I Must Be BUG'N

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e25transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Patrice N. Douglas LP, LMFT to explore what neurodivergence can look like through the lived experiences of Black people, particularly Black men. We talk about therapy, masking, survival, relationships, executive functioning, and the ways behaviors can be labeled as lazy, angry, difficult, or defiant when there may be something much deeper happening underneath.

We also dig into why therapy shouldn't be about fixing people, how cultural expectations shape the way neurodivergence is understood, and what becomes possible when we approach ourselves and each other with more curiosity, acceptance, and context. Dr. P also gives us a look at her upcoming workbook for Black men and the bigger goal behind her work: helping Black men exist more happily, authentically, and on their own terms.

• How neurodivergence can reshape a Black man's identity
• When survival gets mistaken for defiance or laziness
• Why understanding yourself matters more than fixing yourself
• How cultural expectations shape the way Black men show up
• Making room for authenticity, acceptance, and joy

• Check out her website and PRE-ORDER HER BOOK!: https://patricendouglas.com/
• Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepatricenicole/

• Direct link to pre-order or purchase her book: https://patricendouglas.com/the-neurodivergent-workbook/
• Learn more about "DSM-5 For the Culture": https://drpatricendouglas.thinkific.com/pages/dsm-5-for-the-culture
• Read her dissertation on "Barriers to Mental Health Treatment for African American Men": https://www.proquest.com/openview/9c451c0f0211c121064ea37ecf08e8d8/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750&diss=y
• Read "Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome" by Dr. Joy DeGruy: https://www.joydegruy.com/post-traumatic-slave-syndrome?utm_source=chatgpt.com
• Read "Misbelief" by Dan Ariely: https://misbeliefbook.com/
• Read "The Experience Machine" by Andy Clark: https://www.amazon.com/Experience-Machine-Minds-Predict-Reality/dp/1524748455

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted self-discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

neurodivergent Black men, Black men and neurodivergence, Black men mental health, neurodivergent Black men therapy, Black men and therapy, healing Black men, neurodivergence and identity, neurodivergence and masking, autism in Black men, ADHD in Black men, Dr. Patrice Douglas, The Neurodivergent Workbook

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e24transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this episode of I Must Be BUG'N, I sit down with Lawrence C. Harris, a youth speaker who's turned his own journey through autism, childhood abuse, and personal challenges into a mission to help teens and young adults believe their past doesn't have to write their future. Lawrence walks me through the moment at fifteen when he stopped calling himself a victim and started asking "what if I did something about this instead," and we dig into accountability, community, and the belief he had to unlearn before real change could happen (listen to find out what that is ;-D). This one's for anyone who's ever felt stuck in their story and wondered if there was a way out.

• Autism is a different way the brain operates, not a better or worse one.
• Real change starts with a single question: "What if I did something about this?"
• Accountability means owning your choices, even when you didn't choose your circumstances.
• Breaking a struggle into smaller pieces makes it possible to solve.
• Believing you deserve help comes before anyone can actually give it to you.

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lawrencec.empowers/

• A Free coaching call with Lawrence: https://calendly.com/lawrencecharris/coaching
• Free Prompt-Journal (leave him feedback on this interview): https://speakerhub.com/cta/jI6IS9

• Want to go deeper? Schedule a short call to explore working with me as a speaker or personal self-discovery coach: sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

mental health, youth empowerment, neurodiversity, personal growth, accountability, community support, unlearning beliefs, autism awareness, journaling, purpose in life youth empowerment, generational differences, social media impact, personal goals, neurodivergence, compassion, empathy, self-discovery, mental health, personal growth

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e23transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

I've spent a lot of time thinking about the parts of myself I didn't have language for until later in life. In this recap episode of I Must Be BUG'N, I sit with that feeling after my conversation with Patrick Casale MA LCMHC, an AuDHD therapist who didn't discover he was autistic until he was 35 years old.

I ask the question that stays with me long after we stop recording: what does it cost us to grow up without the words for who we are? Autistic kids become autistic adults, yet somewhere along the way, the support just stops. I trace that gap, and I trace something harder to admit that Patrick names outright - the way ableism lives inside the neurodivergent community itself, shaping how we judge our own diagnoses before we even accept them.

I follow that thread into reflecting on Patrick's thoughts on addiction, and how a search for connection can pull someone toward rooms that aren't necessarily safe. I land on the idea that keeps pulling me back in every conversation like this one: diagnosis doesn't just explain a person to themselves. It changes how they get loved. It completely changes the probability some relationships can survive.

