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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the concept of a husband helping with household chores to win sexual favors from his wife, a.k.a. "choreplay." Is this a fun, win-win idea? What are the dangers of this transactional approach to sex?

1. There is certainly some truth in the idea that a wife will be more inclined toward sex if a husband is willing to help with the endless tasks required to effectively run a home.
2. Choreplay is a dangerous idea when one or both spouses begin to believe that sex is transactional or husband-focused, rather than a mutually pleasurable means of further building connection. 
3. View sex and household chores in a way that promotes connection — with humility and a servant’s heart.

Announcing Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE!  www.intimatecovenant.com/members

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Connect with the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!

 Cherishing,
 Matt & Jenn

* If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

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Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share their method of critically assessing the state of their own marital intimacy and some tips on how to have the conversation about setting goals for better connection. 

1. For real progress in your marriage, it’s important to critically evaluate the past and to set goals for the future.
2. A thorough evaluation of your marriage should include assessment of each realm of intimacy: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical.
3. In setting relationship goals, I need to define what I am going to change individually with specific and realistic plan.

We  took our own “State of the Covenant” conversation and created a detailed form with conversation starters and a step-by-step breakdown of the process that we use to regularly assess our relationship status and to set intimacy-building goals.  We've organized our conversation and the form around the four realms intimacy: spiritual, mental, emotional and physical.

• Free for Covenant Club members. If you’ve signed up for pre-launch, we’ll send you this form in an email this week. And once Covenant Club is live, you’ll be able to access the form whenever you want.
• For the rest of you, you can find the form in our store on the website: https://intimatecovenant.com/services/ 

Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE!  www.intimatecovenant.com/members

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Connect with the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!

 
 Cherishing,
 Matt & Jenn

* If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]

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Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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This episode includes segments of a live Q&A session from a recent seminar held in Columbus, Indiana. Matt & Jenn tackle the following questions:

• "How do you overcome lack of sexual desire because of physical limitations?"
• "Are all forms of sex ok? Are any types of sex with my spouse sinful?"
• "I have been wanting to enhance our sexual connections through non-intercourse actives such as kissing on the couch for 5 minutes. However, there is a fear of even starting these activities as then going all the way to ejaculation would be pressured within hours to days following. How do we get past that fear and enjoy more non-intercourse sexual connections?"
• "How do you work through when you’ve lost physical attraction?"
• "Mental intimacy --'be of the same mind' -- how does that work when sometimes our differences of opinion are strong?"

Announcing Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE!  www.intimatecovenant.com/members

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Connect with the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!

 
 Cherishing,
 Matt & Jenn

* If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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This episode includes segments of a live Q&A session from a recent seminar held in Columbus, Indiana. Matt & Jenn tackle the following questions:

• My husband agreed to get a vasectomy over a year ago, but he still hasn't initiated the process. Our contraception methods are unreliable and this is causing a great deal of anxiety.  "How can I let him know we are a team but also that this is so difficult and very emotional for me to go thru each month ...carrying with me the concerns of getting pregnant?"
• "When you don’t feel respected, appreciated, admired and wanted, how do you get your desire back to be intimate with your spouse?" "How do you feel desirable when your spouse has a wandering eye?"
• "My partner and I started watching a TV show together and over the years the content has become more racy, but not outright pornographic. How do I warn my partner that it’s creating mental temptation without violating their emotional state?"
• I have been listening to your podcast every week since week 1. I have been enthusiastic about starting conversations from these episodes almost every week. However, my enthusiasm to have conversation with my spouse some how comes across as pressure and not many words come back. How do I create a safe, open environment that is conducive to my spouse opening up and wanting to discuss these topics?

More Q&A next week...

Announcing Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE!  www.intimatecovenant.com/members

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Connect with the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!

 
 Cherishing,
 Matt & Jenn

* If you have been blessed by the message of this podcast, we would deeply appreciate your support by donating to our mission of spreading God’s plan for intimate marriage and holy sexuality: www.intimatecovenant.com/donate

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge you to "embrace conflict" and offer some ground rules on "fighting fair" in your marriage.

