Hello, everyone!

Some Guy in Austin is back this week, and we discuss all things Golden Bachelor! We have tons of questions to answer, such as:

No one wants to see your upper thigh, Nicholle. Correction, no one besides Mel wants to see your upper thigh, Nicholle.

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Hello, everyone!

We are back with Golden Bachelor Mel and his journey to find a woman who doesn’t care about what he said months ago about wanting to find a match who is fifteen years younger than he is, with no artificial joints. Isn’t this fun?

ABC wasted no time finding delightful women with very forgiving hearts. They think Mel is a catch, and they will stop at nothing to prove to him that women in their golden years are full of life! Full of energy! And, if your name is Nicholle, full of cringe-worthy moments that involve her tongue down Mel’s throat.

Can someone find me a couch cushion to hide behind, please? Thanks!

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Hello, everyone!

If you are a reader, this is the episode for you! I am with my book-loving friend Paula, who shared her book recommendations with us last year! She’s thankfully agreed to indulge me with a podcast, and from my research, her list is pretty good!

Please know that I provide nothing other than an occasional question of verification or a hearty laugh. It was the best decision, trust me. Paula is a pro, and she didn’t really need to know that I’m currently reading the Throne of Glass series. For the third time.

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PAULA’S CHOICES

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Hello, everyone!

Well, COVID is still hanging on tight to my lungs, which is super fun. Not only am I a walking zombie, but I just learned some disturbing news that I share with Some Guy in Austin! Thoughts and prayers to me, and to Dale and Kat for not pulling off a win.

But don’t worry, Kale. There are no losers on this podcast. Here, we are all winners. Unless you come at me with some nasty green beans, then it’s over.

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Hello, everyone!

Covid hit me hard right before we recorded. Please disregard my intermittent giggling, the occasional coughs that went unedited, and the deep breaths I took randomly throughout the episode.

I’m off to take a nap now. Enjoy the show!

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Hello, everyone!

Welcome to the Survivor version of The Bachelor, where all notions of people falling in love for the right reasons have shifted to strategizing how to stab your best friend in the back for a chance to win half a million dollars. Uncle Neil and his flashy diamond engagement rings are so yesterday.

Some Guy in Austin and I break down everything you need to know, discussing how and why people got voted off the island. Not one but two couples were forced to leave paradise, and the results may shock you as to who is left to outwit, outsmart, and outplay the others.

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Hello, everyone!

The game has officially changed, my friends, and Some Guy in Austin and I discuss what we think is going to happen in the upcoming episodes. Now that everyone has officially coupled up either for the sake of love or the sake of half a million dollars, we have no doubt that ABC is about to come in and ruffle some feathers.

Bailey and Jeremy are potentially going down. Parisa and Brian are about to be dunzo. Lea can barely speak to Jon-athon at the moment, and the goldens are trying not to pass out from dehydration.

All that to say, I think some feelings are going to get hurt, and my hope is that Jess and Spencer can pull out both a win and an engagement by the time Wells shouts “LAST CALL” from the bar. A girl can dream.

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Hello, everyone!

Some Guy in Austin is back, and let me tell you, he is LOVING this season of Bachelor in Paradise. Okay, loving it may be a bit of an exaggeration, but he is tolerating it. Yes, that’s the right word. Some Guy in Austin is TOLERATING Bachelor in Paradise because he knows he has a job to do and that is to report on the ins and outs of this season’s debauchery.

Between the feathery “Birds of Paradise” contest and two goldens enjoying a psychedelic trip on chocolate-infused drugs, we’ve got a lot to talk about this episode.

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Hello, everyone!

This is Lara, and I am excited for you to listen to the show, even though this was one of the cringiest episodes in Bachelor in Paradise history. Was it the golden body shots that did me in? Or Captain Kim’s poem?

Thank goodness it doesn’t really matter now. I’ve deaded it. Deaded. It.

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Hello, everyone!

Well, this episode is a bit different for two reasons. First, I am not sharing the mic with Some Guy in Austin, and second, I’m not recording in Houston! I’ve taken the show on the road for vacation!

But that doesn’t stop me from clapping alongside those lucky people who are trying to find love. Consider me Team Spencer and Jenn FOREVER!

Now, about those goldens, I am all for those seventy-year-olds to find love, too. But do I want to see them making out on inflatable unicorns and doing body shots all day?

Nope. That’s a hard pass.