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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how to broach the delicate topic of sex with our spouses. How can I get this conversation started so that my spouse will be responsive an engaged, not scared away? How can I learn to express my desires and feelings openly about such an embarrassing topic?

1. Embrace the conflict. Use it as an opportunity to learn about what your spouse really needs, wants, and fears. Learn who they really are and how you can better serve them. Pursuers and Responders, lean in to the beauty of “I don’t know.”
2. Timing is everything.
3. Be direct. Avoid criticism. Be patient.

Sign up for the upcoming FREE webinar on October 23rd at 8:00PM: www.intimatecovenant.com/webinar

Thanks for listening! Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn
www.intimatecovenant.com

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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Matt and Jenn discuss the biblical principles that should guide what we allow into our marriage bed:
(This one is a little longer than other episodes, but we just couldn't leave anything out from our discussion.)

1. God loves Sex. He created it and intends for married couples to enjoy it.
2. His word, the Bible, guides us with clear principles to determine what sexual activities are holy, healthy and edifying to our marriage.
   1. We are to have sex only in marriage (Genesis 2; Matthew 19.4-6; 1 Corinthians 7:1-16)
   2. We are expected to lovingly meet the legitimate sexual needs and wants of our spouse. Sex is intended to be pleasurable to both the husband and wife. (1 Corinthians 7.3-5)
   3. Love for our spouse, and respect for the body and soul God created, requires us to avoid anything which can cause harm: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. (Ephesians 5.29-33; 1 Corinthians 6.18-20)
   4. We should never push our spouse to compromise their conscience. (Romans 14)
   5. We should not be controlled by anything. (1 Corinthians 6.12-14; 10.24)
3. One important question you must consider before introducing anything into your marriage bed is: Does this desire foster oneness and closeness in my relationship?

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]

Sign up for the FREE webinar: www.intimatecovenant.com/webinar

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn
www.intimatecovenant.com

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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Matt & Jenn continue the discussion of sexual relationship dynamics between Pursuers & Responders. In this episode, we offer practical advice to help recognize, prevent and repair the damage from the toxic Pressurer-Distancer cycle:

1. Responders: you can alleviate the pressure by closing the gap with small, comfortable steps and by communicating your needs. Withdrawing only makes the pressure more intense.
2. Pursuers: Focus on the entire relationship and understand that it’s a journey. Practice gratitude and appreciation for what your spouse is already offering. Be a safe place for your spouse to share, grow, discover and be vulnerable.

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

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Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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In this week's episode, Matt and Jenn explain the sexual pursuer/responder dynamic that occurs in every marriage. Understanding your role in this dynamic provides a framework to better discuss and resolve sexual conflicts in your marriage.

1. Identify your role in the Pursuer/Responder dynamic in your marriage when it comes to sex (and other areas). Recognize that it’s not wrong or right to be either one, you just have to be the best responder or pursuer that you can be.
2. When it comes to confronting sexual desire differences, understand that the conflict is usually not about who likes sex more or whether or not one spouse loves and cares for the other. Rather, you each have attached a different meaning to sex.
3. Recognize the “toxic cycle” that initiates when a Pursuer’s advances are interpreted as “pressure” and a Responder reacts by “withdrawing.” 
4. Next week, we’ll discuss some practical ways to recognize the toxic cycle, how to avoid it, and how to repair the damage.

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]

Sign up for the 2020 Annual Marriage Retreat, September 24-26. Day Passes are still available: www.intimatecovenant.com/events/retreat


Cherishing,

Matt & Jenn
www.intimatecovenant.com

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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Matt & Jenn continue the discussion about how to talk to your kids about sex. This time they cover important conversations to be having as your kids reach certain age milestones:

1. Sex education begins with language and anatomy at a very early age. This is the time to start to getting yourself comfortable with the conversation.
2. Prepare your child for outside influences before they are likely to be exposed. A reactive response is never better than a proactive plan.
3. Ultimately, your job is to transition from teaching to equipping. Establish yourself as a safe and reliable place to share and to discuss, instead of shame and judgement.

Thanks for listening! Submit your questions, comments or suggestions: [email protected]

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer - Daniel DeGarmo
Music - Jonathan Dow

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Matt & Jenn talk about having "The Talk" with your kids:

1. “The talk” is NOT sufficient to educate your kids properly about sex and their sexuality. Start the conversation now so that you become the trusted source for sex information instead of their peers, the internet, and Satan himself.
2. Talk plainly and positively. Use real words.
3. You can’t teach your kids what you don’t believe yourself. Becoming comfortable with your own sexuality is an important step in teaching your kids.

Jenn recommended two sets of books to help guide the conversation:

• God’s Design for Sex, by Stan & Brenna Jones (4-book series)
• The Sex Ed Series, by Luke and Trisha Gilkerson (3-book series)

Thanks for listening! Submit your questions, comments or suggestions: [email protected]

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Podcast Credits:
Announcer: Daniel DeGarmo
Music: Jonathan Dow

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Do you know where your "poolally" is? Me neither... 
Matt & Jenn discuss the importance of knowing your sexual anatomy, and your spouse's.

1. If you hope to maximize your pleasure, and your spouse’s pleasure, you have to know where the parts are and what they do.
2. Girls do have a vagina - but more inclusively and more importantly, girls have a vulva - with a clitoris.
3. Claiming holy sexuality for your marriage requires uncovering the shame that Satan has dumped on you. Naming your parts is an important first step in this journey towards vulnerable, intimate, beautiful sexuality with your beloved.

Submit your questions, comments or suggestions: [email protected]

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer - Daniel DeGarmo
Music - Jonathan Dow

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Matt and Jenn kick off this brand new podcast with a discussion about the very definition of sex.

1. Broaden your definition of sex: change your language and your mindset
2. Broaden your sexual experience to be sure that each partner is being blessed by sexual pleasure.
3. Use sex as a gateway to closeness and oneness, not just orgasm or sexual release.

Submit your questions, comments or suggestions: [email protected]

www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer - Daniel DeGarmo
Music - Jonathan Dow

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If you’re new to our podcast, we think this is a great episode to start with. That’s why we’ve put it at the beginning of our podcast directory. Thanks for joining us. We pray that our story will bless your marriage.

In this episode, Matt & Jenn share their personal struggles with marriage and sex. You won't want to miss this touching and vulnerable episode.

1. We want you to know that you’re not alone. We know brokenness. But we also know redemption, restoration and unity through the power of the gospel and God’s plan for marriage and sex.
2. We’re here to share that with you and to build a community for vulnerability and encouragement.

Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in September: https://intimatecovenant.com/retreat

Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to [email protected]
Thanks for sharing, rating and subscribing!

Cherishing,
Matt & Jenn

PS — If you are interested in bringing Matt & Jenn to your church or small group to speak about the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and sexuality, please contact us: [email protected]



www.intimatecovenant.com
Intimate Covenant | Matt & Jenn Schmidt

Credits:
Announcer — Daniel DeGarmo
Music — Jonathan Dow

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