Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e22transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

What does it actually mean to build a life that works for your brain?

I sat down with Patrick Casale, founder of All Things Private Practice, and co-host of Divergent Conversations, a twice-exceptional, AuDHD therapist, entrepreneur, speaker, and coach, for a conversation that went far beyond any single diagnosis.

Patrick shared his journey from being labeled gifted as a child to first discovering his ADHD well into adulthood and then autism years later as a married man. We get into late-discovery, addiction, the search for connection, and why entrepreneurship can become a different kind of path for neurodivergent people. We also talk about relationships, sensory needs, authenticity, self-doubt, and the messy process of creating a life that feels authentically yours. Along the way, we keep coming back to a bigger question: What happens when you stop trying to fit yourself into a world that wasn't built for you?

• Late diagnosis can completely reshape your understanding of yourself.
• Giftedness doesn't always come with the support to match.
• Isolation can make harmful coping mechanisms feel like connection.
• Neurodivergent people may be drawn to entrepreneurship for autonomy.
• You have to build your life around your brain.
• Authenticity requires safety, not just courage.
• Community can be essential to healing.

• Follow Patrick on IG: https://www.instagram.com/patrick.casale
• Subscribe to the "AuDHD Journeys": https://patrickcasale.substack.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
• Check his full Linktree: https://linktr.ee/patrickcasale

• Patrick Casale's TEDx "Lessons from a late in life autism discovery ": https://youtu.be/hyImqW69OY4?si=yeo1bjgn5rvcx0AM
• "My Name is Pauli Murray" documentary: https://www.amazon.com/My-Name-Pauli-Murray/dp/B09DMPMWCP
• Johann Hari's TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong
• My episode on the "Divergent Conversations" podcast with Patrick and Dr. Meg: https://www.divergentpod.com/blog/ep-84

• Want to go deeper? Schedule a short call to explore working with me as a speaker or personal self-discovery coach: sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

neurodivergence, ADHD, autism, giftedness, therapy, addiction, mental health, self-discovery, connection, identity entrepreneurship, neurodivergent, self-doubt, relationships, ADHD, autism, autonomy, creative freedom, productivity, support neurodivergence, relationships, authenticity, healing, curiosity, self-discovery, giftedness, community, mental health, emotional safety

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e21transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

What happens when you finally start understanding how your brain works? This is a CRITICAL question...

In this recap episode, I revisit my conversation with Dr. Bowen Marshall and discuss some of the most nourishing nuggets we discussed.

In the full episode, we talked about neurodivergent relationships, late identification, autism, ADHD, AuDHD, and the ways our differences can create tension when we don't yet understand what's happening underneath the surface.

But this conversation was about more than diagnosis.

It was about what happens when we stop assuming everyone experiences the world the way we do.

• Why some neurodivergent people are missed.
• How overstimulation and rejection sensitivity affect relationships.
• Why self-awareness changes how we interpret conflict.
• Why "everyone is a little autistic" misses the point.
• How race and marginalization shape neurodivergent self-discovery.
• What it means to love ourselves without trying to erase our differences.

• Follow Bowen on IG: https://www.instagram.com/drbotyler/
• Subscribe to the Substack (@bowentylermarshall)
• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bowen-marshall-phd-lpcc-s-b62b2621/

• "Fear" by Kendrick Lamar (beware of language): https://open.spotify.com/track/23luOrEVHMfoX0AhfbQuS6?si=c0fb1d7e485e49cf
• If you want to look up the "Atlanta" episode I referenced, go here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Slaps
• SPARK Autism research program: sparkforautism.org
• CHADD - ADHD research: https://chadd.org/research/
• Autism Science Foundation: autismsciencefoundation.org
• The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ youth mental health): thetrevorproject.org

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted self-discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

Neurodivergent, Neurodiversity, Autism, ADHD ,AuDHD, Neurodivergent Relationships, Late Diagnosis, Self-Discovery, Mental Health, Relationships

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e20transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Bowen Tyler Marshall, a licensed psychotherapist, PhD, and author specializing in ADHD, autism, relationships, and trauma - for a conversation I've been excited to have for MONTHS. If you're eager to discuss the challenges of neurodivergent relationships, THIS IS YOUR EPISODE. We dig into the science of late diagnosis, why so many people get completely missed by traditional frameworks, and how neurodivergent traits that look like rejection or emotional unavailability are actually nervous system responses being misread as character flaws. We even discuss something that might need me to hold a few hands...when healing and growing into who you actually are, not everyone in your life can make that journey with you. This one is for the late diagnosed, the ones who always felt like something was off, and everyone doing the work to live authentically and have healthy, fulfilling relationships.

