Marriage Lab

Is your spouse pushing your buttons? Conflict & Boundaries in Action


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In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk through a conflict they had that morning. This particular one was not a new dynamic in their relationship and had created disconnection many times before. However, this time they successfully paused in dysregulation, intentionally moved towards connection and set some boundaries.

Main takeaways:

  • If your buttons are getting pushed, remember, they are your buttons and you are responsible for them
  • If you are the one unintentionally pushing buttons, it's not your fault that they have those buttons, but choose kindness and stop pushing
  • Boundaries are meant to protect the connection, not just yourself.
  • Pausing when you get highly dysregulated (read: triggered, highly emotional) can keep your conflict from becoming War (war = for there to be peace, only one person can be right or win; conflict = for there to be peace, two people can see it differently)
  • Nurturing fondness for your spouse through intentional gratitude can change your heart and lead to quicker connection when there is conflict

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Links:

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Marriage LabBy Aaron & Jenna Zint

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