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Matt & Jenn discuss how to develop a vocabulary and language for your lovemaking so that you and your spouse can effectively communicate about your sex life. 

1. Talking about sex improves the quality of your sex and your relationship.
2. You must have vocabulary to learn a language. Know and name your parts.
3. Define the types and kinds of sex that you are having.

Helpful Resources referenced in this episode:

• Ultimate Intimacy app
• Intimately Us app
• www.ChristianFriendlySexPositions.com

Download our free resource titled, “What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse?” at the website: www.intimatecovenant.com

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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In response to listener email, Matt & Jenn discuss the unique dynamic when the wife is the one with higher sexual desire.

1. Higher desire wives, recognize that you are normal. You and your spouse don’t have to fit the stereotypes to still have a fulfilling sex life. You do still have to work at your relationship  - just like everyone else, just in a different way.
2. Wives, You can only control you. Choose to be a sexually confident woman. What you do may or may not influence your husband to change. But, even if you just change your behavior and your perspective, your relationship will still be better.
3. Husbands of higher desire wives, You don’t need to have a high desire for sex to be a man, but you do need to deal with whatever is getting in the way of your wife’s sexual fulfillment. if you’ve got issues that are interfering with your relationship (porn, anxiety, unhealthy coping mechanisms, health problems, etc.) — Be a man and deal with your stuff. And if you’ve dealt with YOUR stuff, then own your responsibility to grow your relationship in all areas of intimacy: spiritually, mentally, emotionally AND sexually.

Download our free resource titled, “What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse?” at the website: www.intimatecovenant.com

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!

Cherishing,
 Matt & Jenn

PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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Matt & Jenn discuss the typical pattern of female sexual desire and arousal. "Normal" is not what you've been led to believe!

1. Tapping in to sexual desire is a choice! Female sex drive starts in between her ears not in between her legs. Most women are not sexually aroused until AFTER they have chosen to engage in sexual play with their beloved.
2. To have great sex, you must choose to be present mentally and physically, own your own pleasure, and understand what really makes you sexy.
3. This is Biblical! We have a God-give example of a sexually confident woman whom we should emulate!

Download our free resource titled, “What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse?” at the website: www.intimatecovenant.com

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]



www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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Matt & Jenn discuss the five reasons people seek or avoid sex. 

1. The 5 motivators toward or away from sex  are: pleasure, intimacy/connection, procreation, approval, and coping. Each motivator may be driving you toward or away from sex.
2. Understand what motivates you toward or away from sex so that you can tap into your positive motivations and confront those negative motivations.
3. Have a discussion with your spouse about each other's positive and negative motivation for sex. Find out what you can (or can’t) do to maximize your desire toward each other.

Download our free resource titled, What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse?
at our website: www.intimatecovenant.com

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]


www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

Support the show

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This episode brought to you by:  Websites That Sell: https://www.facebook.com/BeautifulWebsitesThatSell
They did a beautiful job with our site re-design. Let them make help you grow your business with a beautiful new website.
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the devastating effects of pornography on your marriage and how to heal from the betrayal.

1. Pornography poisons your sexual expectations and betrays your marriage relationship. 
2. Recovery from the betrayal of pornography occurs in three stages:
   • Stage 1: The porn must stop. Period. Get accountability. (Helpful Resources: www.covenanteyes.com)
   • Stage 2: Confront the harmful beliefs, habits and behaviors that have supported the porn use in your past and in your relationship.
   • Stage 3: Rebuild Trust, Intimate Relationship, and Sex

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

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Sign up for our next FREE webinar:
"Making Married Sex Great Again"
October 23 @ 8:00PM (central time)
www.intimatecovenant.com/webinar
------------------------------------------

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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Matt & Jenn offer some very practical ways to build intimacy in the four realms of your marital relationship: spiritual, mental, emotional & physical.

1. Intimacy is not just a euphemism for sex. It’s so much deeper. It means knowing and being known. Building intimacy is the goal for your marriage relationship.
2. Building intimacy in all realms of your relationship requires an intentional focus and conscious effort.
3. All of  realms of intimacy — spiritual, intellectual, emotional & sexual — are interconnected. If your relationship is suffering in one area, it will affect your ability to grow close in every other area.

Sign up for the FREE webinar: October 23 -- Making Married Sex Great Again

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

Support the show

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Matt & Jenn share some joy from the 2020 Marriage Retreat by playing excerpts from the live Question/Answer session. Experience a little piece of the atmosphere and the fun that we have at the Retreat!

Shout out to some of our Retreat Sponsors:
Married Dance
GhostSherpa
Websites That Sell

1. Check out our new website. (Get a free PDF)
2. Sign up for the webinar, October 23
3. Make plans to join us at the next Retreat: September 23-25, 2021

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how to broach the delicate topic of sex with our spouses. How can I get this conversation started so that my spouse will be responsive an engaged, not scared away? How can I learn to express my desires and feelings openly about such an embarrassing topic?

1. Embrace the conflict. Use it as an opportunity to learn about what your spouse really needs, wants, and fears. Learn who they really are and how you can better serve them. Pursuers and Responders, lean in to the beauty of “I don’t know.”
2. Timing is everything.
3. Be direct. Avoid criticism. Be patient.

Sign up for the upcoming FREE webinar on October 23rd at 8:00PM: www.intimatecovenant.com/webinar

Thanks for listening! Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn
www.intimatecovenant.com

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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Matt and Jenn discuss the biblical principles that should guide what we allow into our marriage bed:
(This one is a little longer than other episodes, but we just couldn't leave anything out from our discussion.)

1. God loves Sex. He created it and intends for married couples to enjoy it.
2. His word, the Bible, guides us with clear principles to determine what sexual activities are holy, healthy and edifying to our marriage.
   1. We are to have sex only in marriage (Genesis 2; Matthew 19.4-6; 1 Corinthians 7:1-16)
   2. We are expected to lovingly meet the legitimate sexual needs and wants of our spouse. Sex is intended to be pleasurable to both the husband and wife. (1 Corinthians 7.3-5)
   3. Love for our spouse, and respect for the body and soul God created, requires us to avoid anything which can cause harm: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. (Ephesians 5.29-33; 1 Corinthians 6.18-20)
   4. We should never push our spouse to compromise their conscience. (Romans 14)
   5. We should not be controlled by anything. (1 Corinthians 6.12-14; 10.24)
3. One important question you must consider before introducing anything into your marriage bed is: Does this desire foster oneness and closeness in my relationship?

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]

Sign up for the FREE webinar: www.intimatecovenant.com/webinar

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn
www.intimatecovenant.com

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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Matt & Jenn continue the discussion of sexual relationship dynamics between Pursuers & Responders. In this episode, we offer practical advice to help recognize, prevent and repair the damage from the toxic Pressurer-Distancer cycle:

1. Responders: you can alleviate the pressure by closing the gap with small, comfortable steps and by communicating your needs. Withdrawing only makes the pressure more intense.
2. Pursuers: Focus on the entire relationship and understand that it’s a journey. Practice gratitude and appreciation for what your spouse is already offering. Be a safe place for your spouse to share, grow, discover and be vulnerable.

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

Support the show