

& MORE!

This episode is for anyone navigating sobriety, childhood trauma, people pleasing, self-doubt, or a difficult mental health journey. It is for the woman learning how to reprogram negative beliefs.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00:00 — Introduction

00:05:32 — Getting existential and questioning everything

00:05:44 — How sobriety led MJ to social media

00:06:18 — The desire to feel seen and understood

00:06:48 — MJ’s sobriety journey

00:07:05 — Experiencing a continuous dark night of the soul

00:09:58 — Why addiction can change forms

00:10:26 — Coping with the discomfort of being human

00:11:17 — Why expecting constant happiness makes us unhappy

00:12:26 — Childhood trauma, victimhood, and personal accountability

00:14:33 — Falling down, trying again, and releasing guilt

00:15:07 — Why guilt can create more self-hatred

00:15:41 — MJ’s spiritual awakening after getting sober

00:16:16 — Discovering meditation and spirituality

00:16:55 — Relapse and discovering the power of the mind

00:17:28 — Applying manifestation and mindset to sobriety

00:17:44 — The day MJ quit drinking and smoking

00:18:12 — Convincing herself she no longer liked alcohol

00:19:03 — Reprogramming beliefs created by a narcissistic parent

00:20:00 — Why transforming your life can feel delusional

00:20:57 — Resetting your childhood programming

00:23:25 — Does MJ care what other people think?

00:24:10 — Why people pleasing never worked

00:24:53 — Self-love, insecurity, and genuinely liking yourself

00:25:19 — Learning to water the lawn you already have

00:25:44 — Releasing the things you cannot control

00:26:07 — Why peace has to begin within you

00:27:13 — Life gets easier to carry

00:28:56 — Where your attention goes, your energy flows

00:29:17 — Moving beyond rumination and self-pity

00:29:35 — Why traumatic patterns can feel like home

00:30:04 — Taking accountability for repeated patterns

00:34:08 — Why women need to start decentering men

00:34:47 — Creating fulfillment outside of relationships

00:35:56 — Loving men without centering them

00:36:12 — The risks women face within relationships

00:36:34 — Expecting romantic partners to add value to your life

CONNECT BELOW

Follow MJ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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CONNECT with HAN:

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work with Han: [email protected]

#157: On today’s episode, Han sits down with Isaac Hindin-Miller, a fashion journalist turned DJ, interviewer, content creator, and founder of I LIKE YOU!, for an honest conversation about external validation, low self-worth, negative self-talk, and the lifelong work of learning how to feel whole within yourself.

Isaac and Han unpack the realization that no amount of attention, achievement, access, popularity, or external approval can fill an internal void. They discuss what it actually takes to rebuild your self-esteem, interrupt destructive thought patterns, stop outsourcing your worth, and choose peace and acceptance instead of constantly chasing happiness. They get into:

• Why external approval can never create lasting self-worth
• Why happiness cannot be contingent on external validation
• Choosing acceptance and peace instead of chasing constant happiness
• Navigating imposter syndrome and self doubt
• How to interrupt cruel and destructive negative self-talk
• The problem with finding validation elsewhere
• Depression, sobriety, and breaking cycles of self-destructive behavior
• The connection between low self-esteem and unhealthy coping mechanisms
• Social media, comparison, and attaching your value to your work
• Intellectualizing trauma instead of allowing yourself to feel it
• Why understanding your emotions is different from actually feeling them
• How choosing a different behavior can lead to a healthier mindset
• Finding identity, hobbies, and joy outside of your career
• How relationships act as mirrors for the parts of ourselves that still need healing

& MORE!

This episode is for anyone who has ever looked outside of themselves for proof that they are worthy, lovable, important, or enough. This is a conversation for those doing the daily work to quiet the voices that tear you down, and learning to build a sense of self-worth that does not depend on attention, accomplishments, or validation.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:57 Isaac joins the podcast

04:25 Is the life he dreamed about everything he thought it would be?

