Hello, everyone!

Well, it’s hometown dates, and our Golden Bachelor, Mel, is happy to answer any questions with one-word answers. In the spirit of fairness, he’s unwilling to tell family members that he sees a future with anyone at the moment, deeming his situation unique and complicated.

Some Guy in Austin and I discuss how Debbie’s family is totally fine with this, as long as Mel comes back and plays football with them in the backyard. Peggy and Cindy’s daughters are a little more guarded.

In the end, Mel chooses between three women who perch precariously on a tiny wooden beam laid over the swimming pool. The woman without a rose manages NOT to fall into the swimming pool as she dismounts, heading to the rejection bench and awaiting the rejection SUV. Ten bucks says this woman is the next Golden Bachelorette!