• Different brains create different relationship needs.
• Late diagnosis changes more than identity.
• Compassion isn't the same as sacrifice.
• Relationships need understanding, not assumptions.
• Misunderstanding isn't the same as rejection.
• Healing sometimes costs you your closest relationships.
• Not every conflict is personal.

• Follow Bowen on IG: https://www.instagram.com/drbotyler/
• Subscribe to the Substack (@bowentylermarshall)
• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bowen-marshall-phd-lpcc-s-b62b2621/

• SPARK Autism research program: sparkforautism.org
• CHADD - ADHD research: https://chadd.org/research/
• Autism Science Foundation: autismsciencefoundation.org
• The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ youth mental health): thetrevorproject.org

• Want to go deeper? Schedule a short call to explore working with me as a speaker or personal self-discovery coach: sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

neurodivergence, ADHD, autism, relationships, couples therapy, mental health, therapy, communication, late diagnosis, self-awareness, compassion neurodivergent relationships, self-compassion, boundaries, marginalized communities, late diagnosis, neurodivergent healing, emotional understanding, trauma, identity, compassion

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e19transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this episode, I reflect on my conversation with Kwentin Shelton, focusing on the importance of early diagnosis in neurodivergent individuals, the struggles faced by gifted individuals, and the significance of believing in oneself. The discussion emphasizes the need for compassion, support, and understanding in educational and personal contexts, highlighting that one's starting point does not dictate their future success.

• The importance of early diagnosis for better outcomes.
• Gifted individuals can face unique challenges.
• Curiosity about oneself is essential for growth.
• Support systems are crucial for navigating struggles.
• Giftedness does not equate to perfection in all areas.
• Self-belief is key to overcoming societal doubts.
• Community support can enhance personal journeys.
• Labels can stigmatize rather than help individuals.
• Education systems need to be more inclusive.
• Personal growth is a continuous journey, not a destination.

• Follow him on IG: @asd_by_kas
• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kwentin-shelton/

• Kennesaw State Accessibility Collaboration Team

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted self-discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

neurodivergence, giftedness, early diagnosis, self-discovery, education, support, community, personal growth, mental health, inclusion

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e18transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this episode, Kwentin Shelton shares his journey of neurodivergence, early diagnosis, and navigating the educational system as a Black man. We explore misconceptions about autism, the importance of representation, and strategies for support and advocacy. Kwentin Shelton shares his inspiring journey overcoming bullying, embracing neurodivergence, and pursuing his passions in tech, education, and creative projects. Discover how community, self-belief, and resilience can transform lives.

• Early diagnosis and its impact on self-esteem
• Misconceptions about autism and giftedness
• The importance of representation and support in education
• Challenges faced by Black neurodivergent individuals
• Strategies for advocacy and self-awareness
• The role of societal support and accommodations bullying and resilience
• The importance of community and safe spaces
• Self-belief and overcoming stereotypes

• Follow him on IG: @asd_by_kas
• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kwentin-shelton/

• Kennesaw State Accessibility Collaboration Team

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted or neurodivergent discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

neurodivergence, autism, education, representation, advocacy, Black men, support strategies, misconceptions, early diagnosis neurodivergence, autism, bullying, education, community, resilience, self-belief, tech, representation, empowerment

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e17transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this reflection episode, I discuss my conversation with Dr. Derek Porter, which focused on the themes of burnout, authenticity, privilege, and the societal pressures that shape our experiences. We spent time discussing the costs associated with masking one's true self, the complexities of navigating burnout in various spaces, and the need for equitable systems that support mental health and well-being. I listeners to rethink traditional notions of intelligence and speed, advocating for a more compassionate and understanding approach to personal and professional relationships.

