Hello, everyone!

Well, Joan is well on her way to finding her one true love, letting him go for a few days, and then greeting him with a warm hug when he returns. My roommate Lara and I have various thoughts on this development, and we share them with you along with deep questions, like:

Do we need to see sixty-year-old men as Chippendales?

Do we need to see sixty-year-old men thrusting?

Do we need to see the tongues of sixty-year-old men before a kiss has commenced?

And is Mark the cutest thing ever in a fireman's costume?

The answers can be found in Episode 359. Enjoy!

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Hello everyone!

Well, Some Guy in Austin and I had a delightful conversation about Joan’s golden adventure to find love, and I learned a few things along the way.

Number one: You should always stretch and have a nice warm bowl of Quaker Oats before a rigorous game of kickball.

Number two: If you are over sixty years of age, nine times out of ten, no one should see your sternum when you are allegedly fully clothed.

And number three: Wayne Newton, Mr. Las Vegas himself, is NOT dead! For some reason, I think that needs to be reported.

Danke Schoen!

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Hello, everyone!

Well, I hope you are ready for an in-depth conversation about prom, because Some Guy in Austin and I circle that drain for about eight minutes. Yes, I need to know what he wore, and yes, I need to know what song was playing when he slow-danced with his date.

We also talk a little bit about Joan and her golden suitors, who might be more interested in their lack of closet space than our fair-haired bachelorette.

I'm looking at you, Pascal.

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Hello, everyone!

We have entered into our Golden Bachelorette era and Joan is ready to find love with some of the most adorable men you ever did see. Some Guy in Austin and I break it down for you in this episode and let you know who cried, who killed it, and who thinks Joan is like a warm pair of sweatpants straight out of the dryer.

You're my boy, Keith!

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It was three hours of straight-up humiliation during Jenn's finale, and I have to say I'm very disappointed in franchise showrunners. It's clear that they couldn't care less about the humans who have signed their lives over to the show.

How many times did I ask, "IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?" About forty-seven. Coupled with a million eye rolls. Let's all pour one out for Jenn tonight and hope she finds love in the Dancing with the Stars ballroom.

It's the least ABC can do.

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Hello there!

Welcome to everyone's favorite episode...THE FANTASY SUITES! Some Guy in Austin and I break it all down and discuss the important pieces of information you need to know about the forego card dates, including:

Is Molly Mesnick the new Trista?

Did Jesse Palmer play golf the entire time he was in Hawaii?

Could Marcus be any more precious?

And how do we feel about matching shirts and bottoms as an outfit?

Some say it's fine. Others say it's like wearing pajamas in public and is that really a bad thing?

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Hello everyone!

If you've been around this podcast or even my recap for longer than a minute, you probably know the moment I checked out of Devin's hometown date. Let me give you a hint. It started with the word "Running" and ended with the word "Club."

Some Guy in Austin and I break down all of the intricacies of each hometown date and share our thoughts about pounding coffee after a mile hike in the heat, pounding champagne after a friendly game of lacrosse, and pounding donuts in a grocery store full of animatronics.

I'll take the dancing milk carton and JV Chick-fil-A cow please, and thank you.

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Once upon a time, I saw the Broadway musical Wicked and was forever changed by the story of a green woman named Elphaba and her popular roommate Galinda (the “ga” is silent). As these two ladies introduced me to another side of Oz, launching their friendship at the University of Shiz and getting into trouble at the Emerald City, not once did I think about Seattle. 

Not. Once. 

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Hello everyone!

Well, Some Guy in Austin is back this week to talk about all the things surrounding Jenn’s journey to find love. We cover a lot of ground in this episode, including but not limited to:

Aggressive turtlenecks. Is this a thing?

Should we be worried that Jenn’s ex-boyfriend looks nothing like her current crop of suitors?

Was the rain on Jon-athon’s date real or fake?

And how hard is it to herd sheep?

The answer is extremely difficult. Especially when you don’t open the gate. Major foul, guys. Major foul. 

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I don’t know if you know this, but New Zealand is the perfect place to fall in love. It’s also the perfect place to hate on Devin, pressure Jenn into jumping off a building, escort a wannabe bad boy directly to the awaiting rejection SUV, and rekindle a romance that you thought was smack dab in the Friend Zone. 

Who's Matthew? No one knows! And I can't wait to find out!

EPISODE NOTES:

Click HERE for this week’s bachelorette recap!

Click HERE for my official Bachelorette cheat sheet!

Click HERE to be sucked in by the stats on Bachelor Data!

SHOW NOTES:

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