In the Wake

*TRIGGER WARNING*
This is a heavier episode as we speak of rape, sexual assault, and the criminal justice system. If you are suffering or recovering from a mood or mental disorder or are a victim of sexual assault, please listen with caution or skip this episode entirely. The last thing I would want is for hearing these things to set you back in your healing journey or trigger negative thoughts or emotions. 

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Katie McMahon is a survivor of sexual assault and now turned advocate. Career-wise she is a  speech therapist in K-12 Schools. She is the creator and host of Voices Not Victims, a platform to shatter silence, end shame, and amplify voices of healing, activism, and social justice. Katie is involved in curating educational material for Consent Education and believes prevention is the future.

In this episode, Katie shares her story of sexual assault. After she came home from traveling solo in a foreign country, she was on a high feeling so confident and independent. Once she was back home, she was sexually assaulted by a stranger, wrecking her confidence and sense of self. She takes us through what it was like reporting but not receiving justice as the criminal justice system failed her and played a role in victim blaming. In order to heal, she explored many different routes of healing from EMDR therapy to seeing a medicine man in Bali. She explains how important consent education is and how she's teaching her students to advocate for themselves and use their voices. 

Katie shares more on the following:

• How the 2016 election sparked the fire beneath her activism and speaking up about her sexual assault
• PTSD and living in survival mode post assault
• How the criminal justice system failed her
• Exploring many forms of healing -- therapy, EMDR, energy healing, meditation, and a PTSD out patient program
• Shame and victim blaming 
• Learning to take her power back and quit blaming herself
• Consent education
• Helping others find their voice

Tune in to hear the rest of her story and message!!

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Resources:

• National Sexual Assault Hotline: Call 1.800.656.HOPE (4673)
• We Are HER
• RAINN - Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network
• Honey is Here
• In the Wake Episode 34: Rape Culture with Laura W

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Check out Katie and her work:

• Podcast: Voices Not Victims
• Instagram: @voicesnotvictims

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*Trigger Warning*
If you have lost a loved one to cancer or other means, please listen with caution, listen with a trusted friend, or skip this episode entirely. In this episode, our guest may share graphic details or stories of her experiences watching her father battle cancer, losing him, and the aftermath of grief and trauma which may be triggering or hard to hear for some. 

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Jaclyn Renee is a 26 year old single mother residing in Virginia. She has kind of jumped around career-wise and finally landed her dream job in marketing, but was part of the mass lay-offs due to COVID-19. That's what led her to pursue her purpose and launch her podcast, A Parting Gift, which talks about her dealings with trauma, depression, anxiety, loss and abuse and what she's gained from those experiences. 

Jaclyn skipped the majority of her senior year in high school to care for her father, who was battling cancer. When she was just eighteen years old, he passed away and she lost all motivation, leading her down a destructive path that involved partying and drinking constantly to numb out the pain. She self-isolated as she was struggling with her depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder yet put up a strong front so everyone thought she was handling it all so well. Once she hit rock bottom -- broke, alone, failed out of college, and watching life pass her by while heavily medicated -- she decided to make a conscious effort to face her trauma head on. Through deep soul searching and inner work, she identified her triggers and unpacked her many childhood traumas while learning how to cope and show up to life in healthier ways. 

Jaclyn shares more on the following points:

• Watching her father battle cancer
• Losing him during her senior year in high school
• Processing her grief
• The trauma and aftermath of loss
• Numbing out the pain with unhealthy coping measures
• Putting up a "strong" front but later realizing what true strength is
• Learning true forgiveness of others and self
• A message to those who have experienced loss

Tune into this episode to hear the rest of her story!!

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Connect with Jaclyn & her work:

• Instagram: 
  • @apartinggiftpodcast
  • @zahkleen
• Podcast: A Parting Gift 

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Song: Rise Up by Andra Day
 
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*TRIGGER WARNING*
This is a heavier episode as our guest shares graphic details about his life-threatening battle with anorexia, mental health and recovery, and violence in childhood trauma. If you are suffering or recovering from an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, trauma, or a mood or mental disorder, please listen with caution, listen with a trusted friend, or skip this episode entirely. The last thing I would want is for sharing these things to set you back in your healing journey or trigger negative thoughts or emotions. Also, if you are extra sensitive or an empath, you also may want to listen with caution. 

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Non Wels is the creator of the podcast, You, Me, Empathy, and the founder of The Feely Human Collective, a space to grow our collective capacity for empathy, vulnerability, and emotional way finding.

Non would describe himself as, "just a silly boy with lots of feelings." He believes deeply in talking openly about our mental health. He once almost died from shutting off his heart to the world. Now he leads with his heart.

