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Feeling like you're carrying the weight of parenting while your partner merely "helps out" when asked? This tension over unbalanced parenting responsibilities ranks among the most relationship-threatening conflicts couples face—often leading to questions about whether you've chosen the right partner.

Through the story of Sam and Leah, we explore a scenario that resonates with countless parents: Leah handles 80% of child-related tasks and 90% of the emotional labor while working full-time, while Sam consistently drops the ball on important events despite reminders. When Trevor's school performance becomes the latest casualty of this dynamic, the resulting argument reveals much deeper issues about parenting partnership.

We introduce a framework of three distinct parenting partner types that can transform how you understand your relationship struggles. Are you dealing with a "do nothing partner" who leaves everything to you, a "well-intentioned helper" who needs constant direction, or a "mutually overwhelmed partner partner" who genuinely tries to balance responsibilities but occasionally falters? Recognizing these patterns helps couples move beyond mischaracterization and defensiveness toward constructive solutions.

For overburdened partners, we provide actionable strategies to express frustration effectively, set clear boundaries, and make invisible labor visible. For non-default parents, we offer guidance on acknowledging your partner's valid concerns, setting aside defensiveness, and adopting the mindset that "there is no someone else"—if you see something needing attention, you are the resource to handle it.

The episode culminates with a model repair conversation and introduces our System Check for Parenting Partners tool—a practical resource for regularly evaluating and redistributing family responsibilities. Remember, successful co-parenting isn't about maintaining a perfect 50-50 split; it's about both partners taking responsibility, communicating openly, and ensuring neither feels consistently overburdened.

Ready to transform your parenting partnership? Download our System Check worksheet and start creating the balanced, supportive family dynamic you both deserve: https://couplescounselingforparents.kit.com/system_check_worksheet?_gl=1*wjhcmd*_gcl_au*NzM3MjEwNzE2LjE3NTYyMTAzMzIuMTI2ODI4NDA2NS4xNzU2MjEwMzM5LjE3NTYyMTE3OTE

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Ever find yourself locked in a heated argument with your partner over something that seems trivial—like whether your child can ride their bike in the street instead of on the sidewalk? These everyday parenting disagreements can quickly escalate, leaving you both frustrated and disconnected, despite agreeing on your broader parenting philosophy.

Today we tackle these seemingly minor differences that create major tension. While many couples align on core values, discipline approaches, and long-term goals, it's often the day-to-day decisions where conflicts emerge. One parent feels strongly about saying "no" while the other sees no problem with "yes"—and suddenly you're in a standoff that feels much bigger than the issue at hand.

Through our case example of Hunter and Ren disagreeing about bike riding boundaries, we demonstrate how these conflicts aren't really about rules, but about what feels safe, what feels risky, and what makes each parent anxious. We share our personal experiences too, from water safety concerns at a lake house to differing perspectives on outdoor risks while camping or hiking.

The good news? We offer a practical three-step process to transform these moments from conflict to connection. First, understand how this issue became important to each of you—what past experiences or fears shape your perspective? Second, recognize what your partner is seeing from your communication style—are they feeling dismissed or controlled? Finally, identify where you can find common ground that addresses both of your underlying concerns.

Remember, strong reactions signal importance, not irrationality. When your partner keeps pushing a point that seems minor to you, try responding with curiosity rather than dismissal. By approaching differences with genuine respect and working to find solutions that honor both perspectives, you'll strengthen your partnership and create more harmony in your parenting journey.

Ready to transform how you handle parenting differences? Schedule a free consultation with us through the link in our show description, and discover how to navigate these challenges together.

Schedule your free consult here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

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The back-to-school season brings a whirlwind of activity that can leave even the strongest relationships feeling disconnected. Soccer schedules, school supplies, and new routines create a perfect storm where couples find themselves working efficiently as logistics partners but missing each other as romantic partners.

This episode tackles the reality that many parents face during transitional seasons: feeling like you've "gone away" from yourself and your relationship. Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP explore how even couples who excel at coordinating family life can struggle to maintain meaningful connection when schedules explode.

We introduce three practical strategies for staying connected without requiring what most parents simply don't have – abundant free time. Through self-reflection, curiosity about your partner, and reimagining how connection happens, couples can maintain intimacy during chaotic seasons. The key insight? Micro-moments matter. Just as small disconnections accumulate to create distance, intentional moments of connection – even just a minute or two – build a foundation of closeness that sustains relationships through busy parenting years.

Using the story of Gabby and Latrice, we demonstrate how real couples can incorporate these practices into everyday moments like brushing teeth together or sending a thoughtful text. You'll learn how to ask questions that truly invite your partner to share, how to use the time you already have for meaningful reflection, and how to appreciate connection attempts even when they don't land perfectly.