05:21 Why reaching the top does not fill the internal void

05:40 The daily work required to feel whole

06:02 Accepting the human condition

06:13 Finding peace within the mundanity of life

06:26 Chasing happiness versus choosing acceptance

06:44 Redefining happiness as peace

07:06 Why happiness cannot be contingent on something happening

07:42 Isaac’s drive to reach the top

08:37 Experiencing bullying and rejection growing up

09:56 Building your self-worth on a foundation of sand

16:02 Growing the I LIKE YOU! parties from 800 to 3,000 people in New York City

16:33 Imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and feeling like a fraud

16:57 Feeling isolated while surrounded by crowds

17:05 The conversation with Isaac’s dad that changed his perspective

17:46 Becoming a victim to your own story

18:07 The danger of constantly thinking about yourself

18:20 Learning to interrupt negative self-talk

19:35 Accepting that the negative voices may never fully disappear

19:59 Moving toward something positive or negative

20:14 Depression and self-destructive coping mechanisms

21:20 Rebuilding self-esteem from within

21:32 The connection between mental health and low self-worth

22:47 Social media, validation, and mental health

23:55 Attaching your personal value to your business

24:42 Sobriety and learning how to feel

27:12 Intellectualizing emotions and suppressing vulnerability

27:52 Understanding yourself versus feeling your emotions

28:28 Changing your behavior to change your mindset

33:51 The importance in finding a hobby

34:53 Having the courage to redefine who you are

48:18 How relationships act as mirrors

CONNECT BELOW:

Follow Isaac here

Follow I Like You here

Read Isaac's Substack here

CONNECT with HAN:

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Work with Han: [email protected]

#156: This week, Han sits down with Jess Windell, founder of Maven PR and a public relations expert to investigate what it takes to build a foundation of self-trust through acts of courage.

Jess and Han have an honest conversation about the psychology behind confidence, courage, risk, productivity, ambition, and creating a life that feels meaningful beyond your career. Jess shares how calling off her wedding four months before it was supposed to happen became the catalyst for nearly every major decision that followed, and taught her that doing the hardest thing can open the door to an entirely different life. The girls get into:

• Why confidence is the outcome of courage
• How taking risks builds self-trust
• Calling off a wedding when nothing was “wrong,” but it still wasn’t right
• Why comfort can keep you trapped in the wrong life
• Letting go of the timeline and future you planned
• Navigating rejection, uncertainty, and unexpected changes
• Manifestation beyond material goals
• The pressure to always be productive
• Why traditional ideas of rest do not work for everyone
• Separating your worth from your career, relationship, or motherhood
• Creating a full life before finding a partner or having children
• Why placing your entire identity into one area of your life can be dangerous
• Allowing different parts of your life to thrive during different seasons
• The psychology, vulnerability, and human connection behind PR
• Why audiences are craving more truth and authenticity
• How Jess went from never wanting to own a business to founding Maven Consulting
• Why many businesses are not ready for traditional full-service PR
• Democratizing PR and making the industry more accessible

& MORE!

This episode is for anyone learning how to trust themselves, make a difficult decision, leave something that is comfortable but no longer aligned, or release the pressure to have their entire life figured out. Jess and Han remind us that confidence does not always come before the leap—sometimes, confidence is built by proving to yourself that you are capable of taking it.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:53 — Welcome Jess to the podcast

01:07 — The psychology and human connection behind PR

02:40 — Was Jess always confident?

03:32 — Confidence is the outcome of courage

05:30 — Why your life can become better when you take risks

06:45 — How Jess learned to trust herself

07:13 — Calling off her wedding four months before it happened

08:43 — Leaving when nothing is wrong, but it is not right

09:15 — How uncertainty keeps us trapped

09:29 — Getting uncomfortable to find true comfort

11:25 — Discovering a new life on the other side of fear

12:06 — Manifesting the feelings you want to experience

13:30 — Becoming too attached to the life you planned

13:57 — Letting go of control and welcoming change

15:35 — Finding balance within the gray areas

16:05 — Productivity, anxiety, and the pressure to always be doing more

19:12 — Why rest looks different for everyone

22:03 — Would Jess make the same decision nine years later?

