This week Keri, Peter and Matthew discussed their respective places in The Cider Shed human centipede, Keri's ad-based decision to enter the Brighton marathon in a cow suit and the divine justice of kicking your Dad in the knackers. 

Somewhere in all of that soily mess, we unearthed an aged beer bottle with the following messages:

• Ruth's lasagne therapy: Wrong on so many layers and is her boy pasta point of no return? 

• Kirsty pitches but Kate switches witches. 

• Cloakroom and dagger: Comrades Mia and Brad plan to attack hunts. (say it quickly) 

• Early bath for Beth: Ben's amazingly contrived plan to dump his girlfriend finally pays off.

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