This episode is for anyone who's ever felt like a stranger in their own story - and for anyone ready to meet themselves for the first time.

• Conversations can deepen our understanding of ourselves.
• Many neurodivergent individuals realize their identity in adulthood.
• Resources for neurodivergent adults are limited compared to children.
• Confronting ableism is crucial for self-acceptance.
• Addiction often stems from a desire for connection.
• Understanding one's identity can improve relationships.
• Teaching about neurodivergence should include all ages.
• Self-discovery is essential for personal growth and accessing all of the joy available to us

• Follow Patrick on IG: https://www.instagram.com/patrick.casale
• Subscribe to the "AuDHD Journeys": https://patrickcasale.substack.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
• Check his full Linktree: https://linktr.ee/patrickcasale

• Video of comedian Ron Funches speaking about how he found out he was autistic: https://www.instagram.com/p/DdTrMTzJN5D/
• Patrick Casale's TEDx "Lessons from a late in life autism discovery ": https://youtu.be/hyImqW69OY4?si=yeo1bjgn5rvcx0AM
• "My Name is Pauli Murray" documentary: https://www.amazon.com/My-Name-Pauli-Murray/dp/B09DMPMWCP
• Johann Hari's TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong
• My episode on the "Divergent Conversations" podcast with Patrick and Dr. Meg: https://www.divergentpod.com/blog/ep-84

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted self-discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

neurodivergence, autism, ableism, addiction, relationships, self-discovery, identity, mental health, awareness, personal growth

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e22transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

What does it actually mean to build a life that works for your brain?

I sat down with Patrick Casale, founder of All Things Private Practice, and co-host of Divergent Conversations, a twice-exceptional, AuDHD therapist, entrepreneur, speaker, and coach, for a conversation that went far beyond any single diagnosis.

Patrick shared his journey from being labeled gifted as a child to first discovering his ADHD well into adulthood and then autism years later as a married man. We get into late-discovery, addiction, the search for connection, and why entrepreneurship can become a different kind of path for neurodivergent people. We also talk about relationships, sensory needs, authenticity, self-doubt, and the messy process of creating a life that feels authentically yours. Along the way, we keep coming back to a bigger question: What happens when you stop trying to fit yourself into a world that wasn't built for you?

• Late diagnosis can completely reshape your understanding of yourself.
• Giftedness doesn't always come with the support to match.
• Isolation can make harmful coping mechanisms feel like connection.
• Neurodivergent people may be drawn to entrepreneurship for autonomy.
• You have to build your life around your brain.
• Authenticity requires safety, not just courage.
• Community can be essential to healing.

• Follow Patrick on IG: https://www.instagram.com/patrick.casale
• Subscribe to the "AuDHD Journeys": https://patrickcasale.substack.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
• Check his full Linktree: https://linktr.ee/patrickcasale

• Patrick Casale's TEDx "Lessons from a late in life autism discovery ": https://youtu.be/hyImqW69OY4?si=yeo1bjgn5rvcx0AM
• "My Name is Pauli Murray" documentary: https://www.amazon.com/My-Name-Pauli-Murray/dp/B09DMPMWCP
• Johann Hari's TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong
• My episode on the "Divergent Conversations" podcast with Patrick and Dr. Meg: https://www.divergentpod.com/blog/ep-84

• Want to go deeper? Schedule a short call to explore working with me as a speaker or personal self-discovery coach: sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

neurodivergence, ADHD, autism, giftedness, therapy, addiction, mental health, self-discovery, connection, identity entrepreneurship, neurodivergent, self-doubt, relationships, ADHD, autism, autonomy, creative freedom, productivity, support neurodivergence, relationships, authenticity, healing, curiosity, self-discovery, giftedness, community, mental health, emotional safety

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e21transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

What happens when you finally start understanding how your brain works? This is a CRITICAL question...

In this recap episode, I revisit my conversation with Dr. Bowen Marshall and discuss some of the most nourishing nuggets we discussed.

In the full episode, we talked about neurodivergent relationships, late identification, autism, ADHD, AuDHD, and the ways our differences can create tension when we don't yet understand what's happening underneath the surface.

But this conversation was about more than diagnosis.

It was about what happens when we stop assuming everyone experiences the world the way we do.