23:05 — The conversation around whether women can “have it all”

24:11 — Creating a full life outside of a partner and children

24:43 — Why your entire identity cannot live in one area

25:22 — Nothing in life will be a 10 out of 10 all the time

27:08 — Understanding the different seasons of life

29:02 — Why Jess never planned to start a business

29:40 — Her desire to transform the PR industry

30:00 — Building an in-house PR team at Perfect Bar

31:30 — Earning a seat at the table

34:10 — The meaning behind the name Maven

36:00 — Why audiences are craving truth and vulnerability

38:32 — Why Jess turns away potential clients

39:20 — Democratizing and demystifying PR

CONNECT BELOW:

follow Jess ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

check out Jess's PR program Catalyst here

CONNECT with HAN:

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shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

work with Han: [email protected]

#155: On today’s episode, Han sits down with actress, founder, and breast cancer survivor Miranda McKeon for a conversation around mental health, grief, identity, and what it means to surrender. At 19 years old, Miranda had just come off the Netflix series Anne with an E when she discovered a small lump in her breast. She quickly was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.

Miranda and Han explore how trauma changes your relationship with mental health, and how Miranda reclaimed a sense of agency. The girls get into:

• Being diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and how she navigated eight rounds of chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, and 25 rounds of radiation
• The mental, physical, and spiritual toll of cancer treatment
• The grief that comes when the future you imagined suddenly disappears
• Having to surrender when you are someone who craves control
• Learning to speak to yourself like someone who will always have your back
• navigating depression as someone who never struggled with mental health issues
• the problem with outsourcing comfort and validation
• how women tether themselves to our physical appearance
• The complicated relationship women have with beauty, value, and appearance
• Moving away from a “why me?” mentality and the art of reframing
• How changing your language can help you reclaim agency
• Why surrendering can still be an intentional choice
• How facing mortality changed the way Miranda values her time and her life
• Learning not to waste energy obsessing over things you cannot control
• Therapy, journaling, and returning to the tools that support your mental health
• The breast cancer signs and symptoms young women need to know
• The rise of breast cancer diagnoses among young women

& MORE!

This episode is for anyone navigating grief, depression, trauma, illness, or a season of life that has forced them to release control. If you're looking to feel inspired to move through your trauma, this episode is for you!

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 – Introduction

05:21 – Coming off Anne with an E and believing her career was just beginning

05:40 – Being diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer at 19

06:00 – Finding a lump during a breast self-exam

07:55 – The immediate mental-health impact of a cancer diagnosis

08:25 – Surrendering control when your future feels uncertain

11:07 – Why your relationship with mental health changes over time

11:35 – Egg freezing, chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, and radiation

11:50 – The mental, physical, and spiritual toll of cancer treatment

12:30 – Depression and losing hope for the future

15:00 – Grieving the life and future you thought you were going to have

16:20 – Why mental-health struggles can feel so isolating

18:04 – Outsourcing comfort and validation when you feel alone

19:40 – The wounds cancer brought to the surface

20:35 – Why women are taught to use beauty as an asset

21:58 – Why losing her hair did not feel empowering

22:30 – Moving away from a “why me?” mentality

25:00 – Reframing the way you speak about difficult experiences

25:15 – Changing “I have to” into “I get to”

25:39 – Using language to reclaim agency and control

27:13 – How surrendering can still be a choice

31:35 – Why Miranda no longer perseverates on everything that goes wrong

32:00 – How facing mortality changed the way she values her life

32:20 – What Lexapro and antidepressants actually changed

34:29 – Learning how to live with the unknown

35:07 – Struggling to release control

35:33 – Why obsessing over what you cannot change only wastes your energy

36:00 – Returning to the mental-health tools that support you

36:43 – Therapy as a tool for healing

40:22 – Creating resources for women navigating breast cancer

42:30 – The rise of breast cancer among young women

CONNECT BELOW:

follow Miranda ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

follow Fill Your Tank here

CONNECT with HAN:

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watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠

#154: On today's episode, Han sits down with the creator and dating coach behind The Daddy Academy, Niko Emanuilidis, for the first-ever dating conversation with a man on the podcast. The girls wanted to know about modern dating, relationships, red flags, what men actually think, and what women should be looking for in a healthy partner... and Niko unapologetically gets into it.

