IMbetween Podcast on Marriage, Parenting, Faith, and Everything In Between

We interview Dr. Charles Fay, president of the Love and Logic Institute, about parenting strategies from his book "Raising Mentally Strong Kids." Dr. Fay emphasizes allowing children to experience and learn from mistakes, fostering resilience, confidence, kindness, and responsibility. He discusses the negative side effects of overprotective parenting and introduces practical techniques for encouraging problem-solving and independence. The episode also explores the role of mental hygiene, highlighting the need to challenge automatic negative thoughts and promote truthful thinking to support children's mental health.

Dr. Charles is an internationally recognized author, consultant, and public speaker. He is also president of the Love and Logic Institute, which became part of Amen Clinics in 2020. Millions of educators, mental health professionals, and parents worldwide have benefited from Dr. Fay's down-to-earth solutions to the most common and frustrating behaviors displayed by youth of all ages. These methods come directly from years of experience serving severely disturbed youth and their families in psychiatric hospitals, public and private schools, homes, and other settings. For more information, visit loveandlogic.com

For the full show notes, including discussion prompts for you as a couple, go to IMbetween.org/episode185

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Is it possible to recover from an affair? Can you learn to trust your spouse again? Josh and Katie Walters candidly discuss their journey through betrayal and the rebuilding of trust in their marriage. Katie opens up about her emotional affair and the subsequent guilt and self-reflection she faced. Josh shares his initial shock and the struggle to process the betrayal, highlighting the importance of his decision to forgive and stay committed to the marriage. They explore the emotional cost involved in healing, the role of their faith in guiding them towards forgiveness and restoration, and the beauty that awaited them on the other side of the betrayal. It's not just their story; it's an invitation to anyone wrestling with forgiveness to find solace in the shared experience and redemptive power of grace. 

In This Episode, You'll Hear About:

For the full show notes, including discussion prompts for you as a couple about this episode, go to IMbetween.org/episode184

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Daniel and Christina discuss the intricacies of marriage with Brian and Jen Goins and how marriage is like a living art form that demands creativity, evolves, and requires a blending of different perspectives and experiences. The episode highlights the re-release of "The Art of Marriage" series, which encourages couples to engage in open dialogue about love, intimacy, and the divine representation of God's love in marriage.

In This Episode, You'll Hear About:

For the full show notes, including discussion prompts for you as a couple about this episode, go to IMbetween.org/episode183

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Ever caught yourself scrolling through your phone while your child's voice fades into the background? Yup! Us too. Let's face it, the era of smartphones has us all hooked. But did you know that this habit might be doing more harm than good to our kids? Distracted parenting isn't just about not hearing their stories—it's about the message we send about their value to us. In Episode 182, Daniel and Christina breakdown the costs of distracted parenting and discuss how we can respond to our children's bids for attention to foster intimacy and connection.

In This Episode, You'll Hear About The Following:

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

For the full show notes, including discussion prompts for you as a couple about this episode, go to IMbetween.org/episode182

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Daniel and Christina explore the nuances of apologizing in relationships by discussing the 5 Apology Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. They delve into the emotional depth of expressing regret, the challenge of accepting responsibility without excuses, the significance of making restitution to show sincerity, and the commitment required for planned change to rebuild trust. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, they underscore the importance of understanding and using these apology languages to foster forgiveness and reconciliation with the ones you love.

In This Episode, You'll Hear About The Following:

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

For the full show notes, including discussion prompts for you as a couple about this episode, go to IMbetween.org/episode181

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Daniel and Christina delve into the complexities of resolving conflicts in a marriage, particularly in the presence of children. They discuss the importance of empathy, active listening, and collaboration in handling disagreements, and share personal anecdotes and strategies for effective communication. They also talk about the impact of parental conflict resolution on children, emphasizing the need for transparency and the creation of a safe space for family discussions. The episode offers practical advice for couples to navigate marital conflicts constructively while fostering a positive environment for their kids.

In This Episode, You'll Hear About The Following:

Timestamps:

Is it okay to fight in front of the kids? (00:00:01) Exploring the impact of parental conflict on children and the nuances of healthy conflict resolution within a marriage.

The generational effect of parental conflict (00:00:57) The impact of parental conflict on children's perceptions of relationships and the importance of modeling healthy conflict resolution.

The harmful effects of hostile conflicts (00:02:13) The negative impact of frequent hostile conflicts on children and the signs that a relationship needs help.

Gottman approach to conflict resolution (00:04:47) Understanding the concept of perpetual problems in relationships and the goal of regulating, rather than resolving, conflicts.

Listening and being heard (00:06:00) The importance of active listening and summarization in conflict resolution, fostering constructive dialogue and mutual understanding.

Empathy and perspective taking (00:13:33) The role of empathy in conflict resolution, its impact on emotional well-being, and fostering a deeper connection in relationships.

Empathy and perspective taking (00:18:39) The importance of empathy and perspective-taking in conflict resolution and share practical techniques for validation and understanding.

Collaborative conflict resolution (00:21:13) The significance of collaboration in conflict resolution, highlighting the need for mutual willingness to find sustainable solutions and the benefits of brainstorming together.

Transparency and family dynamics (00:25:40) The segment explores the educational value of children witnessing healthy conflict resolution, emphasizing the resilience of relationships and the importance of transparent communication within the family.

Repairing relationships (00:28:02) The importance of explicit communication and repair in the aftermath of conflicts, emphasizing the impact of parental transparency on children's understanding and emotional well-being.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

Need to learn how to fight well? Listen to our previous episodes about conflict resolution.