• Why some neurodivergent people are missed.
• How overstimulation and rejection sensitivity affect relationships.
• Why self-awareness changes how we interpret conflict.
• Why "everyone is a little autistic" misses the point.
• How race and marginalization shape neurodivergent self-discovery.
• What it means to love ourselves without trying to erase our differences.

• Follow Bowen on IG: https://www.instagram.com/drbotyler/
• Subscribe to the Substack (@bowentylermarshall)
• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bowen-marshall-phd-lpcc-s-b62b2621/

• "Fear" by Kendrick Lamar (beware of language): https://open.spotify.com/track/23luOrEVHMfoX0AhfbQuS6?si=c0fb1d7e485e49cf
• If you want to look up the "Atlanta" episode I referenced, go here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Slaps
• SPARK Autism research program: sparkforautism.org
• CHADD - ADHD research: https://chadd.org/research/
• Autism Science Foundation: autismsciencefoundation.org
• The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ youth mental health): thetrevorproject.org

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted self-discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

Neurodivergent, Neurodiversity, Autism, ADHD ,AuDHD, Neurodivergent Relationships, Late Diagnosis, Self-Discovery, Mental Health, Relationships

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e20transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Bowen Tyler Marshall, a licensed psychotherapist, PhD, and author specializing in ADHD, autism, relationships, and trauma - for a conversation I've been excited to have for MONTHS. If you're eager to discuss the challenges of neurodivergent relationships, THIS IS YOUR EPISODE. We dig into the science of late diagnosis, why so many people get completely missed by traditional frameworks, and how neurodivergent traits that look like rejection or emotional unavailability are actually nervous system responses being misread as character flaws. We even discuss something that might need me to hold a few hands...when healing and growing into who you actually are, not everyone in your life can make that journey with you. This one is for the late diagnosed, the ones who always felt like something was off, and everyone doing the work to live authentically and have healthy, fulfilling relationships.

• Different brains create different relationship needs.
• Late diagnosis changes more than identity.
• Compassion isn't the same as sacrifice.
• Relationships need understanding, not assumptions.
• Misunderstanding isn't the same as rejection.
• Healing sometimes costs you your closest relationships.
• Not every conflict is personal.

• Follow Bowen on IG: https://www.instagram.com/drbotyler/
• Subscribe to the Substack (@bowentylermarshall)
• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bowen-marshall-phd-lpcc-s-b62b2621/

• SPARK Autism research program: sparkforautism.org
• CHADD - ADHD research: https://chadd.org/research/
• Autism Science Foundation: autismsciencefoundation.org
• The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ youth mental health): thetrevorproject.org

• Want to go deeper? Schedule a short call to explore working with me as a speaker or personal self-discovery coach: sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

neurodivergence, ADHD, autism, relationships, couples therapy, mental health, therapy, communication, late diagnosis, self-awareness, compassion neurodivergent relationships, self-compassion, boundaries, marginalized communities, late diagnosis, neurodivergent healing, emotional understanding, trauma, identity, compassion

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e19transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this episode, I reflect on my conversation with Kwentin Shelton, focusing on the importance of early diagnosis in neurodivergent individuals, the struggles faced by gifted individuals, and the significance of believing in oneself. The discussion emphasizes the need for compassion, support, and understanding in educational and personal contexts, highlighting that one's starting point does not dictate their future success.

• The importance of early diagnosis for better outcomes.
• Gifted individuals can face unique challenges.
• Curiosity about oneself is essential for growth.
• Support systems are crucial for navigating struggles.
• Giftedness does not equate to perfection in all areas.
• Self-belief is key to overcoming societal doubts.
• Community support can enhance personal journeys.
• Labels can stigmatize rather than help individuals.
• Education systems need to be more inclusive.
• Personal growth is a continuous journey, not a destination.

• Follow him on IG: @asd_by_kas
• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kwentin-shelton/

• Kennesaw State Accessibility Collaboration Team

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted self-discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

neurodivergence, giftedness, early diagnosis, self-discovery, education, support, community, personal growth, mental health, inclusion

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e18transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this episode, Kwentin Shelton shares his journey of neurodivergence, early diagnosis, and navigating the educational system as a Black man. We explore misconceptions about autism, the importance of representation, and strategies for support and advocacy. Kwentin Shelton shares his inspiring journey overcoming bullying, embracing neurodivergence, and pursuing his passions in tech, education, and creative projects. Discover how community, self-belief, and resilience can transform lives.

