If we were chronokinetic, we would go back in time and stop this atrocious season of Riverdale from happening. From ever evolving superpowers to weird religious undertones, these two episodes are everything we hate, saved from being a total waste of time only by KJ Apa's abs. Apparently, the apocalypse is coming to Riverdale, but maybe not soon enough.

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Take the money and run...is NOT what Jason Segel does in this movie. And if he had, he would have saved us all a lot of time. Maybe he couldn't run in those boots that were significant for some reason that is never fully explained? Or maybe he was on some kind of personal moral quest that would have made more sense if it had ever been revealed to us? This movie provides ZERO answers, and we have a MILLION questions.

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This week, we're actually in total agreement with Percival Pickens' plan to put an end to gang violence in Riverdale which either means we've officially gone crazy OR Percival's mind control powers work long distance. But don't worry, we still have plenty of complaints about Abigail's basket of cyanide scones, the deeply toxic relationship that is Veggie, and the return of Julien...

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Here we go again, folks! It's time for Archie to rally "The Town" to save Riverdale for some inexplicable reason. But this is what we're doing, so we're here to help you break down Percival's clearly nefarious motivations, the dubious nature of the gang's  superpowers, the waste of time that is and has always been the Blossoms, and why opening a casino in a town historically plagued by greed, corruption, crime and poverty may NOT have been the best idea, VERONICA.

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Let's be honest, we've all thought to ourselves at some point, "Hey. You know what would fix this toxic relationship? Polygamy. And if that doesn't work, there's always murder." No? Just this movie? Deep Water, starring Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas, is 75% a very explicit How-NOT-To guide on navigating relationships and 25% a snail documentary, and if that doesn't convince you to check out this episode, we don't know what will.

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Keeping up with Riverdale this season feels like a full-time job. Episode 7 lays A LOT of groundwork, and given what we've seen so far, things could literally go ANYWHERE at this point. For now, we're focused on processing Hiram's alleged death, figuring out what the hell Nana Rose and Abigail are up to, and trying to predict exactly what the HELL is going on with TBK. (Special thanks to Lisa's dear friend and IT expert Brandon, without whom this episode would literally not exist.)

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Ready or not -- Riverdale is back! In this aptly titled episode, some characters develop supernatural abilities, some characters die (maybe??), and some characters just aren't themselves anymore if ya know what we mean. We're very nervous about where the rest of Season 6 is going at this point but let's find out together!

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The Woman in the Window is one of five movies nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award in 2022...but does it deserve that title? We compare the movie to the book and discuss what worked and what didn't and tackle the larger question of whether or not the Rear Window genre of thriller movies is played out. It's a very reasonable 100 minutes (or 90 minutes, if you're Dawn), so check this one out and let us know what you think!

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If you are one of the millions who endured this 135-minute assault on eyes, ears and quality of life, we see you and we salute you. And we also want to remind you that therapy exists and can help you. (And if that doesn't work, there's always alcohol.) Julia Fox will tell you that she was the muse for this obscenely terrible movie, but we're pretty sure the muse was actually a flaming bag of crap. Oh, and to the 92% of Rotten Tomatoes critics who thought this was a GOOD movie...you can't sit with us.

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We like to think of Canada as a friendly and peaceful country, but that is NOT the experience of this week's movie, Good Neighbours. There's cat murder, human murder and just general murder of hope and faith in humanity, so we actually don't recommend watching this one for a good time. Or any kind of time, really. But if you want to know all the gruesome details without putting yourself through the visual assault, that's what we're here for! Yes, we took this bullet for you. Don't let it be in vain.

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