This week, Joe and Emily dive into the wild world of modern slang — from Gen Alpha kids shouting “6–7” for no reason to grown adults still saying “dope,” “fire,” and every phrase that instantly makes us feel forty years older.

They break down the slang they grew up with, the slang kids use now, and the words nobody our age should be saying anymore.

Along the way, things spiral into mall nostalgia, weird hometown expressions, some truly strange news stories (yes, including a butt-sniffing bandit), spider season in Australia, and even an AI-generated criminal sketch that resembles Joe.

It’s chaos, it’s comfort, and it’s proof we may officially be too old for slang.

We kick off with the strangest headline yet — Bananas in Pyjamas held for ransom by the Russian mafia — and somehow end up talking Scotland travel plans, ancient clan drama, surprise DNA results, and bald men getting kissed for science.

🍌 Just another normal day on If You Would’ve Told Me.

Things get weird fast in Episode 2! 🎉
Joe and Emily start off swapping stories about writing, poetry, and old photo albums… and somehow end up discussing poop-themed restaurants, modern-day plague cases, and rats that love jazz. 🐀🎷

Along the way, they laugh through nostalgia, bad technology, and bizarre headlines that only this podcast could tie together. It’s equal parts hilarious, gross, and surprisingly thoughtful — just how we like it.

🎧 If You Would’ve Told Me – Season 2, Episode 2

🎙️ Episode 1: “Easy There, Eagle Eyes”
Season 2 kicks off with Joe and Emily catching up after summer break — and of course, the conversation goes everywhere. From the chaos of world headlines to the magic of aquariums, Disney trips, and summer comedy shows, they find humor in everything… even Joe’s “eagle eyes” moment that turned into a fender-bender.

They also talk about trusting experts vs. the “guy in the car with 7-Eleven shades,” why everyone’s a headline reader now, and how two simple phrases can save any political conversation. It’s classic If You Would’ve Told Me: funny, honest, curious, and a little bit chaotic.

Highlights:
🦅 The “Easy There, Eagle Eyes” story
🎢 Fearless kids and Tower of Terror
🎙️ Why crowd work might be cooling off
🚶 The Italian husband who walked 280 miles after a fight

Listen, laugh, and remember—life’s just one big tangent.

It’s the Season 1 finale! Joe and Emily wrap up 23 episodes with a little bit of everything: Emily’s Iceland trip (trolls, puffins, and strict moss laws), a 400-year-old shark nicknamed Norma, and the bizarre story of a passenger who died mid-flight… only for their body to go missing.

We also dive into the science of “three-parent babies,” the quirks of comedy audiences, and the eternal debate between cruises, all-inclusives, and solo travel. And of course, we finish the season with a lip-reading game that gives us instant classics like “Bring me a bagel, not a baby” and “Kooky Crocodiles Get Down.”

Thanks for laughing with us through Season 1 — we’ll be back in October with more stories, more bits, and a brand-new season!

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Joe and Emily take a ChatGPT-fueled trip through what makes New Jersey famous. We debate accents, argue about skorts, and dive into the weirdest news stories - including dog pee drug tests, pole dancing military wives, and the horror movie idea you never knew you needed. It’s Brutal & Beautiful, Jersey style.

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Joe and Emily ask ChatGPT what it knows about their podcast, dive into the weird world of AI therapy, and unpack foodie calls, bro code drama, and TSA crotch scans. Plus, going viral for the wrong reasons, handling trolls, and why unsolicited robot validation might be all we need.

🎧 Subscribe & Listen now

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Joe and Emily go from bald heads to betrayal bombs — literally. Joe shares how he lost his hair, got his mole flicked at Dunkin’ Donuts, and embraced the bald life. Emily opens up about her undercut era, bad haircuts, and questionable dye jobs.

Then they dive into a viral cheating callout at a birthday party, TikTok scandals, and the weirdest stuff Americans do (like dipping pizza in ranch). Plus: sleep hacks, chaotic dreams, and Portuguese grandma-approved desserts.
You’re gonna love this one.

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Would you move to a remote island for €84K? Joe and Emily explore real relocation offers from around the world—then spiral into hilarious fast food rankings 🍔, a $4,000 Dumb Dumb lollipop disaster 🍭, and why White Castle might cause mild depression 😅.

Also in this episode:
🎨 Bob Ross documentaries & true crime
📚 Classic literature that actually woos people
🎤 The 30-minute stand-up special trend
🎉 Birthday plans, scallops, and cigar lounges

Hit play for travel talk, comedy debates, food cravings, and total chaos—in the best way.

This week on If You Would’ve Told Me, Joe and Emily dive into “Would You Rather,” play a few rounds of F, Marry, Kill, and discuss whether two comedians dating is a good idea—or a disaster waiting to happen. We also unpack the internet’s favorite overused line: “And I felt that.”

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Please Follow, Rate, & Review!Full video available on Spotify & YouTube

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