Whether you're in the thick of back-to-school madness or navigating any busy season of family life, this episode offers hope that your relationship doesn't have to disappear when time feels impossible. Try our three-step approach and discover how small moments can create lasting connection during life's busiest chapters.

Want to talk with Stephen or Erin individually or as a couple for coaching? Schedule a free consult today: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

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Remember when you first fell in love? That magical feeling of finding someone who didn't trigger your deepest wounds but seemed to heal them instead? Fast forward through careers, kids, and countless responsibilities, and suddenly those same wounds are wide open again – activated by the very person who once soothed them.

This episode tackles the universal feeling many couples experience but rarely discuss openly: the sense that your partner is actually making your life harder rather than easier. Through the relatable story of Greg and Lucia's conflict over forgotten sports equipment, we unpack how seemingly small disagreements transform into major emotional disconnections. For Greg, whose childhood featured constant criticism, his partner's frustration triggers deep feelings of inadequacy. For Lucia, whose father's absence left lasting abandonment wounds, her partner's oversight reinforces her fear of handling everything alone.

The breakthrough comes in understanding that our relational pain doesn't disappear – but we can change how we respond to it. When both partners recognize what's really happening beneath surface-level conflicts, conversation shifts from blame to understanding. We provide a practical framework for effective repair: validating each other's experiences, acknowledging impact, taking responsibility, and committing to future changes. As we demonstrate through Greg and Lucia's repair conversation, this approach allows couples to honor both their individual wounds and their shared commitment to connection.

Most powerfully, we explore the crucial distinction that explanations are not excuses. Understanding why you react strongly to certain triggers doesn't absolve you from taking responsibility – it empowers you to respond differently. When couples embrace this principle, they transform from adversaries into allies, using their stories not as weapons but as bridges for deeper understanding.

Ready to break free from recurring conflicts and build a stronger connection with your partner? Schedule a free consultation through our website to learn how our unique couples coaching approach can help you move from conflict to true partnership or paste this link your URL to view our consultation calendar: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

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In this milestone 100th episode of Couples Counseling for Parents, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP reflect on the transformative relationship wisdom they've gathered over the years of working with couples facing the unique challenges of parenthood.

The insights they share are both profound and practical. They discuss how true bravery emerges when couples face their deepest fears and vulnerabilities; how humility creates openings for healing; and how our universal desire to be truly seen and accepted drives relationship dynamics. The Mitchells explain why genuine curiosity defuses tension, why understanding your partner's childhood story transforms how you perceive conflicts, and why celebrating joy deserves as much attention as addressing problems.

Perhaps most powerfully, they reveal how parenting often becomes the catalyst that inspires couples to break dysfunctional patterns. "Having kids amplifies what you want in life and makes you fight for it," they observe. "Your life didn't diminish when you had children—it gave you permission to ask for more."

Throughout their conversation, Stephen and Erin weave in practical examples from their own relationship, demonstrating how these principles play out in real life. They emphasize that the goal isn't to eliminate conflict (an impossible and boring aim) but to transform how we approach it, gradually reducing its intensity, duration, and frequency.

Whether you're just starting your parenting journey or navigating its challenges years in, these insights offer a roadmap to more connected, resilient relationships. Ready to transform how you communicate with your partner? This episode shows you the way forward.

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

Remember when you and your partner felt like soulmates, deeply connected and growing stronger together? Then parenthood arrived, and suddenly those old insecurities you thought were healed came rushing back with surprising force. You're not alone, and no—you didn't make a mistake choosing each other.

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP state, "What's happening is a normal developmental challenge that catches most couples by surprise." The intense stress of parenting activates our nervous systems, bringing along familiar patterns, thoughts and feelings from our past. Your partner, who once soothed these core wounds, seems to be triggering them at the worst possible moment.

Through the story of Annabeth and Selena, we explore how one partner's feeling of "everything falls on me" collides with the other's sense that "nothing I do is ever enough"—creating a painful cycle that many parents recognize. When Annabeth expresses feeling overwhelmed and alone, Selena withdraws, feeling criticized and inadequate. Each response intensifies the other's core wound, despite their deep love for each other.

The path forward isn't about solving logistical problems or dividing tasks differently. It begins with understanding which pattern you tend toward, exploring the deeper stories behind your reactions, and learning to talk about the feelings themselves rather than arguing about surface issues. When partners can vulnerably share "When this happens, I notice I start feeling alone like I did growing up" instead of launching into criticism or defensiveness, everything changes.

