Inner Spark

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There was black dust shooting out of my vents, and I knew exactly whose fault it was. Mine. I didn't ask.

In this Shower Sprinkle, I'm sharing a messy (literally) day at home and an upcoming surgery I've been avoiding asking about, even though I used to work in the OR. Both taught me the same thing: sometimes we skip the questions because we're excited, relieved, or honestly scared of the answer. That avoidance costs us clarity, peace of mind, and sometimes a couple of hours of scrubbing walls.

This week, I'm challenging you to look at where you're not asking, and whether you're asking in a way that actually gets you a clear answer.

In this episode:

• Why we say yes before we get clear
• How avoiding questions can be a way of protecting ourselves from what we don't want to know
• The difference between asking and asking well
• Looking back on the Grief Series and what asking made possible

Ask yourself this week:

• What question am I avoiding right now?
• Am I scared of the answer?
• Could I rephrase it so I get a clearer response?

Come Gather with us 🍂
Christine Marcario and I are hosting Gathered, an intimate retreat for women, November 5–7 in New Jersey. It's all about asking yourself the real questions, getting clear, and leaving with action steps and a sisterhood. Seating is limited to 8, and some seats are already gone. Ask us any questions and ask yourself if this feels aligned! 

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

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After ten conversations about loss, love, and everything grief actually looks like, I'm closing out the Grief Series with the one thing every guest agreed on: what actually helps someone who's grieving isn't the right words — it's staying in the room.

In this finale, I revisit the most powerful moment from each episode of the Grief Series — from Pam Sandrock's beach ball metaphor to Justine King's "you never move on, you move forward" — and pull together a real, practical toolkit for how to comfort someone who's grieving. This episode covers what to actually say (and what not to say) when someone dies, how to support a grieving friend without overwhelming them, and why "let me know if you need anything" almost never works.

In this episode:

• A one-line takeaway from all 10 Grief Series guests
• The exact phrases to stop saying to someone who's grieving — and what to say instead
• Why "I'm sorry for your loss" isn't as comforting as you think
• Practical, specific ways to show up for a grieving friend or family member (no meal train required)
• Why there's no timeline — and no hierarchy — to grief

If you've ever wondered what to say to someone who's grieving, how to support a friend after a death, or how to talk to a child about loss, this episode is the recap and the toolkit in one.

Catch up on the full Grief Series: Starting from Episode 51 

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

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Anthony Marcario was three years old when his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer — and she spent the next two decades making sure he never noticed. In this episode, Anthony (husband of my dear friend Christine, and a high school educator of over 12 years) shares what it was like growing up with a parent who was sick for nearly his entire childhood, and how she turned every Friday treatment, every hospital stay, and every hard day into something that just looked like ordinary life.

Anthony walks through the five stages of grief as he actually lived them — the denial after she passed, the anger, the bargaining with God, and the sadness that still shows up around her birthday, Mother's Day, and the holidays. He talks about "coming out of the clam shell" to finally speak about his loss, the signs he still looks for that tell him she's near, and the moment he found the yellow string tied to a Christmas ornament — proof she was there the year they lost the hooks.

He also opens up about how losing his mother young shaped the way he shows up for his own students, many of whom are grieving parents of their own, and why he now tries to live by one rule: go to bed with no regrets.

In this episode:

• Growing up with a parent who has a chronic or terminal illness
• The five stages of grief, as experienced rather than as theory
• How families "normalize" hardship to protect each other
• Signs, symbols, and staying connected to someone after loss
• Supporting grieving students as an educator
• Finding joy and living without regret after losing a parent young

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

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I met Justine at a boxing gym, and it didn't take long to realize she's one of the most genuine, heart-of-gold people I've ever known. She's spent seven years opening her home to strangers walking through the unimaginable — the loss of a child.

In this episode, Justine shares the story of her son Josh, who she and her husband Bob lost on Easter Sunday, 2017 — the day after what she calls one of her best birthdays ever. She talks about the moment everything changed, the years since, and the support group she and Bob ran out of their own living room for families who understood exactly what she was carrying.

We talk about what it actually means to help someone who's grieving — why "call me if you need anything" doesn't work, why just showing up does, and why sitting in silence with someone can say more than any words you could find. Justine shares the phrase she's started using instead of "I'm sorry," what her tattoos mean to her, and why she believes you never move on from a loss like this — you move forward, carrying it with you.

