INDULGE ME

At some point in your young adult life, you may have been solicited to by a friend or colleague to join a multi-level marketing program. In this episode, we talk about some examples, and why these programs are typically perceived to be annoying or undesirable.

Quotes include:

"It's nice when one of your old friends calls you to catch up. That is until they try to offer you the opportunity to buy a bunch of boxes of foot cream."

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"$200. That's at least 6 months worth of McDonalds and Taco Bell. If you're smart."

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"If someone has to tell you that something is not a pyramid scheme, it's probably a pyramid scheme. It's kind of like if someone approaches you on a first date and the first thing they tell you that they're not a serial killer."

Meeting gals is tough, no matter if it's online or in person. In this episode, we talk about the different variables involved in meeting women, across many social situations.

Quotes include:

"Sliding into the DMs? It's a low converting medium."

"I just can't get the confidence to talk to a gal in public. And it doesn't make sense, because I have every excuse to do so, my height, my rockin bod, etc."

"If the music is too loud, it's cool. What my words can't communicate, I supplement with my body rolls on the dance floor."

Whether it be dating, playing sports, or executing in the workplace, being able to get vulnerable might lend itself to our ability to succeed and contribute to others.

Digital notifications are presented to us dozens, if not hundreds of times per day. In this episode, we talk about how all of this screen time can affect your mind and your body. We also talk about solutions to this problem. Quotes include:

"This episode is about digital notifications. Which is not the same thing as talking to your parents about your sexual frustrations, or about drugs. Unless you just fired off text messages to your parents, about your sexual frustrations or drugs." ----- 

"'Garet, didn't you major in math?' -- 'No, I beat those kids up'"

"Ring By Spring" is a phrase used primarily in small conservative, religious universities, indicating that a person ought to have a ring on their finger by the spring semester of their senior year in college.

Quotes include:

"Do you know how many months of Tinder Premium you can get for the price of a liberal arts degree?"

"We're starting a new segment on the show called "Are They Still Married?"

"Tinder Premium is not cheap. But, if there was a program that allowed you to received unsubsidized or perhaps subsidized federal loans for Tinder Premium – we'd have something to talk about"

Pat and Garet drink a bottle of wine and talk about guilty pleasures. Quotes include:

"Doesn't Microsoft Excel count as a guilty pleasure?" - Pat

"Pink doesn't seem like someone I would normally hang out with. But sometimes when I'm just really feeling some strong or intense emotions, I rock out pretty hard."

"The first time the phrase "Guilty Pleasure" is used, as far as we know, was in the New York Times in the 1870s, and it was about going to a brothel. For all you youngsters out there, another word for that might be bordello, or joy house, or massage parlor. So now you know."

For this episode, we drink a bottle of wine and talk about some of the ramifications that personality tests have on our society. Quotes include:

"Hippocrates. That was a character in Disney's 'Hercules', right?"

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"Back in ancient Greece, they would give you certain medications based on the category derived from you personality test. You know, like drilling a hole in your head."

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"Most people think of big companies as being more sophisticated, but really it's just a larger amount of idiots."

How do government shutdowns happen, and what's the deal with this one? Pat and Garet drink a bottle of wine and discuss their solutions.

Quotes include:

"Here's an idea. What if we built a wall out made entirely out of Planned Parenthoods? Or perhaps a wall where we're allowed to write 'Trump is a dumbass' on it, over and over, for 2,000 miles. It's all about compromising here."

"To all you dads out there, if your wife gives birth to twins, you should definitely check to make sure both of them are yours."

"Donald Trump should offer all of the furloughed employees rooms in his hotels. That would make it all better, right?"

Pat and Garet drink a bottle of wine and talk about going through a breakup.

Key quotes:

"When going through a breakup, there's a balance that should be struck between being a pushover, and slashing someone's tires."

"How do I handle breaking up with someone? ... Let me ask you a question. Have you ever been fired?"

"Garet, do you think rather than breaking up with someone, it might just be easier to fake one's own death?"

On this episode, we talk about Celebrity Gossip, Garet's pet peeves at the gym, and Pat's new favorite kitchen appliance.

Quotes include - "I know what you're thinking. Instant Pot sounds like something us Coloradans do on the weekends, but let's be clear, it's the coolest pressure cooker I've ever seen".

"Do you really think that the 6-month-pregnant gal doing dead lifts at the gym gives a crap what she looks like. I don't think so."