• There's a cost of masking that affects our well-being.
• Burnout is a systemic issue, not just personal.
• The grind culture erodes individuals over time.
• Authenticity should be prioritized in all spaces.
• Leadership roles often come with extra burdens.
• Equitable compensation is necessary for extra responsibilities.
• Speed is not the only measure of intelligence.
• We need to create systems that support mental health.

• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/derek-porter/
• Check out his work on Linktree: https://linktr.ee/drderekporter
• Email him at [email protected]

• Confidence Mapping - Peter Atwater
• Maslach Burnout Inventory — Framework for understanding burnout
• The Canary Code — Book illustrating early warning signs in systems
• Carol Dweck’s work on Grit — Understanding resilience and perseverance in the context of burnout and systemics

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted or neurodivergent discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

burnout, authenticity, privilege, community, leadership, intelligence, speed, mental health, relationships, equity

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e16transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In Part 2 and the conclusion of this episode, I continue our discussion with Dr. Derek Porter around the critical issues of burnout, organizational failure, and the importance of understanding neurodivergence in educational and community spaces. We get a little deeper into the challenges of creating inclusive environments in schools and how these challenges are particularly impacting already marginalized groups such as women and BIPOC folks. Derek then leaves us with his lessons and wishes for schools and for society at large.

• Organizations that neglect staff and community needs face measurable losses in retention and engagement.
• Confidence mapping can significantly enhance trust and clarity within teams and communities.
• Addressing burnout requires structural changes, including setting boundaries and transparent communication.
• Understanding neurodivergence is crucial for creating inclusive environments that support diverse needs.
• Leadership accountability and honest feedback loops are essential for organizational health.

• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/derek-porter/
• Check out his work on Linktree: https://linktr.ee/drderekporter
• Email him at [email protected]

• Confidence Mapping - Peter Atwater
• Maslach Burnout Inventory — Framework for understanding burnout
• The Canary Code — Book illustrating early warning signs in systems
• Carol Dweck’s work on Grit — Understanding resilience and perseverance in the context of burnout and systemics

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted or neurodivergent discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

organizational health, mental health, diversity, inclusion, confidence mapping, burnout, neurodivergence, employee engagement, mental health, workplace culture, self-care, collective care, emotional well-being, productivity, systems design burnout culture, human connection, education challenges, decision fatigue, BIPOC educators, community needs, teacher retention, wellness days, equity and inclusion, systemic issues education, teacher shortages, student experience, teacher burnout, gender dynamics, neurodivergence, classroom strategies, confidence building, inclusive education, educational solutions

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e15transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In Part 1 of this episode, I chop it up with Dr. Derek Porter about how burnout is a systems issue and not a personal failure. We discuss organizational inequities and how they impact schools and companies as a whole, especially neurodivergent and other marginalized people. We begin to discuss the necessary elements of systemic change, human connection, and understanding marginalized experiences to create healthier, more sustainable environments.

• The different manifestations of burnout: quiet quitting, crashing, imploding, and imploding
• Maslach’s burnout framework: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced efficacy
• The systemic nature of burnout and the importance of designing better systems
• Neurodivergence and neurotypicality: evolving definitions and social implications
• The conflation of speed and intelligence, and misconceptions about neurodivergence
• Impact of masking, code switching, and fear of visibility among marginalized communities
• Unique challenges faced by BIPOC and marginalized individuals regarding surveillance, invisibility, and extra responsibilities
• The influence of organizational culture, soft skills investment, and leadership alignment
• Decision fatigue in schools: the high volume of daily judgments by teachers and staff
• The "Canary Code" analogy for identifying early signs of systemic distress
• The importance of human connection and authenticity in overcoming systemic oppression
• Consequences of neglecting systemic issues: attrition, reduced quality, and perpetuation of inequity

• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/derek-porter/
• Check out his work on Linktree: https://linktr.ee/drderekporter
• Email him at [email protected]

• Maslach Burnout Inventory — Framework for understanding burnout
• The Canary Code — Book illustrating early warning signs in systems
• Carol Dweck’s work on Grit — Understanding resilience and perseverance in the context of burnout and systemics