In this episode, he talks about the following:

• Living in an emotionally unsafe environment as a child
• His life threatening experiences with anorexia
• Controlling emotions through food & over exercising 
• Healing childhood trauma through EMDR therapy
• Struggling with mental health as a man
• Rebelling against the shame & stigma around feeling emotions
• How vulnerability heals
• What empathy and open mindedness looks & feels like to him 
• How empathy and vulnerability go hand in hand

Tune in to hear the rest of his story and why empathy and vulnerability have become so crucial to his life!!

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Resources:

• Books: 
  • Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison
  • Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch
• Podcast: Food Psych with Christy Harrison
• Course: Eating Disorder Recovery with Tiffany Roe
• Ted Talk: The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown

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Connect with Non and his work:

• Podcast: You, Me, Empathy
• Website: FeelyHuman.co
• Instagram:
  • @youmeempathy
  • @feelyhuman
• Facebook: The Feely Human Collective

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Song: This Year by The Mountain Goats

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• Contact me here.

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Stephanie Dawn Elizabeth is an Intuitive Transformation Coach and the Host of Made of Magic: The Podcast. She's on a mission to change the idea that the magic we seek is somewhere outside of ourselves. She's here to help you awaken, embody, and amplify the magic you ALREADY have within you. 

I personally have been soaking up all of Stephanie's intuitive and groundbreaking work for years now. It just so happens that when I began on my journey of self love and self growth, I somehow found her and listened to my very first podcast. I then experienced my first life coaching session with her. To this day, I am still doing her Magic Morning routine and journal prompts. She was a huge reason I believed in my own worth and voice and ended up starting a podcast of my own. So it was an honor to finally have her as a guest on my own show!

Stephanie allowed me to pick her brain on all things spirituality, manifestation, and intuition. She shares what it looks and feels like to be living in autopilot versus conscious, intentional living with your soul turned on. We discuss nuance to multiple spiritual concepts and dive into the harms of spiritual bypassing.

In this episode, we cover the following talking points:

• Stigmas, misconceptions, & fears around spirituality
• What intuition & inner guidance means and feels like for her
• Manifestation & intentionality
• Distinction between feelings of intuition vs. anxiety, fear, ego, or trauma
• Living in autopilot vs. your soul turned on
• Spiritual bypassing & the harms of 'good vibes only' spirituality
• The ability to hold multiple truths at the same time
• Nuance of law of attraction or manifestation
• Questioning your beliefs & being open to new perspective

Tune in to hear more from the intuitive guide herself!!

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Connect with Stephanie and her work:

• Instagram: @stephaniedawnelizabeth
• Podcast: Made of Magic
• Website: www.youaremadeofmagic.com
• Magic Mornings

Artists:

• H.E.R.
• BANKS

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• Instagram:
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• Website: whytli.com
• Contact me here. 

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*TRIGGER WARNING*
This is a heavier episode as we speak of rape, sexual assault, and slavery. If you are suffering or recovering from a mood or mental disorder or are a victim of sexual assault, please listen with caution or skip this episode entirely. The last thing I would want is for hearing these things to set you back in your healing journey or trigger negative thoughts or emotions. 

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Cheyenne Tyler Jacobs is a creative, writer, and organizer based in Atlanta, GA. Her platform @shewillspeak, on Instagram, was the springboard, for her second book, The Tragic Type of Beautiful, published in May 2018. After the release of her second book, she founded the She Will Speak Series which hosts bi-annual anthologies. Her continued work involves tackling the issues of racism, sexual violence, and homelessness through art and education.

In this episode, Cheyenne takes us through her experiences and insights into what it looks like to be a survivor of rape while also being a Black woman and how the intersections of her identity affect each other. There a many barriers or added layers of trauma that survivors of color experience when it comes to reporting, whether they are believed or taken seriously, representation, and accessibility to treatment or support in healing. 

We cover the following in this episode:

• Cheyenne's story - being raped during college by a white male athlete
• Barriers to reporting sexual assault as a Black woman
• How religion and purity culture brought immense shame after her assault
• The rollercoaster of healing and the importance of not rushing your healing process
• The history of rape within slavery and generational trauma
• What it looks like to be seen and understood as a survivor
• Changing the social narratives around rape, sexual assault, and abuse

Tune in for this crucial conversation with Cheyenne!!

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Resources:

• @talkpuritytome on Instagram
• @survivorsofcolor on Instagram
• @imasurvivorinc on Instagram
• End Rape On Campus
• On The Record on HBO Max

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Songs:

• Fight Song by Rachel Platten
• I Didn't Know My Own Strength by Whitney Houston

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Connect with Cheyenne & her work:

• Website: 
  • www.shewillspeak.com
  • www.shewillspeakseries.com
• Podcast: As I Was Saying with Cheyenne Tyler Jacobs
• Instagram:
  • @shewillspeak
  • @shewillspeakseries

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• Instagram:
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• Contact me here.

