Kristyn Lohoff lost her father when she was just seven years old. Growing up without a father and seeing her friends go on “dad trips” always made her jealous, so when her husband passed, she felt such sadness in seeing her four daughters grow up without a dad as well. With the loss of seven family members in her life within a short timeframe, people around her didn’t know how to support her in her grief. Kristen shares her grief story and how she worked on honoring her husband after he passed.

 

Key Takeaways:

• Kristyn is no stranger to grief, having lost seven family members, including her husband & mother, within two years.
• Kristyn’s father died when she was seven. She remembers feeling very jealous that her friends had fathers.
• Kristyn became a caregiver to her mother, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. She visually saw the person she knew disappear completely. She experienced two forms of grief, the person disappearing, and the actual physical death.
• After her mother passed, more family members were to follow. It was an impossibly painful time.
• What was Kristyn’s path forward? How did she get out of the pain of her grief?
• When Kristyn’s husband died, it came as a surprise. He had stage four cancer, but he wasn’t supposed to go when he did.
• Kristyn felt so guilty when she felt moments of happiness, especially when her husband wasn’t there.
• When Susan’s father died, counselors at school thought she was going to them frequently just to get out of school, but it was because she was in grief! Susan felt very unsupported during that time.
• After Susan’s husband passed away, she made it a point to support her daughter during this tough time.
• It takes time to not let grief consume you.
• Kristyn is so sad her husband is missing key life moments in their children’s lives. He always used to say he will be walking all four daughters down the aisle, and as one of her daughters has just gotten engaged, it makes it all that more a reality that’s not going to happen.
• Kristyn took an RV trip to run away from her grief because everyone around her was mourning. It was depressing.
• When Kristyn started planning her trip, she felt excited again.
• Find what brings you joy and practice that for 15 minutes.
• You want to honor your loved ones, but you also have to honor yourself.
• Nature has calming qualities. It’s a stress reducer!
• Susan chooses what she does with her grief. She chooses what she does with her feelings. You have a lot of power in choice.
• We as a culture need to be more open about talking about our grief and not be afraid of it.
• Kristyn offers some advice for those who are currently in grief.

 

Resources

Tendrilsofgrief.com

Email Susan: [email protected]