Hello, everyone!

Covid hit me hard right before we recorded. Please disregard my intermittent giggling, the occasional coughs that went unedited, and the deep breaths I took randomly throughout the episode.

I’m off to take a nap now. Enjoy the show!

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Hello, everyone!

Welcome to the Survivor version of The Bachelor, where all notions of people falling in love for the right reasons have shifted to strategizing how to stab your best friend in the back for a chance to win half a million dollars. Uncle Neil and his flashy diamond engagement rings are so yesterday.

Some Guy in Austin and I break down everything you need to know, discussing how and why people got voted off the island. Not one but two couples were forced to leave paradise, and the results may shock you as to who is left to outwit, outsmart, and outplay the others.

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Hello, everyone!

The game has officially changed, my friends, and Some Guy in Austin and I discuss what we think is going to happen in the upcoming episodes. Now that everyone has officially coupled up either for the sake of love or the sake of half a million dollars, we have no doubt that ABC is about to come in and ruffle some feathers.

Bailey and Jeremy are potentially going down. Parisa and Brian are about to be dunzo. Lea can barely speak to Jon-athon at the moment, and the goldens are trying not to pass out from dehydration.

All that to say, I think some feelings are going to get hurt, and my hope is that Jess and Spencer can pull out both a win and an engagement by the time Wells shouts “LAST CALL” from the bar. A girl can dream.

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Hello, everyone!

Some Guy in Austin is back, and let me tell you, he is LOVING this season of Bachelor in Paradise. Okay, loving it may be a bit of an exaggeration, but he is tolerating it. Yes, that’s the right word. Some Guy in Austin is TOLERATING Bachelor in Paradise because he knows he has a job to do and that is to report on the ins and outs of this season’s debauchery.

Between the feathery “Birds of Paradise” contest and two goldens enjoying a psychedelic trip on chocolate-infused drugs, we’ve got a lot to talk about this episode.

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Hello, everyone!

This is Lara, and I am excited for you to listen to the show, even though this was one of the cringiest episodes in Bachelor in Paradise history. Was it the golden body shots that did me in? Or Captain Kim’s poem?

Thank goodness it doesn’t really matter now. I’ve deaded it. Deaded. It.

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Hello, everyone!

Well, this episode is a bit different for two reasons. First, I am not sharing the mic with Some Guy in Austin, and second, I’m not recording in Houston! I’ve taken the show on the road for vacation!

But that doesn’t stop me from clapping alongside those lucky people who are trying to find love. Consider me Team Spencer and Jenn FOREVER!

Now, about those goldens, I am all for those seventy-year-olds to find love, too. But do I want to see them making out on inflatable unicorns and doing body shots all day?

Nope. That’s a hard pass.

Hello, everyone!

Bachelor in Paradise is BACK, and I’m here to tell you that I AM HERE FOR IT! Some Guy in Austin is still questioning the new format, but I am one hundred percent leaning into the chach factory that the new show runners have cooked up for us.

In this episode, we cover love matches, love triangles, and lost love. We also discuss ways the rejected boys could have done things differently, such as having a conversation, not being a dork, and calming down.

We’re looking at you, Hakeem. Bless your heart, my guy. Bless your heart.

Hello, everyone!

It’s been a minute since ABC aired a season of Bachelor in Paradise, and let me tell you, I am READY for the debauchery. As long as the golden bachelor and bachelorettes are more of a mentor situation, I’m here for the shenanigans that will unfold on the beaches of Costa Rica.

Does Some Guy in Austin remember half of these people? No. But that’s why I’m here! In this episode, I’ll provide little tidbits of information to help you scourge your brain for any memory of these jokers.

This does not apply to Ricky. No one knows who he is, and that’s okay.

Hello, everyone!

Summer is definitely summering here in Texas, but the heat can’t stop Some Guy in Austin and me from podcasting in the glorious air conditioning about things that bother us. He sent me a list of his “pet peeves,” and some turned out to be more of an idiosyncrasy variety.

Pointing that out to him, it turns out, is also a pet peeve of his. Go figure.

At least I didn’t touch his food.

EPISODE NOTES:

75 Pet Peeves That Are Annoying

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Hello, everyone!

My roommate Lara and I just got back from a wedding in Canada, and in this episode, we are going to share details about everything you need to know about Lake Louise, the Fairmont, and this incredible drink we discovered. No, it’s not a double, double from Tim Horton. It’s much smoother than that!

EPISODE NOTES:

Ten Foot Henry

Fairmont Lake Louise

Emerald Lake

Fairview Gin

Sky Bistro

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