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Renee Powers is the founder and CEO of Feminist Book Club, the premier online hub for intersectional readers that encourages resistance through reading with a monthly subscription box, blog, podcast, and meetups. She has completed her Bachelors, Masters, and PhD coursework in gender communication and is a trained racial justice facilitator through the YWCA. You can find her in Minneapolis where she lives with her spouse and their retired racing greyhound.

In this episode, Renee breaks down why we need to move away from purely white woman feminism into inclusive, intersectional feminism. Instead of fighting for just yourself, feminism is about fighting for the rights of ALL womxn. We discuss white fragility, white privilege, and white supremacy because as white women, we need to acknowledge the intersections of our identities and privileges and where we may fall into both the oppressed and the oppressor. 

We dive deeper into the following:

• Waves of feminism
• Moving from white woman feminism to intersectional feminism
• Intersectionality between our identities
• Difference between equality, justice, & liberation
• What it means to be a feminist for her
• Trans inclusive feminism
• White privilege, white supremacy, & white fragility
• Tokenism vs. diversity

Tune in for this crucial conversation!!

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Resources:

• Articles: 
  • Educate & Activate The 19th Amendment: History's Most Exclusive Sorority 
  • Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh
• Instagram Follow:
  • @staceyabrams
• Books:
  • How To Be An Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi
  • Hood Feminism: Notes From the Woman the Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall

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Songs:

• Praying by Kesha
• Here Comes The Change by Kesha
• Rich, White, Straight, Men by Kesha
• Woman by Kesha
• Learn to Let Go by Kesha
• Let 'Em Talk by Kesha

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Connect with Renee's work:

• Website: www.feministbookclub.com
• Instagram: @feministbookclubbox
• Podcast: Feminist Book Club: The Podcast

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Follow along with the rest of my journey.

• Instagram: 
  • @whytli
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• Website: whytli.com
• Contact me here.

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The Relationship Help Doctor, Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have called on her for help!

Dr. Shaler empowers the partners, exes, adult children, and co-workers of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to recognize emotional abuse, realize the effects, heal, and transform. She helps them see clearly, stop the crazy-making, and save their sanity. She defines Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.”

Rhoberta offers the insights, strategies, and support you need to reclaim hope, confidence--and your sanity--when dealing with the constant uncertainty and jaw-dropping behaviors of Hijackals in your life, at home and at work. Author of sixteen books, including her Hijackal ebook series, she is the host of the popular podcast, listened to in more than seventy-five countries: Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships. She is the former host of the Emotional Savvy channel on Binge TV Networks.

In this episode, we dive into the following:

• Rhoberta's story - having toxic parents and later finding herself in a marriage with another toxic person
• Enabling or excusing toxic behavior
• "Toxic" as a buzzword
• Toxic relationships with parents, friendships, and in the workplace
• Warning signs and red flags to look out for
• Cycle of abuse -- lovebombing / grooming, the 'gotcha' factor / devalue, hovering, & discard

Tune in to hear more from the wise expert herself!!

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Connect with Dr. Rhoberta's work:

• Website: forrelationshiphelp.com
• Podcast: Save Your Sanity Podcast
• Dr. Rhoberta's series of books
• Instagram: @drrhobertashaler
• Facebook: Relationship Help Doctor
• LinkedIn: Rhoberta Shaler

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Song: Gaslighter by The Chicks

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• Contact me here.

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***Trigger Warning***
In this episode, we share detailed accounts of bingeing, restricting, body dysmorphia, and harmful beauty ideals. If you are suffering or recovering from an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, and/or mental disorder, please listen with caution or skip this episode entirely. The last thing I would want is for hearing these things to set you back in your healing journey or to trigger negative thoughts or emotions.

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Amari Pollard is 1/4 of the So-Called Oreos podcast, a podcast where four friends discuss topics on being labeled "too Black" or "too white" in society and how that impacts their everyday lives. In addition to being a podcaster, Amari is also a writer and audience development strategist currently studying strategic communication as a Roy H. Park Fellow at the UNC Hussman School of Journalism and Media. 

In this episode, Amari shares personal stories from childhood, her high school and college days as an athlete, and present day in the pandemic dealing with body dysmorphia and disordered eating. We discuss the harmful beauty trends and societal messaging around bodies that can have negative impacts on one's own body image or relationship with food. 

Amari stated, "My personal issues with food originally stemmed from being over sexualized as a child. At the age of 10, my classmates had started a rumor that I was pregnant, and so I thought that in order for people to stop discussing my body, I had to physically take up less space. For the last 15 years I've struggled to maintain a positive relationship with my body and food, and I've even noticed old, bad habits return during the pandemic."

