What is your advice to someone who feels thrown away? Why is it a sin for me to cut myself but ok for St. Francis to flog himself? What hope can Theology of the Body give for my daughter who struggles with same sex attraction?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Q1: Thank you for all your amazing work on the podcast! I have heard Christopher talk about the dangers of Manicheism and Puritanism. I understand that we should never blame the good things that God created for our misuse of them. Which brings me to my dilemma. I think that my boyfriend broke up with me because he was too attracted to me. He is a devout Catholic and seems to avoid many things that could lead him to the near occasion of sin. Although he cited a different reason for breaking up (not enough time for a relationship), I suspect that he broke up because he could not control his desires around me. We broke our physical boundaries twice during the relationship. What is your advice to someone who feels thrown away? How should I learn from this experience, pray for him, or what else would you suggest?

Q2: I’ve been told by a few priests that to cut or self-injure is a sin and even a grave one and reframing the struggle that way has helped me to resist the temptation with more success. But. . . I was wondering if you could speak to why it is a sin for me to cut myself but ok for say St Francis to flog himself? Like, what is the difference and does the Theology of the Body speak to this?

Q3: Our 17 year old daughter thinks she may be "gay" and I know the better term is "same sex attraction." She didn't tell me this but told my husband. I am not sure why she thinks that so I don't know if she really has same sex attraction or if she is afraid of getting close to guys because of father wounds. She says "she knows she is a girl" when there is all this talk everywhere about transgender people. She also thinks the Catholic Church doesn't like gay people but I have told her it's not the inclination or the person but the acting on it that is wrong. I have said all of us are called to be chaste. I love the Theology of the Body teachings and try to get her to read the books. I have many fears now for her and I am asking whether there is hope for her and what can you share of the teachings of the Theology of the Body that can give her and me hope?

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Resources mentioned this week:

The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction by Janelle Hallman

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

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