We had a bit of a quarrel yesterday and wanted to share what happened, and then how we were able to deal with it. The good thing about the more kids you have, you cut through drama quickly, which has been a great thing in marriage because it helps us to focus and pinpoint the exact thing that was causing the drama we went through and resolve the problem. Sometimes it takes a little quarrel to reveal what the underlying cause of annoyance or stress is, which you can then come back to a little later when everyone has calmed down and talk about it, and then help one another resolve it.

An issue we had yesterday 1:21
Adam’s frustration 6:23
You have to do the work 11:50
Bringing up the past 17:46
A few principles that really help us 19:07
You can’t fix the unknown 25:40

“Sometimes with your spouse, they may be stressed or something is going on with them and the problem that comes up isn’t the actual problem. So you might have an argument about something that’s not actually the problem, but when you’ve cooled down and come back to the drawing board where you say, ‘Look, let’s figure out what’s going on. Why was there frustration? Why was there annoyance?’ Something else comes up that’s actually the problem.” 4:54

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