Is Our Love ____? with Lola Jean & The Reluctant Sexpert

Black men in particular are one of the most objectified groups in porn. Black men are a porn genre, which begs the question of why race is a genre….BBC is more than just a porn SEO tag, it is a colloquialism, signaling on dating apps and even a proclaimed sexual lifestyle. Though we may think we are idolizing the black male body, where does this notion come from, how is it perpetuated and how do those on the receiving end experience it? King Noir is no stranger to speaking out politically and sexually. Experiencing this objectification first hand in both the music industry and the sex industry, King has navigated these mirroring communities for decades. King helps us decode how the industry dehumanizes porn performers and the ripple effect to marginalized folx outside of the industry.

Find all of King's content on kingnoire.com

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

The end of episode song this week is King Noire "Hu$tle Matrimony" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

An Educator for Sex Educators? A more and more common question these days as more sexuality professionals emerge is: "How can I do that too?" The road to becoming a sexuality professional is murky. Even murkier is how to make that career or side-hustle a viable one. Enter Cameron Glover, whose goal is to make your sex ed business as successful as it can be with the Sex Ed Business Academy. Certifications, training programs, mentorship...there isn't one go-to path for all individuals. What makes a Sex Educator good at their job? What makes them "official" and who are we waiting for to grant us those titles? Cameron has us question who content is made for and why so many people have imposter syndrome. Whether you're interested in the sex-ed field or not, Cameron lays down some business advice that's applicable for everyone.

For more of Cameron's work & info on the Sex Ed Business Academy: cameronglover.com

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

The end of episode song this week is Fuck Buttons, "Red Wing" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

This week we continue our venture into the world of literotica with someone who can not only call themselves an erotica writer but a sex toy inventor as well. Tabitha Rayne is a decorated writer who draws more on fiction than reality. Penning her dirty words as a way to finesse typing and molding her own rideable toy as a means to get off while her fingers flowed, Tabitha quite literally continues to fall into success. Tabitha brings the fun back into saying, writing and reading certain words. We grill Tabitha on where the bridge between written and spoken dirty words--if at all, how you can get into writing your own smut, and how to use erotica in your own life. PLUS, we continue to ask the age old question: Why were people always hiding porn magazines in bushes?

You can find all of Tabitha's work on tabitharayne.com and purchase a ruby glow at therubyglow.com

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice (or just want to share a story) Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

The end of episode song this week is LAPS "Mojo" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

For all of the visual stimuli we are bombarded with and lack of sexual communication it's no wonder we are ill equipped to whisper sweet nothings into our persons ear. Enter: Peekaboo Collins. Whether it's poetry or short stories, Peekaboo weaves a web of syllables and phrases of the lead up, and the in-betweens of every scintillating moment. We learn that not all erotica has to depict fantasy, and how we can rewrite our own stories in the best possible light….if we want. From the bathroom blowjob that never happened to a built up childhood crush that ultimately leads to being disappointed, everyone has one of those stories that we've romanticized or dreamt better than reality. Peekaboo chose to write about it. What are you waiting for, time to finish your own story or create a new one.

You can find Peekaboo's work at peekaboocollins.com and @peekaboocollins

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice (or just want to share a story) Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

The end of episode song this week is Peaches "Talk To Me"

Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

What is a norm and how do you know if you're willingly or unwillingly abiding by it? By now we know our formative years at least have some influence in our worldview. Does that mean norms are good? Bad? or do they not even matter at all? Porn performer and activist Lync Johnson (@lyncjohnson3x) takes us through his formative years and how his lack of societal influence helped him form norms of his own. From a unique first time experience to rejecting labels, Lync's journey down memory lane has us all questioning our societal influences and how norms can be particularly gendered. PLUS a listener gets some words of advice from Julia Koewer (@JuliaKoerwer) LMSW on finding affordable therapy for a new lover.

Follow Lync everywhere: allmylinks.com/lyncjohnson

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

The end of episode song this week is Suicide "Dream Baby Dream" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

By now we all know what consent means…..or do we? How much do you really know and what can an intimacy coordinator teach you about your current understanding? Alot, it turns out. If you thought consent = permission, this week is for you. Intimacy coordinator Mia Schachter (@miaschachter) graces our presence to boost our understanding of consent and what most people get wrong within their understanding. We can all use a better understanding of consent and how boundaries relate to it both sexually and non-sexually. Mia lets us in on the burgeoning Intimacy Coordinator role, how she came about it, and why she is surprisingly not always well received. Plus we learn what the fuck prosody is, what we can learn from it and why we should all be critical consumers.

You can find more information on Mia's work, upcoming workshops, and her podcast at sharetheloadinc.com.

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

The end of episode song this week is Rival Schools "Hooligans For Life"

Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

What role does film and media play in our love and in our lives? Does culture reflect film or vice versa? This week we are joined by the charismatic Nia Ashley who takes us on her film journey and the media that impacted her life. We reflect on what happened to the era of UPN series and why TV has taken one step forward and three steps back. Nia helps us navigate if we can still love art and artists that we now see through problematic glasses. Nia represents a burgeoning generation eager to create the narratives they so sorely missed.

Find Nia's work at niaashley.com

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

The end of episode song this week is Thao & The Get Down Stay Down "Pure Cinema"

Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

This week we're joined by southern sexuality superhuman Marla Stewart, whose impressive body of work speaks for itself. Co-founder of the Sex Down South conference, Marla is already making history and a forging new educated era in sex and sexuality. Plus... she loves an uncomfortable conversation as much as we do. From strip club culture to pop culture we discuss how history and geographical location influences cultural upbringing. Oh, and we take a highly academic lens to the impact and significance of WAP.

Follow Marla at: @1marlastewart Coaching, Workshops & Education: velvetlipssexed.com And sign up for the upcoming virtual and IRL Sex Down South Conference: sexdownsouth.com

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Based on the number of pro dommes we've had on this podcast the past few weeks, we need a little reminder that good, old fashioned, fuck yes, traditional sex is still fucking fantastic and fun for all! We are joined this week by Sex Educator and Youtuber Hannah Witton who's advocating for the conventional. Marriage, kids, monogamy. What does it mean to be sexually progressive when you tic so many privileged boxes? How do you handle secret fantasies or masturbating to an ex in a committed relationship? Find out how Hannah sometimes treats her relationship like a job performance review, and why you should too.

Follow Hanna on instagram, youtube, her podcast DOING IT! and check out all her books, content, etc. on Hannawitton.com

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

This weeks' end of episode song is The Clean "Tally Ho" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Oh I'm sorry... did you think we were an good-vibes-all-the-time podcast? Stephens inner goth gets to let loose as we welcome this week's fascinating guest Audrey Fatale. We learn all about the death industry and how Audrey navigated her way through it. Find out what secondary trauma response is, what one learns working at a morgue and in traumatic bereavement, and how she's brought alllllll of that into BDSM. From necrophiles to the funeral business, whether you avoid the topic of death, run right towards it, or you happen to eroticize it - we cover the gamut in this episode of Is Our Love.

You can find Audrey Fatale at: mistressfatale.com

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

This weeks' end of episode song is the timelessly brilliant but *so* painfully sad Scott Walker "My Death" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com