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00:02:55 Are You a Conversational Narcissist?

00:11:01 The Power of the Support Response

00:17:03 ALBRECHT’S RULE OF THREE FOR CONVERSATIONS

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• The biggest threat to connecting well with others is conversational narcissism—i.e., the tendency of centering ourselves, talking too much, steering the topic, interrupting, invalidating others, bragging, manipulating, or acting superior to others. Everyone has the potential to be narcissistic in conversation at times.

• A shift response is an attempt to bring the focus and attention of a conversation back to yourself. A support response maintains that focus and attention on the other person. A great way to reduce conversational narcissism is to use fewer shift responses and more support responses. When used well, support responses lead to better, more fulfilling conversations for everyone.

• Dr. Karl Albrecht says that all conversations can be broken down into three fundamental components: declaratives, questions, and conditionals. His rule of three is to never make three declarative statements in a row without a question or conditional statement.

• Declarations can be presented as statements of fact whether they are or aren’t, and can shut down conversations or act as shift responses. Conditionals are modified, weaker forms of declarations that acknowledge their own subjectivity.

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