This one is heavy, and it's also full of hope. Justine's faith carried her through the worst thing she could imagine, and she's spent the years since turning that into a place for other people to land.

In this episode:

• Justine's story of losing her son Josh, and the years that followed
• Why "call me if you need anything" isn't real support — and what is
• The support group Justine and her husband ran for seven years
• What her tattoos mean and why she got them
• Why grief isn't something you move on from — it's something you carry forward
• Where to find support if you or someone you love has lost a child

Resources mentioned:

• While We're Waiting support group — Wichita, KS (Riverlawn Church, last Thursday of the month)
• While We're Waiting Facebook group (for bereaved parents)

Listener challenge: If you know someone who's lost someone — whether it was last month or ten years ago — reach out today. Not "let me know if you need anything." Just reach out. Send the text. Bring the toilet paper. Sit with them in silence if that's all you have.

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

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This week, I step away from the guest chair and get honest about my own grief — mid-eclipse season, mid-edit, mid-life.

Fresh off the conversation with Dr. Craig Farney about the difference between feeling sad and being sad, I found myself living the answer in real time. A physical health scare pulled her straight back into an old fear, grief showed up uninvited at her desk, and she made the choice to let it move through her instead of pushing past it.

In this Shower Sprinkle, I talk about:

• Why eclipse season seems to be surfacing heaviness for everyone lately
• The moment grief ambushed her while editing an upcoming guest episode
• A physical trigger that took her back to a hard season of her health history
• Why hosting a grief-focused show doesn't make her immune to grief
• The practice of letting a feeling have its five minutes, instead of solving or explaining it away

A note on what's ahead: Next week's guest joins me to talk about the loss of a child, and how she's turned unimaginable pain into helping others survive theirs. Trigger warning noted in advance — I want you to know this one will be tender.

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

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In this episode of the Grief Series, I sit down with Dr. Craig Farney — who I jokingly call "the feelings doctor" — for a conversation about the connection between our emotions and our physical health. Dr. Farney has personally helped me work through my own grief, and in this episode he breaks down why so many of us were never taught how to feel our feelings in the first place, and what that costs us physically and emotionally when we don't.

What we cover:

• Dr. Farney's approach to helping people become aware of the subconscious patterns driving their wellbeing
• The three questions he asks every client: what do you feel, where do you feel it, and why do you feel it
• The inner parent / inner child framework, and how most of us "parent" ourselves the same way we were parented
• Why feelings aren't the problem — it's the behavior that follows them that we're really trying to control
• The critical difference between "I feel sad" (an experience) and "I am sad" (an identity) — and why that distinction changes how grief moves through you
• How unprocessed grief shows up in the body: gut issues, fatigue, sleep problems, autoimmune flare-ups
• Grief isn't only about death — the death of a relationship, a dream, or a career can grieve just as deeply
• Why grief has no timeline, and why something can resurface 20 years later
• Gendered grief norms — why men are so often taught not to cry, and the health cost of that conditioning
• Dr. Farney's own story: a distant relationship with his father, not being able to cry at his dad's funeral, and the moment his dad turned, kissed his mom, and passed away
• Why "the past without emotion is wisdom," and how to hold complicated grief without judgment

You can connect with Dr. Craig Farney at:https://www.docerelifecenter.com/

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCraigFarney

Listen to his podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@mind.shift.podcasts

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

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In this episode, I'm sitting down with someone I don't usually get to interview — my grandfather, Glenn Gum. He was married to my grandmother, Sheila, for 69 years before she passed. We recorded this conversation at Table Rock Lake, where our family has vacationed together for over 50 years — so this isn't a studio interview. It's just us, talking the way we always have.

My Grandpa agreed to share this because he wants it to help someone else walking through the same thing.

He talks about what grief has actually felt like for him — not the version people expect, but the real one: isolation, the pull to stay in bed, the guilt of still being here. He talks about the friends who chose to stay in that isolation, and the sister-in-law who told him plainly: if you sit in your house and do nothing, the devil wins. And he talks about what it took to choose differently — staying active, staying connected, and deciding, one morning at a time, to be the guy who says good morning instead of the guy who doesn't.

