Try as we might, we cannot stay on one topic. Rent-a-fatty. What will our alien visitors be like? This dog is definitely NOT man's best friend. And who knows what else?

A deep intellectual discussion on butter versus margarine. A sample of what Dane does best. Ern has a mooch problem. Big supreme court win for Trump.

What are Bert and Ernie's couple roles? Danny Masterson catches a beat down. Prison labor, good or bad? Big E is sick of tipping. Texas homeowner fatally wounds BBQ thief. Japan's Muslim ban. Who wants monkey for dinner? Doc's campaign update.

Doc educates us about the Hays code. Maggot on a plane. Commercial airliner breaks sound barrier by mistake. Ern's cruise plans. Man suing Powerball. What we would do if we won the lotto. We remember (some of us not so fondly) our first times.

In this extra long episode, we talk Valentine's day, Mardi Gras, and politics. Ern dreams about one day meeting a streetwalker. 2024 Rock and Roll hall of fame nominees. Danny Masterson update. Snoop suing Walmart. Ask Dr. Doc.

Rhi-Rhi gets loaded. Doc's royal connection. Doc makes a huge political announcement. Florida man games. The magic power of boobs. Sampling Sunny D seltzers.

We sample Eggo brunch in a jar. What is a "Xennial"? Ern puts something good in our mouths (for a change). "Classic" music makes us feel old. Brian hates Greta Thurnberg. Ten things women do that annoy men.

The Texas border crisis. Our latest Asian market finds. Most overrated chain restaurants. The origins of Goth. Urban dictionary phrase of the week. Does WWE have a future? The T-Swift superbowl. Custom AI sex dolls?

Ern cooks it up, but can't take the heat. Why Ern watches golf. Colon cancer is a bitch. A very special "Ask Dr. Doc. The history behind the song "Layla". Thirteen things men do that annoy women.

Brick lady gets exposed. Ern thinks ACAB. We get subjected to bubblegum pop. Man catches plane...the hard way. Superbowl conspiracy theory. Stanley cups...WTF? You can have your ex eaten alive for Valentine's day.