1. Learn to embrace conflict recognizing that conflict is an opportunity to learn more about your spouse. Your job is not to “win” or even eliminate every conflict. Rather your goal is to use conflict to learn to face problems together.
2. Treat your spouse with love and respect, always. Recognize and avoid the manipulative techniques that you might be using like explosion, silence, withholding, or tears.
3. You may be right about a certain issue, but if your tone is hurtful you are dead wrong. Value your spouse’s heart over being “right.”

Announcing Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE!  www.intimatecovenant.com/members

Join us in Louisville, KY on March 4-5, 2022 for a Marriage Seminar -- "DESIRING an Intimate Covenant." For more details and to register, click the link:  www.iclou.fun

To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Connect with the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
 
Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

* If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice for sexual pursuers and responders when giving and receiving sexy gifts. 

1. Consider starting a sexy Christmas tradition. This is a great time to gift your sexual relationship by exchanging sexy presents and/or by making time for a Christmas Eve quickie.
2. If you are a sexual pursuer, be sure that you are primarily considering what is best for encouraging sexual connection for your spouse.
3. Sexual responders should consider how to get in the Christmas spirit by giving their beloved a generous sexual gift.
4. Primarily, this season should be an opportunity to find connection amid the chaos. Seek each other first.

Announcing Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE!  www.intimatecovenant.com/members

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Connect with the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
 
Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

* If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode (#69), Matt and Jenn discuss sex positions (for no obvious reason). Is it important to learn new things in bed? What meanings do different positions have?

1. Couples that have many ways to enjoy each other have insurance against monotony, aging, and health-related sexual challenges.
2. Different sexual styles and positions bring different meanings and points of enjoyment to your sex life.
3. Above all else, use sex to build connection in your relationship no matter how you do it.

We referenced these helpful resources:

• Christian Friendly Sex Positions --  https://www.christianfriendlysexpositions.com
• Married Dance -- https://marrieddance.com
• Intimately Us app -- https://intimately.us/
• Ultimate Intimacy app -- https://ultimateintimacy.com/

To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Connect with the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
 
Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn
 

Announcing Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE!  www.intimatecovenant.com/members

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how to keep your relationship and your sex life from freezing over during the busy holiday season.

1. Protect your spouse. Make sure they know that you’ve got their back. Approach your extended families with an “us vs. them” mentality.
2. Prioritize your spouse and your relationship. You absolutely MUST make time to continue to connect with your spouse, even at the expense of making others happy - even your kids.
3. Plan ahead so that you are prepared to overcome challenges to your sex life during this holiday season. 

Announcing Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE!  www.intimatecovenant.com/members

 To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Connect with the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]
 
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
 
Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn
 

PS - If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share an excerpt from a session of the 2021 Retreat, titled, "Submitting to one another -- do I know what my spouse really needs?" Learn new moves to help transform conflict into opportunities for growth and connection.

1. Real change starts by seeing my spouse more clearly -- empathy. See their circumstances, their struggles and their desires.
2. If I want change, I have to protect their space for change. I have to reward their vulnerability instead of punishing with judgement, criticism, or coldness.
3. Recognize that we need each other — interdependency. Begin to see conflicts as opportunities to grow & connect; opportunities to face life together.

To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Connect with the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]

Announcing Covenant Club! -- launching January 2022. Sign up during prelaunch and get the first three months for FREE! www.intimatecovenant.com/members

Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]



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Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn continue last week's discussion about encouraging husbands to be leaders by specifically addressing spiritual leadership in the home.

1. Husbands are given the responsibility of overseeing the spiritual growth of the home and this responsibility is often shirked by many men. Many wives longingly desire to see their husbands grow into a strong spiritual leader.
2. Criticism and pressure are rarely effective ways to motivate a reluctant husband. Instead, be clear and realistic about your expectations, offering praise and gratitude as motivation.
3. Husbands, spiritual growth is in your best interest. If your wife is like most, your growth as a spiritual leader will exponentially improve your romantic and sexual attractiveness.

To send your comments, questions and suggestions, go to our website: www.intimatecovenant.com/podcast and click on the button: “Connect with the Podcast” for an ANONYMOUS submission form. Or, send an email: [email protected]

Join the Covenant Club — our new online community for covenant-focused married couples! www.intimatecovenant.com/members

 Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!
 
 Cherishing,
 Matt & Jenn
 
 PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]



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Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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