This one is personal. My grandpa didn't just answer questions for this episode — he gave us 69 years of love, and what he's learned about living after loss.

In this episode:

• What grief has actually felt like for him, in his own words
• The role isolation plays in grief, and how it compounds
• The moment his sister-in-law's words changed his mindset
• Why "positive" has to be a practice, not just a feeling
• How he's rebuilt a life, health, and community after 69 years with one partner

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

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In this episode of the Inner Spark Grief Series, I sit down with Terri Brown, an LSCSW psychotherapist with 39 years of experience in death and dying, critical incident response, and grief counseling — including work with Kroger's critical incident teams and 12 years serving soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan with the Department of Defense.

Terri has personally walked alongside me through my own journey, and in this conversation we get into why grief is so rarely talked about — and why that silence leaves so many people feeling alone in it.

We talk about:

• Terri's beach metaphor for grief — the waves that lap gently at your feet, and the ones that swamp you without warning
• Why "I'm so sorry for your loss" isn't the comfort we think it is, and what to say instead
• The "grief grocery bag" — a simple, tangible way to show up for someone grieving
• Why there's no timeline, no order, and no wrong way to grieve — even 20 years later
• What happens after the casseroles stop and everyone goes home
• How to actually mean it when you say "I'm here for you"
• Why grief and joy aren't opposites — and how humor becomes part of healing
• Terri's own story about her dad, and the moment they still laugh about today

A line worth sitting with: "This is your process. This is your journey, and it's your timeline. No one gets to drive this but you."

If this episode brought something up for you, please know — grief doesn't need to be earned, explained, or timed. You're allowed to be exactly where you are.

If you found something that sparked you, share it with a friend who needs to hear it today.

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

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In this episode of the Grief Series, I sit down with Carmen Walsh — writer, speaker, and fierce advocate for women over 40 claiming their freedom and joy — for one of the most vulnerable conversations the series has featured yet.

Carmen opens up about losing her older brother to epilepsy when she was just 15, and how she spent the next three decades shutting her grief down to protect the people around her. She shares the exact moment she decided to stop expressing her feelings — a story involving a piano, a boyfriend, and the words "it's been over a year" — and how that moment shaped her relationships for years to come.

The conversation shifts when Carmen shares her father's death in 2019, and how being present for his passing gave her a completely different, healing experience of grief — one that helped her finally understand what she'd missed for 30 years.

Together, Carmen & I explore why grief has no hierarchy, why we're never taught how to feel our feelings, and why avoiding what feels hard also means denying ourselves what feels delicious. This episode is a permission slip — to feel, to grieve loudly or quietly, and to know there's no wrong way to carry loss.

What You'll Hear In This Episode

• Why grief means you had deep love — and why that reframe changes everything
• Carmen's story of losing her brother at 15, and the moment she decided to stop sharing her feelings
• How her father's death in 2019 gave her a completely different, healing experience of grief
• Why grief has no hierarchy — pet, parent, job, or illness, it's all the same weight
• What Carmen would tell a grieving child — and a grieving adult
• Simple tools for processing grief without a "safe person" nearby (writing, vocalizing, screaming into a pillow)

Connect with Carmen Walsh: https://www.instagram.com/carmen_livelovesavorlife/

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You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/

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 In this Shower Sprinkle, I'm sharing the heart behind the Grief Series, why I believe grief deserves a place in our everyday conversations, and why you don't have to be fully healed to make a difference in someone else's life.

If you've ever questioned your story, your purpose, or whether you're "qualified" enough, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we'll talk about:

• Why I almost didn't start this series
• The many forms grief can take
• Why grief and joy can exist together
• The power of sharing your story
• Why no one should have to grieve alone

My hope is that this series helps you feel seen, understood, and reminds you that whatever you're grieving—you don't have to carry it alone.

💛 If this episode encouraged you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who may need it today.

You can find me at:
https://www.instagram.com/cataton/
https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton/

You can find what sparks me at:
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1AgeRtyojY/
https://www.instagram.com/lmbdcelebrations/

Music by: Jason and Ashley Scheufler
Artwork by:  https://www.instagram.com/graphx_ink/