In a masterpiece of editorial writing from Master Shaw, he rounds out the finale of season 9 with a deep dive into nature's finales - lost species and endlings. We're also setting foot into uncharted territory as we welcome the first Great Ape into the fight arena, as we make war (not love) with those promiscuous primates - the Bonobos. 

We finish our calibration with Green Feathers by looking at which bird has the whitest white feathers known to science before getting our James Cameron on and mulling over which animal we'd want to be turned into an Avatar of... 

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We're running around like headless chickens this week as the penultimate episode for Season 9 takes a trip to mid century America and meets a most unlikely celebrity - Mike the headless chicken. 

Roddy does battle with one of the most fearsome fish in freshwater in the Asian Arowana, Jack busts some myths on penguins for our sponsors Green Feathers and we get our best Hollywood agent acts on as we hire animals for their sound effects. 

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Something a little different for you today listeners, as we're delving into the uncomfortable truths surrounding bird feeding and whether it's the right thing to do... 

For more reading on the subject, you can download this excellent paper that talks about the potential ecological impacts of bird feeding here: www.researchgate.net/publication/353996228_Killing_with_kindness_Does_widespread_generalised_provisioning_of_wildlife_help_or_hinder_biodiversity_conservation_efforts

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It's time to salute the flag and sing your national anthem with gusto listeners, as Roddy takes us on a tour of some of the world's national animals. Quizmaster Shaw is hosting Geese's answer to Eurovision as he unleashes an iconic animals Euroquiz upon your ears. 

In today's fight we welcome Patreon member Tom Hone into the ring, as he tag teams with Roddy in the frozen wastes of the Antarctic Ocean to do battle with a fearsome feathered foe from the high seas. 

Our Green Feathers segment looks at how feathers were integral to the foundation of some of the biggest conservation groups on the planet before we go all DIY SOS and build an animalistic construction team for all your property building needs.  

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Ready the tea leaves and polish your crystal balls, we are discussing divination with doves and dodos as Jack takes us through the ancient practice of bird augury - beginning in the most unlikely of places, and with a snail...

But that's not all of course as Roddy does battle with a hellish giant of the deep - the deep sea isopod - and the pair discuss which animals would make the best gang for a dream blunt rotation. 

That's not all of course as our sponsored segment with pals at Green Feathers sees the hosts chat through some of the biggest feathers in the bird world.

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In a throw back to when we disarmed the bat bomb in Season 5, we are donning our combat gear and heading to the front lines to look at how and when animals have been involved in war throughout history. With everything from a cat receiving an award for gallantry, to battle dolphins, through to how modern conflict is - in some instances - helping preserve parts of the natural world, we uncover the goose juice in some of history's darkest times. 

Then it's time for the fight segment as Roddy does battle with one of nature's flattest foes; the terror of trypophobics everywhere - the Suriname Toad. 

And after all that excitement, we round off by getting behind the control panel of evolution to answer what one thing would we change to tweak evolution's outcomes.

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BOOM! Today's episode is blowing biology wide open as we take a look at exploding animals and why some species have evolved the most hardcore defensive behaviours on Planet Earth. 

Our journey into the world of feathers continues as we hop in the goose time machine to look back to their origins and see what the dinosaurs were dressed in. Then it's time for our fight segment where we welcome Patreon member Nellie nto the ring to help Roddy tackle the fluffiest combatant that's ever stepped into the arena - Chinchillas. 

And, after all that excitement, we blow off some steam at a party with the animals as we answer the question - which animal would be the best at fancy dress? 

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Listener, what's the craziest thing you've found growing where it shouldn't...? 

Whilst you get to leaving your answers in the comments, Roddy is taking us all through some of the wildest things that nature has sprouted in unexpected places. 

Then it's time for another feather segment with our pals Green Feathers, where we go all shmancy and don our Eider down jackets to learn about the extraordinary feathers (and prices) that these ducks are responsible for. 

Then it's our fight segment where the feathers will literally fly as Roddy does battle with the terminator finch hell bent on making us all have to deal with cherry stones - the Hawfinch. Then we atone for our wildlife brawling sins by putting our minds to a question on thinking outside the box to develop a new conservation strategy... 

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WE. ARE. BACK - and season nine (NINE!) is off to a flying start as Jack takes us through just what all those salmon hat wearing orcas were up to in the news - and used the topic to ask questions about culture in other creatures. If the fashion news of the century passed you by, then you can take a look at them strutting their salmon-y stuff here.

Then, in our new sponsored segment - where we'll be featuring all things feathers this season - Roddy gets us started by taking a look at just what even is a feather, before going on to the classic goose juice and doing battle with one of nature's wonders - the weta. 

And it wouldn't be HMG if we didn't tackle a listener question - so we're off to Hogwarts to figure out just what our patronus would be... ... .. kind of

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We are popping up on Christmas eve to share a sneak peek (sneak hear?) of our Christmas special which has just dropped over on the Goose Patreon!

The full episode covers everything from 14th century Sardinian Queens, to Octopi on Christmas cards and a recasting of some nativity guests with wildlife's wisest wonders! (IS this the one time we will accept a chimp??)

Sign up by the 10th of January and get 20% off your first month with coded "G00SE" - just head to www.patreon.com/howmanygeese 

Have a very Merry Christmas and we will see you in the New Year