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Remember when you and your partner felt like soulmates, deeply connected and growing stronger together? Then parenthood arrived, and suddenly those old insecurities you thought were healed came rushing back with surprising force. You're not alone, and no—you didn't make a mistake choosing each other.
Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP state, "What's happening is a normal developmental challenge that catches most couples by surprise." The intense stress of parenting activates our nervous systems, bringing along familiar patterns, thoughts and feelings from our past. Your partner, who once soothed these core wounds, seems to be triggering them at the worst possible moment.
Through the story of Annabeth and Selena, we explore how one partner's feeling of "everything falls on me" collides with the other's sense that "nothing I do is ever enough"—creating a painful cycle that many parents recognize. When Annabeth expresses feeling overwhelmed and alone, Selena withdraws, feeling criticized and inadequate. Each response intensifies the other's core wound, despite their deep love for each other.
The path forward isn't about solving logistical problems or dividing tasks differently. It begins with understanding which pattern you tend toward, exploring the deeper stories behind your reactions, and learning to talk about the feelings themselves rather than arguing about surface issues. When partners can vulnerably share "When this happens, I notice I start feeling alone like I did growing up" instead of launching into criticism or defensiveness, everything changes.
This episode offers a four-step process to transform these painful cycles into opportunities for deeper connection. You'll learn to recognize your pattern, understand its origins, communicate vulnerably about the feelings, and establish regular check-ins to prevent buildup.
Ready to turn relationship regression into progression? Listen now, and discover how the very wounds causing disconnection can become your pathway to profound intimacy.
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.
Navigating the complexities of ADHD in relationships requires more than just understanding the condition—it demands a thoughtful approach to communication, empathy, and mutual support.
Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP tackle the tough questions head-on:
Each of these scenarios creates unique relationship dynamics that can either strengthen or fracture your partnership, depending on how you navigate them.
The heart of this episode is our five-step process for addressing ADHD in relationships. It begins with truly believing your partner's experience, whether they're sharing how ADHD affects them or how they're impacted by your ADHD behaviors. The second critical step is removing shame from the equation—no belittling, no treating your partner like "another child," no judgment. From there, we emphasize education, understanding each other's ADHD stories, and finally taking meaningful action through appropriate supports.
Ready to transform how you and your partner talk about ADHD? Listen now, and discover how to replace criticism with curiosity, defensiveness with understanding, and conflict with compassion. Your relationship—and your family—will thank you.
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.
The complexity of ADHD can transform a loving partnership into a battlefield of misunderstanding, shame, and resentment—especially when children enter the picture. After receiving an overwhelming response to a social media post about ADHD in relationships, we knew we needed to address this increasingly common challenge faced by parenting partners.
In this first episode of our two-part series, we explore four specific scenarios where ADHD creates conflict between parenting partners: when the default parent has ADHD, when the non-default parent has ADHD, when both partners have ADHD, and when parenting a child with ADHD. Drawing from professional expertise and personal experience, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP dive into how ADHD affects parenting partner relationships and leads to disconnection and conflict.
Stephen and Erin unpack the neurological reality of ADHD as more than just a willpower issue, examining how dopamine processing affects everything from organization to emotional regulation. Most importantly, we reveal how deeply-rooted shame narratives can drive defensive reactions when partners express frustration, creating cycles of conflict that feel impossible to break.
Whether you suspect ADHD plays a role in your relationship challenges or you're already navigating this reality, this episode offers validation, clarity, and hope. Join us next week when we'll share specific processes for resolving these conflicts and building stronger connections despite—and sometimes because of—your neurodivergent partnership.
Resources mentioned in show:
ADHD 2.0 book link: https://a.co/d/hBLUekw
@alex_partridge_100
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.
What happens when two loving parents disagree about how to respond to their child's behavior? This deeply personal episode dives into one of the most challenging conflicts couples face—differing parenting approaches.
Through the story of Justin and Lori, we examine how bedtime struggles with their six-year-old son leads to couple conflict. Justin believes in firm boundaries and worries about being manipulated, while Lori focuses on understanding what's driving their son's behavior. This scenario leaves both parents feeling misunderstood and judged by their partner.
Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP unpack the neuroscience of effective parenting—acknowledging a child's experience, attuning to their emotional state, and reflecting/mirroring what we observe—while honestly addressing why this approach can be difficult to implement consistently in real life. Most importantly, they explore how our own childhood experiences create emotional triggers that make these conversations particularly charged. Stephen shares how his resistance stems from not wanting to parent like his father, while Erin reflects on how being raised by a busy single mother shaped her approach to structure and boundaries.
The path forward isn't about determining who's right, but understanding what drives our reactions and learning to "parent on purpose" instead of from automatic patterns. By approaching these differences with kindness and curiosity, couples can move from rigid opposition to thoughtful collaboration.
Want more resources to help transform your essential relationship conflicts into deeper connection? Our book "Too Tired to Fight" gives you practical tools to navigate the 13 conflicts every couple faces, including parenting differences. Available wherever books are sold: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.
Life as a parent can often feel like a flood of responsibilities, expectations, and emotional exhaustion. In this episode, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP, address the cycle of invalidation that can arise between partners as they try to juggle tasks and manage parenting stress. Through the story of Raj and Brynn, we explore how feelings of being overworked and underappreciated can lead to mutual invalidation in relationships.
Join us in uncovering the steps necessary to shift out of a cycle of invalidation into a pattern of offering vulnerability and validation. Tune in for meaningful insights and real world scripts that can help you strengthen your couple relationship as you parent.
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.
This episode dives into the dynamics of emotional regulation between partners in stressful parenting moments, highlighting the contrasting coping behaviors of downshifting and upshifting. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP provide practical insights using a relatable case study, illustrating how couples can navigate these tensions and foster meaningful communication to create a supportive family environment.
• Explaining the downshift-upshift coping dynamic in relationships
• Analyzing a common conflict scenario in parenting
• Discussing the role of everyday stressors on couple dynamics
• Introducing the concept of co-regulation between partners
• Offering actionable strategies for improving communication during stress
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.
In this episode, we explore the pervasive issue of resentment in couple relationships, particularly among parents. We discuss its roots in unexpressed emotions and decision-making conflicts, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability, active listening, and mutual understanding to resolve underlying issues and prevent resentment from taking hold. Here is what we cover in the show:
• Resentment often arises from feelings of being undervalued or unheard
• Parenting pressures can exacerbate feelings of resentment
• Major life decisions often become breeding grounds for resentment
• Vulnerability and transparency are essential for healthy conversations
• Mutual understanding plays a key role in decision-making dynamics
• Listening without defensiveness fosters connection and heals rifts
• Conflict can be an opportunity for growth and intimacy
• Practical insights for managing resentment in relationships offered
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.
Ever wonder how parenting impacts your intimate relationship? Join us for a compelling conversation with renowned sex expert Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons as she shares insights from her latest book, "Good Sex." She dives into the challenges of maintaining a healthy sexual relationship amidst the responsibilities of parenthood. Dr. Hargons, an associate professor at Emory University, offers a compassionate perspective on navigating the changing dynamics of intimacy. She emphasizes the importance of communication and renegotiating relationship terms as couples journey through different stages of parenting.
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.
This episode addresses the often invisible burden carried by default caregivers like Tasha, who find themselves overwhelmed by both family and partner expectations. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP, delve into the mismatched needs that arise from these dynamics, frequently leading to misunderstandings and conflict. Through thoughtful discussion, we focus on the critical role of open communication and self-awareness in breaking free from outdated norms that perpetuate inequality. By examining how Tasha's partner, Paul, may inadvertently contribute to this imbalance, we highlight the need for intentionality and shared responsibility within family units.
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.
This episode dives into six transformative principles for strengthening couple relationships amidst the challenges of parenting. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP encourage listeners to embrace unity in problem-solving, assume positive intent, grant each other space, seek counseling early, practice patience and grace, and confront fears openly. The six principles discussed are:
• It's me and you against the problem not us against each other
• Be quicker to assume good intent than ill intent
• Let each other walk away when we're over the limit. We will work it out soon.
• Start counseling sooner to heal inner wounds
• Patience and Grace
• Don't be afraid of the unknown
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
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