• Early diagnosis and its impact on self-esteem
• Misconceptions about autism and giftedness
• The importance of representation and support in education
• Challenges faced by Black neurodivergent individuals
• Strategies for advocacy and self-awareness
• The role of societal support and accommodations bullying and resilience
• The importance of community and safe spaces
• Self-belief and overcoming stereotypes

• Follow him on IG: @asd_by_kas
• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kwentin-shelton/

• Kennesaw State Accessibility Collaboration Team

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted or neurodivergent discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

neurodivergence, autism, education, representation, advocacy, Black men, support strategies, misconceptions, early diagnosis neurodivergence, autism, bullying, education, community, resilience, self-belief, tech, representation, empowerment

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e17transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In this reflection episode, I discuss my conversation with Dr. Derek Porter, which focused on the themes of burnout, authenticity, privilege, and the societal pressures that shape our experiences. We spent time discussing the costs associated with masking one's true self, the complexities of navigating burnout in various spaces, and the need for equitable systems that support mental health and well-being. I listeners to rethink traditional notions of intelligence and speed, advocating for a more compassionate and understanding approach to personal and professional relationships.

• There's a cost of masking that affects our well-being.
• Burnout is a systemic issue, not just personal.
• The grind culture erodes individuals over time.
• Authenticity should be prioritized in all spaces.
• Leadership roles often come with extra burdens.
• Equitable compensation is necessary for extra responsibilities.
• Speed is not the only measure of intelligence.
• We need to create systems that support mental health.

• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/derek-porter/
• Check out his work on Linktree: https://linktr.ee/drderekporter
• Email him at [email protected]

• Confidence Mapping - Peter Atwater
• Maslach Burnout Inventory — Framework for understanding burnout
• The Canary Code — Book illustrating early warning signs in systems
• Carol Dweck’s work on Grit — Understanding resilience and perseverance in the context of burnout and systemics

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted or neurodivergent discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

burnout, authenticity, privilege, community, leadership, intelligence, speed, mental health, relationships, equity

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Transcript (provided by Riverside - forgive any errors): https://link.sheldongayisbugn.com/s3e16transcript

Follow I Must Be BUGN on IG @sheldongayisbugn

In Part 2 and the conclusion of this episode, I continue our discussion with Dr. Derek Porter around the critical issues of burnout, organizational failure, and the importance of understanding neurodivergence in educational and community spaces. We get a little deeper into the challenges of creating inclusive environments in schools and how these challenges are particularly impacting already marginalized groups such as women and BIPOC folks. Derek then leaves us with his lessons and wishes for schools and for society at large.

• Organizations that neglect staff and community needs face measurable losses in retention and engagement.
• Confidence mapping can significantly enhance trust and clarity within teams and communities.
• Addressing burnout requires structural changes, including setting boundaries and transparent communication.
• Understanding neurodivergence is crucial for creating inclusive environments that support diverse needs.
• Leadership accountability and honest feedback loops are essential for organizational health.

• Connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/derek-porter/
• Check out his work on Linktree: https://linktr.ee/drderekporter
• Email him at [email protected]

• Confidence Mapping - Peter Atwater
• Maslach Burnout Inventory — Framework for understanding burnout
• The Canary Code — Book illustrating early warning signs in systems
• Carol Dweck’s work on Grit — Understanding resilience and perseverance in the context of burnout and systemics

• Hire me to speak or as your personal gifted or neurodivergent discovery coach!: https://sheldongayisbugn.com
• Free list of Therapists for Melanated and Marginalized Groups: https://sheldongayisbugn.com/#resources
• Free GroupMe Community for Talented and Gifted adults: https://groupme.com/join_group/108040800/igLaxqNG
• ND Connect - Online community for neurodivergent people: ndconnect.app
• Umbrella ND - Non-profit focused on neurodivergent advocacy: https://umbrellaopensdoors.org/resources

organizational health, mental health, diversity, inclusion, confidence mapping, burnout, neurodivergence, employee engagement, mental health, workplace culture, self-care, collective care, emotional well-being, productivity, systems design burnout culture, human connection, education challenges, decision fatigue, BIPOC educators, community needs, teacher retention, wellness days, equity and inclusion, systemic issues education, teacher shortages, student experience, teacher burnout, gender dynamics, neurodivergence, classroom strategies, confidence building, inclusive education, educational solutions

Intro and Outro music provided by byrdversion1 - "Understand" from the album Nevermore

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.