Han and Niko explore the male perspective on dating so women can better understand the other side, while also breaking down what it actually looks like to date a healthy, emotionally mature man. This episode covers why so many of us keep repeating the same relationship patterns, why healing doesn't always stop you from attracting unhealthy partners, and why the real work is learning to recognize and reject what no longer aligns with you.

Niko and Han get into:

• How childhood wounds shape who you're attracted to
• Why healing doesn't stop you from attracting unhealthy people—you simply have to stop choosing them

• Why a healthy man can embody both masculine and feminine energy
• What emotional regulation actually looks like in a relationship, especially when looking for a boyfriend/long term partner

• Why women are evolving emotionally faster than men
• Why relationships often become the next stage of healing
• The five conversations every couple should have within the first few dates
• How to know if someone is dating intentionally

• The difference between chemistry and compatibility
• What men wish women better understood about dating
• What women should actually look for in a healthy partner
• The biggest red flags women consistently miss
• How to recognize love bombing before it's too late

• Why healthy love feels calm instead of chaotic
• The importance of pacing and boundaries in early dating

• Finding your core wound and breaking unhealthy dating patterns

• What it actually takes to attract the relationship you deserve
• The importance of being seen

& MORE!

This episode is for anyone who feels stuck in unhealthy dating patterns, struggles with attachment wounds, or wants to build a secure, emotionally healthy relationship. If you're navigating dating anxiety, love bombing, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, emotional unavailability, or the fear of being fully seen, this conversation will completely change the way you think about love.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 – Introduction
01:02 – Meet Niko from The Daddy Academy
02:53 – What healthy masculine energy actually looks like
04:45 – Why emotionally available men are the most attractive
07:06 – Why women are evolving emotionally faster than men
08:57 – Do you have to heal before entering a healthy relationship?
10:10 – Why you date your unfinished business
10:26 – Why healing doesn't stop emotionally unavailable people from showing up
17:02 – What women are really looking for in men today
20:27 – The five conversations every couple should have early on
23:24 – How to know if someone is dating intentionally
25:33 – Why talking about past relationships matters
29:09 – Learning to be fully seen in relationships
32:45 – Identifying your core wound and attachment patterns
33:16 – What men wish women understood about dating
39:02 – The biggest dating red flags women miss
39:23 – How love bombing starts with high chemistry and obsession
40:00 – Why you can't rush the dating process
40:58 – The difference between calm love and anxious chemistry
41:22 – What healthy obsession actually looks like
42:33 – Why pacing and boundaries matter in early dating
46:26 – Why you should never date someone's potential
48:10 – Why your time is your greatest asset while dating
53:05 – How to attract the healthy relationship you deserve
54:50 – Why being fully seen helps you find your person
1:00:24 – Stop chasing your future spouse and start loving your own life

CONNECT BELOW:

Follow Niko here

Follow the Daddy Academy here

Join his Dating program here

follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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#153: On today's solo episode, Han opens up about one of the hardest seasons of her life and the question she's been asking:

What actually makes life worth living?

Despite experiencing the most success she's ever had in her career, Han shares why she's simultaneously been navigating one of the darkest chapters of her personal life. She reflects on returning to therapy, her experience with MDMA-assisted therapy, healing from complex trauma, and why she believes so much of our suffering comes from resisting life's inevitable dualities rather than learning to hold them.

This episode is an honest conversation about mental health, depression, healing, fear, and learning to find freedom even when life feels uncertain. Han explores why happiness can actually feel more frightening than pain after trauma, why control keeps us stuck, and why true healing begins the moment we stop trying to escape discomfort and start embracing life's gray areas.

Han gets into:

• what actually makes life worth living
• why success doesn't always equal happiness
• returning to therapy and pursuing deeper healing
• MDMA-assisted therapy and reconnecting to your body
• intellectualizing your emotions vs. actually feeling them
• accepting life's dualities instead of resisting them
• learning to live in the gray
• perfectionism, overachievement, and the need for control
• why happiness can feel scarier than trauma
• exploring happiness after trauma
• finding safety outside of your identity as someone who has suffered
• letting go of the stories you've had to carry to survive
• why avoiding discomfort creates more suffering
• the truth behind fear
• why trying to escape fear becomes its own prison
• navigating depression through acceptance rather than avoidance
• letting go of control and choosing freedom over certainty
• what it really means to build a life worth living
• Happiness as a brave choice

& MORE!

