Trying to be perfect and keeping our world perfect can make us crazy. We say we’re ok being “perfectly imperfect,” but we really don’t believe it because we take other people personally. We people please to get validation and keep a semblance of control over those we care about, so our perfect world is not destroyed. We not only don’t accept ourselves, we don’t accept others being different than we need them to be. I’ve known clients who freak out if their partner is out of sight; it can feel like abandonment and leave them scrambling to get back to a feeling of everything being under control. And when it is under control, it can seem like perfection. Control, perfection and taking others personally leaves us scrambling; we are never at peace. When we people please, we’re seeking validation, and when we don’t get it, we take it personally. But that just puts the focus on the other person, leading to feelings of anger, jealousy, sadness, etc. Learning not to take people personally can avoid many of these upsets. We’re constantly at odds with life and others in our attempt to be perfect.

We all make mistakes, but it’s not about beating ourselves up. “Perfect” people try to avoid triggers, but when you allow them and see yourself for who you are (imperfect), you can start to change your life. When you’re more accepting of yourself and others, you feel less crazy. Tune into hear more and learn how to chill.