We dive deeper into the following:

• The moments as a child that made her aware of her body
• Viewing her body through men's appreciation
• What body dysmorphia means / looks like
• Bingeing and restricting habits
• Disordered eating and body image as an athlete in high school vs. college
• Triggers in relationships around your body
• Harmful beauty trends and societal messaging around bodies
• Why representation of all types of bodies matters
• How social media affects your body image

Tune in to hear the rest of Amari's story and insights!! 

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Connect with Amari:

• Instagram: 
  • @amaridawn
  • @socalledoreos
• Twitter: 
  • @amaripollard
  • @socalledoreos
• Website: 
  • amaridawn.com
  • socalledoreos.com
• Podcast: So Called Oreos

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Song:

• Video by India Arie

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• Contact me here.

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Sabrina is the podcast host for the Cultivating Curiosity Podcast, a show dedicated to sharing people's stories and the wisdom within them. Sabrina balances the podcast with a full-time, corporate job as a fashion buyer for a large retailer. In addition, she is also currently training to become a voice-over actress, so you could say she likes to stay busy! 

In this episode, Sabrina shares multiple examples of different stories she believed about herself and the world around her that were holding her back from living her fullest, most conscious life. She explains how she has shifted and rewritten those narratives and the different healing modalities or tools that have worked for her. She also talks about the routines and practices that have helped nourish her spiritual self and the importance of listening to your body's needs to truly love and take care of yourself.

We dive deeper into the following:

• Seeing a holistic therapist and energy healer
• Morning routines
• Learning to trust your inner guidance
• Right vs. left side of the brain
• What self-love means to her
• Working through shame and stigma around seeing a therapist
• Limiting beliefs
• Rewriting the stories we tell ourselves
• Allowing yourself to feel all your emotions both positive and negative

"Self-love means respecting my body for what it needs in this moment. Our bodies are in constant change just like everything else in this Universe. That means we aren't going to be 100% productive every day or 100% happy every day and that's okay. We're meant to have fluctuations within our emotions and our bodies and so we need to respect those fluctuations without any judgement." --Quoted from Sabrina in this episode

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Resources:

• Jill Bolte Taylor
  • Ted Talk: My Stroke of Insight
  • Episode 29: Understanding the Brain & Its Reaction to Covid-19
• Alan Watts
• Authenticity Associates: Coaching & Counseling

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Connect with Sabrina Pierotti:

• Podcast: Cultivating Curiosity 
• Instagram: @sabripierotti
• Facebook: Sabri Pierotti
• Pinterest: Sabri Pierotti
• Email: [email protected]

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Song: The Bone by Maren Morris

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• Contact me here. 

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Dr. Margaret Rutherford has been a psychologist in private practice for over twenty-five years and is the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression, which was published in November 2019.

Margaret has been researching and writing on this topic for over five years, and she’s passionate about the message that although depression can be heavily masked by perfectionism, its damage can still be devastating to that someone who’s trying so hard to smile their way through growing loneliness and despair.

In this episode, Margaret helps break down perfectly hidden depression with me and provides some incredible insights including the following:

• Dangerous forms of perfectionism
• What denial of depression or perfectionism entails and why people may be in denial
• Denying struggle hidden through toxic or rigid positivity
• Factors of perfectly hidden depression
• Difference between self perfectionism, other perfectionism, and socially prescribed perfectionism
• Treating perfectly hidden depression

"Jon Kabat-Zinn uses the term 'Rigid Positivity,' because you can stay so rigidly in the mindset of 'Everything's great and I don't want to focus on anything bad, sad, or what make me angry because then I'm not being appreciative enough.' That is just as dangerous as someone who's constantly negative, constantly sad, or constantly looking for their victimization in their life. There should be a balance. I think healthier people most often stay in the glass half full but part of mental health is also being able to connect with what hurts, what's disappointing, or what you're afraid of. Connect with it, feel those feelings, and then move back to the glass half full. Recognize, understand, and respect that you have some hardship in your life -- we all do!" --Dr. Margaret Rutherford quoted from this episode. 

Tune in to hear more from the wise Dr. Rutherford herself! 

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Connect or work with Dr. Rutherford:

• Website: drmargaretrutherford.com
• Book: Perfectly Hidden Depression by Dr. Margaret Rutherford
  • Questionnaire
• Podcast: The Self Work Podcast
• Instagram: @drmargaretrutherford
• Facebook: Dr. Margaret Rutherford
• YouTube: DrMargaretRutherford

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Song: Tapestry by Carole King

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Follow along with the rest of my journey.

• Instagram: 
  • @whytli
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• Website: whytli.com 
• Contact me here. 

Support the show