This episode is for anyone who is having a hard time accepting the dualities of life. If you've been navigating depression, complex trauma, burnout, or a season where life feels both beautiful and incredibly difficult, this conversation is for you. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is allow yourself to explore what happiness can truly feel like.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 – Introduction

00:43 – Why I've been putting off this solo episode

01:25 – Going back to therapy to heal deeper layers of trauma

02:11 – The paradox of success: Why achievement doesn't always bring happiness

03:40 – Learning to accept life's dualities and live in the gray

04:00 – Growing up around narcissism and how it shaped the way I cope

05:13 – What actually makes life worth living?

06:30 – My experience with MDMA-assisted therapy

07:08 – Intellectualizing emotions vs. feeling them in your body

08:07 – The perfectionism I didn't realize I had

09:19 – Can we sit with life's uncertainty instead of trying to escape it?

10:28 – Why discomfort makes us retreat

11:24 – Letting go of control instead of avoiding your feelings

11:43 – How accepting ambiguity creates freedom

13:02 – Why happiness can feel scarier than trauma

14:46 – Letting go of an identity rooted in suffering

15:29 – Why acceptance can transform your relationships and career

17:38 – Navigating a dark night of the soul

19:48 – The vulnerability of exploring happiness

20:10 – When discomfort becomes familiar

24:27 – Why external validation never creates lasting safety

25:19 – Fear, discomfort, and why we struggle to sit with uncertainty

27:22 – How trying to escape fear becomes its own prison

CONNECT with HAN:

follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠

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shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

work with Han: [email protected]

#152: On today's episode, psychotherapist and founder of Therapy in the City,  joins the podcast for a conversation about what it actually means to heal.

So many of us spend our lives chasing happiness while trying to avoid pain, but what if the very thing we're resisting is what allows us to experience the deepest joy?

Aliza explains why healing isn't about becoming happy all the time, but about learning to embrace the full human experience. The girls unpack why discomfort isn't something to escape, why uncertainty is one of life's greatest teachers, and how letting go of control can completely transform the way we experience life. The girls get into:

• why pain is required for joy
• why avoiding your emotions creates more suffering
• processing your feelings instead of escaping them
• accepting the full human experience
• embracing life's dualities
• why happiness isn't the goal of healing
• letting go of control and embracing uncertainty
• why some people naturally experience emotions more intensely
• the Biosocial Theory and why mental health isn't always rooted in trauma
• why you are not your thoughts, emotions, or past experiences

• the difference between your first thought and your second thought (more on rewiring the brain)
• why high achievers often struggle to feel their emotions
• slowing down, stillness, and the power of the pause
• understanding shame and where it stems from
• what Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is and how it helps us heal
• psychology and spirituality... why healing requires both
• redefining what true joy actually looks like
• dating, attachment styles, and choosing relationships that align with your values

& MORE!

This episode is for anyone who struggles to relinquish control, finds themselves in patterns of emotional avoidance, or is constantly chasing happiness while resisting pain. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by uncertainty, uncomfortable emotions, or the inevitable ups and downs of life, this conversation will completely reframe what healing actually looks like. Because true joy isn't found in avoiding pain... it's found in learning how to hold both.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 – Introduction
01:09 – What actually brings people to therapy?
04:49 – Feeling emotions deeply and learning how to process them
05:53 – The Biosocial Theory: Why some people feel emotions more intensely
07:03 – Healing isn't only for people with trauma
08:04 – You are not your thoughts, emotions, or past experiences
09:38 – Stop trying to control what you can't control
10:39 – Why healing is about beginning again
13:29 – Learning to embrace uncertainty
16:48 – Why happiness isn't the destination
17:19 – Why pain is required for joy
18:05 – Emotional avoidance: Why avoiding your feelings creates more suffering
20:26 – You can be self-aware and still be emotionally unavailable
21:40 – Logic vs. emotion: Learning to actually feel
23:01 – The science behind emotions and slowing them down
24:11 – The healing power of the pause, silence, and stillness
27:01 – Shame, secrecy, and why they always go together
27:48 – What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?
34:40 – Becoming comfortable with life's ambiguity
36:15 – Psychology, spirituality, and trusting something bigger than yourself
37:25 – The three things anxiety usually comes back to
38:42 – Why external achievement can never replace internal healing
40:27 – What is joy, really?
48:21 – Dating, attachment, and choosing relationships that align with your values