For the full show notes, including discussion prompts for you as a couple about this episode, go to IMbetween.org/episode180

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Daniel and Christina discuss strategies for deepening love in your relationship. They explore how to address complaints constructively, repair conflicts, and avoid contempt. They also highlight the role of physical touch, expressing gratitude, and the power of forgiveness in strengthening marital bonds. The episode provides practical advice and personal insights for couples looking to enhance their relationship and foster a deeper connection.

In This Episode, You'll Hear About The Following:

Timestamps:

Share your complaint without pointing fingers (00:07:41) Discussing the difference between sharing complaints and criticizing your spouse, emphasizing the importance of addressing specific issues.

Repair conflicts with skill (00:11:14) Exploring the concept of solvable and perpetual conflicts in relationships and the significance of addressing and bouncing back from disagreements.

Stick to talking about the issues at hand (00:12:37) Emphasizing the importance of avoiding name-calling, personal attacks, and contempt in arguments, and the need to understand underlying emotions.

The impact of contempt on relationships (00:15:07) Exploring the destructive nature of contempt in relationships, its role as a predictor of divorce, and the need to avoid displaying contemptuous behavior.

Recognizing and addressing signs of contempt (00:16:26) Discussing how contempt can develop over time in relationships and the importance of recognizing and addressing signs of contemptuous behavior.

Moving toward reconciliation and repairing (00:17:26) Highlighting the significance of acknowledging and apologizing for displaying contemptuous behavior and moving towards reconciliation and repairing the relationship.

Extending the space between feelings and thoughts (00:17:48) Discussing how to extend the time between feeling anger and reacting, to respond instead.

Showing love through physical touch (00:19:26) Exploring the benefits of physical touch in relationships and the impact of a six-second kiss.

Growing fondness and admiration (00:21:18) Encouraging the practice of expressing gratitude and appreciation for one's spouse's positive qualities.

Seeking first to understand and then to be understood (00:23:04) Emphasizing the importance of active listening and understanding in communication.

Practicing apologizing and forgiving (00:28:19) Discussing the significance of forgiveness and the process of seeking and granting forgiveness in relationships.

Conclusion and episode recap (00:31:56) Summarizing the six ways to deepen love in marriage and expressing gratitude to the audience.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

Learn the difference between perpetual and solvable conflicts and how to handle each of them: 

Learn about the importance of turning toward your spouse and responding to their "bids"

For the full show notes, including discussion prompts for you as a couple about this episode, go to IMbetween.org/episode179

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Jason VanRuler, a therapist and author, discusses the transformative power of facing one's past. He shares his personal journey from a troubled childhood to professional success, highlighting the importance of self-reflection and seeking help to overcome recurring life challenges. Daniel and Christina explore with Jason the various ways individuals can begin addressing their issues, whether through therapy, journaling, or simply talking to a trusted friend. Jason emphasizes that healing from the past involves changing our relationship with it, reducing its emotional intensity, and no longer allowing it to dictate our present and future.

In This Episode, You'll Hear About The Following:

Meet Jason VanRuler:

Jason began his career in 2011 and has worked with many populations over the years, ranging from persons who are incarcerated to top CEOs, performers and artists, and just about everyone in between. Jason has extensive experience as a clinician, coach, and speaker and operates a multistate private practice. In 2018, Jason joined Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, TN, where he serves as a group leader and facilitator. Jason is known for his ability to relate and connect with his clients and offer hope to those who have felt hopeless. He has an engaged and rapidly growing online audience for his insightful, short videos sharing practical tips for psychological care, self-help, and healthy relationships.

Jason enjoys spending time with his wife and three children playing games and traveling. In his spare time, Jason enjoys cycling, running, music, fly fishing, and all things personal development related.

For the full show notes, including discussion prompts for you as a couple about this episode, go to IMbetween.org/episode178

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Daniel and Christina discuss the importance of discipleship at home. They emphasize the need for parents to set an example in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity, and discuss how children can sometimes guide and correct their parents. Sharing personal experiences, they explore the significance of aligning actions with words, as children learn more from what we do than what we say. They also discuss the importance of personal growth and helping children grow in these areas, and the role of spiritual disciplines in this process. They conclude by reflecting on the need for genuine faith and a consistent relationship with God.

In this episode, you'll hear about the following:

For the full show notes, including discussion prompts for you as a couple about this episode, go to IMbetween.org/episode177

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Canadian Certified Counsellor Nadine Crain discusses the impact of purity culture on parenthood. She explains the origins and effects of purity culture, highlighting how it emphasized abstinence and tied a person's worth to their sexual purity. Nadine emphasizes the need to develop a healthier relationship with our bodies. Also, she discusses the importance of communication with our bodies and how to navigate the tension between teaching a biblical ethic around sexuality while avoiding the harmful aspects of purity culture. 

In This Episode, You'll Hear About The Following:

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

Meet Nadine Crain:

Nadine is a Canadian Certified Counsellor with a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Nadine is a pastor’s wife, and has served in ministry with her husband Brandon for the past 13 years. They live in Edmonton, AB, and have three daughters.

Nadine’s passion is helping Christians connect their mental, emotional, and spiritual health with how they live and experience their bodies. In her counselling practice Nadine works with couples and individuals who are struggling with anxiety, emotional regulation, recovering from religious trauma, or struggling with sexual intimacy and communication. Nadine also offers Pre-Marital Counselling, and presentations for church groups.

While completing her Master’s degree, Nadine chose to research “How Purity Culture Has Impacted the Self-Esteem, Sexuality and Spirituality of Evangelical Women.” Her findings from that project have inspired the trajectory of her counselling practice and ministry.

For the full show notes, including discussion prompts for you as a couple about this episode, go to IMbetween.org/episode176

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