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted or neurodivergent discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

burnout, neurodivergence, employee engagement, mental health, workplace culture, self-care, collective care, emotional well-being, productivity, systems design burnout culture, human connection, education challenges, decision fatigue, BIPOC educators, community needs, teacher retention, wellness days, equity and inclusion, systemic issues education, teacher shortages, student experience, teacher burnout, gender dynamics, neurodivergence, classroom strategies, confidence building, inclusive education, educational solutionsdfd

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EwLU4aj5I7ZhLZqQ4hJS6j8YDerRxm9CPKNGxrMpqP8/edit?usp=sharing

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this short reflection episode, I talk about a few key takeaways from my recent episode with Mark Travis Rivera. I discuss the importance of redefining manhood, especially in light of the recent domestic violence tragedies. I also discuss why we should get more comfortable with the word disability and how Mark never let other's preconceptions limit him. I also reflect on the power of storytelling and why I support his push for everyone to share their authentic story. Check out the full episode (Season 3 - Episode 13) for the complete experience.

• Manhood isn't limited to what a typical "macho man" might do
• We all will experience disability, even if temporary, at some point in our lives. It's not a dirty word.
• Storytelling is a fundamentally human experience that is crucial to finding our community

• @marktravrivera on Instagram
• Learn more about his speaking, coaching, and other work: https://marktravisrivera.com
• Connect on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/mark-travis-rivera

• KevOnStage Speaks about Leading with Love and LGBTQ support: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXUX4R5jafk/
• Hire me to speak or as your personal coach! sheldongayisbugn.com
• Database of Therapists for Black and other Marginalized Groups: https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/therapistsformypeople
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/

disability, manhood, storytelling, diagnosis, authenticity, self-regulation, self-control, intelligence, neurodiversity, accommodations, mental health, personal growth, belonging

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e13transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this episode, I get the chance to chat with Mark Travis Rivera, an award-winning creative entrepreneur and storyteller. We discuss Mark's journey of embracing his neurodivergence, the importance of storytelling, and how dance has shaped his identity, especially as someone with a physical disability. Mark shares his story as a Brown, neurodivergent, disabled, queer man, including the impact of losing his brother and how it propelled him to pursue his passions. He also discusses how his "macho" older cousin changed his life by investing in his first dance gear, even though it wasn't his thing. He shares his belief in the power of connection through personal narratives, the challenges he faced growing up, and how he broke generational curses by becoming the first in his family to graduate college. During our discussion, Mark told me about how Oprah inspired him to honor one's calling in life. This episode is about highlighting the importance of creating inspiring spaces that reflect one's journey and the stories of those who have influenced them. He firmly makes the case for the power of stories to create empathy and understanding, as well as the beauty of being different.

• Storytelling is a powerful tool for inclusion, understanding and connection.
• Mark's work is centered around creating a more inclusive world through storytelling.
• You can align your entrepreneurial journey with your neurodivergent needs.
• The power of stories lies in their ability to create empathy and connection. Dance is a powerful form of expression and healing.
• There's ancestral wisdom in using movement to process grief and emotions.
• Embracing one's identity is crucial for personal growth.
• Disability should be embraced, not shamed.
• Honoring your calling is essential for personal fulfillment.
• Routine can significantly impact mood and focus, especially for neurodivergent individuals.
• Leaning into one's differences can reveal unique strengths and perspectives.

• @marktravrivera on Instagram
• Learn more about his speaking, coaching, and other work: https://marktravisrivera.com
• Connect on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/mark-travis-rivera

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted or neurodivergent discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/therapistsformypeople
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources
• "Never Can Say Goodbye" book by Darnell Lamont Walker :https://rep.club/products/never-can-say-goodbye?srsltid=AfmBOorDmuTkA-ekY17rQ0xp-NGkNhjSNG3MmMVjCACreVjGTmh0rBkj

neurodivergence, storytelling, inclusion, dance, identity, creativity, entrepreneurship, personal growth, mental health, healing, disability, identity, expression, grief, intersectionality, connection, resilience, generational curses, self-love, empathy, personal growth, cerebral palsy, books, book snob

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.