CONNECT BELOW:

Follow Aliza here

Visit Therapy in the City here

CONNECT WITH HAN:

follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠

watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠

shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

work with Han: [email protected]

#151: On today’s episode, President of Peanut and former Bumble executive Michelle Battersby joins the podcast for an honest conversation around ambition, imposter syndrome, motherhood, and the pressure women feel to choose between building a successful career and building a family.

Michelle opens up about helping scale Bumble, launching and later selling her company Sunroom, navigating the mental health challenges that come with entrepreneurship, and learning to trust herself through seasons of uncertainty. The girls unpack purpose, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, societal expectations placed on women.

Michelle opens up about her own healing journey— navigating motherhood and the narratives she had to rewrite as she entered the new season.

The girls get into:

• self-worth and tying your identity to achievement
• how we can move through imposter syndrome
• confidence, self-doubt, and learning to trust yourself
• entrepreneurship as a mental health journey
• identifying the voice of self-trust versus self-doubt
• how fear keeps us trapped and prevents us from reaching our potential
• building Bumble and launching female-first platforms
• double standards women face in business, leadership, and success
• the pressure women feel to choose between motherhood and ambition
• Why 86% of women believe motherhood will negatively impact their careers
• maternal loneliness, women's mental health, and the support systems women desperately need
• fertility decisions, abortion, family planning, and career timing
• navigating pregnancy while building a career
• why women are still penalized for motherhood in ways men aren't
• the systems and societal structures that make balancing career and family so difficult
• why the conversation shouldn't be "can women have it all?" but rather "why is it so hard for women to have it all?"
• challenging outdated narratives around motherhood, ambition, and identity
• work-life balance and redefining what it means to "have it all"
• building a life that feels aligned, meaningful, and authentic
• & MORE!

This episode is for anyone navigating imposter syndrome and anyone lost searching for purpose in their 9-5 job. This episode is also for women who are struggling with the idea of motherhood— anxiety around fertility decisions and entering the next chapter of life.

CONNECT BELOW:

follow Michelle here

follow Peanut here

CONNECT with HAN:

follow Han here

follow HOW I SEE IT here

follow Han on Substack here

watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube here

shop the podcast merch here

work with Han: [email protected]

00:00 – Introduction

02:32 – Realizing she wasn't passionate about her career

04:49 – The intuition that changed her life

07:53 – Self-worth, achievement, and identity

10:29 – Is it wrong to tie your worth to what you do?

11:16 – Different seasons of ambition and success

11:42 – Fulfillment vs external achievement

12:30 – Challenging gender roles through Bumble

14:42 – Why Michelle is drawn to controversial conversations

16:08 – Launching Sunroom and challenging societal norms

18:55 – Double standards for women in business and leadership

22:20 – Imposter syndrome and self-doubt

22:55 – Entrepreneurship as a mental health journey

24:38 – Luck, opportunity, and taking action

26:20 – Learning to trust your intuition

28:43 – Different forms of bravery

29:00 – Identifying the voice of intuition versus fear

31:46 – What would partial success look like?

37:14 – Why 86% of women believe motherhood will hurt their careers

38:07 – Unlearning beliefs around ambition and motherhood

39:17 – Navigating pregnancy while building a company

41:00 – The systems that make balancing career and family difficult

43:35 – Fertility decisions, abortion, and career timing

45:10 – Is there ever a "right time" to have children?

51:08 – The pressure to "bounce back" after motherhood

54:10 – What society gets wrong about motherhood

1:04:15 – Rock bottom, ChatGPT tarot cards, and finding clarity