This episode offers a four-step process to transform these painful cycles into opportunities for deeper connection. You'll learn to recognize your pattern, understand its origins, communicate vulnerably about the feelings, and establish regular check-ins to prevent buildup.

Ready to turn relationship regression into progression? Listen now, and discover how the very wounds causing disconnection can become your pathway to profound intimacy.

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Navigating the complexities of ADHD in relationships requires more than just understanding the condition—it demands a thoughtful approach to communication, empathy, and mutual support. 

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP tackle the tough questions head-on: 

• What do you do when your partner acknowledges their ADHD but refuses any support or treatment? 
• How can you communicate the impact of their behaviors without triggering shame? 
• What happens when you notice your partner criticizing ADHD traits in your child—the very same traits they demonstrate themselves? 

Each of these scenarios creates unique relationship dynamics that can either strengthen or fracture your partnership, depending on how you navigate them.

The heart of this episode is our five-step process for addressing ADHD in relationships. It begins with truly believing your partner's experience, whether they're sharing how ADHD affects them or how they're impacted by your ADHD behaviors. The second critical step is removing shame from the equation—no belittling, no treating your partner like "another child," no judgment. From there, we emphasize education, understanding each other's ADHD stories, and finally taking meaningful action through appropriate supports.

Ready to transform how you and your partner talk about ADHD? Listen now, and discover how to replace criticism with curiosity, defensiveness with understanding, and conflict with compassion. Your relationship—and your family—will thank you.

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

The complexity of ADHD can transform a loving partnership into a battlefield of misunderstanding, shame, and resentment—especially when children enter the picture. After receiving an overwhelming response to a social media post about ADHD in relationships, we knew we needed to address this increasingly common challenge faced by parenting partners.

In this first episode of our two-part series, we explore four specific scenarios where ADHD creates conflict between parenting partners: when the default parent has ADHD, when the non-default parent has ADHD, when both partners have ADHD, and when parenting a child with ADHD. Drawing from professional expertise and personal experience, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP dive into how ADHD affects parenting partner relationships and leads to disconnection and conflict. 

Stephen and Erin unpack the neurological reality of ADHD as more than just a willpower issue, examining how dopamine processing affects everything from organization to emotional regulation. Most importantly, we reveal how deeply-rooted shame narratives can drive defensive reactions when partners express frustration, creating cycles of conflict that feel impossible to break.

Whether you suspect ADHD plays a role in your relationship challenges or you're already navigating this reality, this episode offers validation, clarity, and hope. Join us next week when we'll share specific processes for resolving these conflicts and building stronger connections despite—and sometimes because of—your neurodivergent partnership.

Resources mentioned in show: 

ADHD 2.0 book link: https://a.co/d/hBLUekw

@alex_partridge_100

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What happens when two loving parents disagree about how to respond to their child's behavior? This deeply personal episode dives into one of the most challenging conflicts couples face—differing parenting approaches.

Through the story of Justin and Lori, we examine how bedtime struggles with their six-year-old son leads to couple conflict. Justin believes in firm boundaries and worries about being manipulated, while Lori focuses on understanding what's driving their son's behavior. This scenario leaves both parents feeling misunderstood and judged by their partner.

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP unpack the neuroscience of effective parenting—acknowledging a child's experience, attuning to their emotional state, and reflecting/mirroring what we observe—while honestly addressing why this approach can be difficult to implement consistently in real life. Most importantly, they explore how our own childhood experiences create emotional triggers that make these conversations particularly charged. Stephen shares how his resistance stems from not wanting to parent like his father, while Erin reflects on how being raised by a busy single mother shaped her approach to structure and boundaries.

The path forward isn't about determining who's right, but understanding what drives our reactions and learning to "parent on purpose" instead of from automatic patterns. By approaching these differences with kindness and curiosity, couples can move from rigid opposition to thoughtful collaboration.

Want more resources to help transform your essential relationship conflicts into deeper connection? Our book "Too Tired to Fight" gives you practical tools to navigate the 13 conflicts every couple faces, including parenting differences. Available wherever books are sold: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

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Life as a parent can often feel like a flood of responsibilities, expectations, and emotional exhaustion. In this episode, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP, address the cycle of invalidation that can arise between partners as they try to juggle tasks and manage parenting stress. Through the story of Raj and Brynn, we explore how feelings of being overworked and underappreciated can lead to mutual invalidation in relationships. 

Join us in uncovering the steps necessary to shift out of a cycle of invalidation into a pattern of offering vulnerability and validation. Tune in for meaningful insights and real world scripts that can help you strengthen your couple relationship as you parent.