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Defensiveness can be a significant roadblock in relationships, particularly among parenting partners. The episode delves into how defensiveness complicates communication, using the example of Kylie and Leslie and their conflict over forgotten pasta. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP emphasize leading with accountability and following up with vulnerability as crucial steps towards breaking the cycle of defensiveness. Here's what we cover in the episode:

• Analysis of a scenario involving Kylie and Leslie stuck in a defensive cycle and looking for answers on how to end the cycle
• Understand why defensiveness often arises as a protective mechanism
• The Two Step process for ending defensiveness in your relationship 
• We differentiate between simple apologies and true relationship repair
• Sample script on how to have the conversation with your partner

 
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Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP discuss the "Embodiment Chasm," a concept that highlights the different experiential realities between parenting partners. Through the story of Maria and Todd, the hosts explore how the differences in parenting experiences can lead to misunderstandings, and they offer insights on communication strategies to overcome this chasm for a healthier relationship. 

• Introducing the concept of the Embodiment Chasm 
• Case study of Maria and Todd's experience of the Embodiment Chasm 
• How the Embodiment Chasm creates the roles of Default and Non-default parent 
• Barriers in communication caused by the Embodiment Chasm in a couple relationship 
• Strategies for overcoming these barriers and fostering connection and understanding 
• Sample Script of how couples can start the conversation and resolve the barriers created by the embodiment Chasm

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

The holidays can be magical. The holidays can also be lonely and sad due to family drama, the loss of a loved one, not living close to family etc. Many times couples can experience conflict balancing the desire for a magical holiday and not wanting to ignore the "lonely" reality of the season too. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP will give you and your partner practical tips and scripts that you and your partner can use to stay connected in the midst of the tension between the magic and loneliness of the holiday season. 

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

What happens when you're physically present but emotionally checked out during family gatherings? Meet Jameson and Mel, a couple whose holiday season often spirals into tension due to mismatched engagement levels. Listen as we unpack their story to understand the significant difference between simply showing up and being emotionally present. Their experience is a common struggle for many couples, especially during the stress-filled holiday season. We'll also share personal stories that remind us how easy it is to focus on tasks and miss the magic of significant family moments.

Picture this: one partner thrives in the hustle and bustle of holiday socializing, while the other is left feeling drained and overwhelmed. That's the dynamic between Mel and Jameson, and it’s not just about introversion or extroversion. We dive into how our nervous systems dictate social interaction and how past experiences shape the holiday expectations that can fuel misunderstandings and conflict. By understanding these elements—including common reactions like fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—we highlight the critical need for empathy and communication to navigate these social energy differences effectively.

Looking to connect more deeply with your partner this holiday season? Learn about the importance of understanding your own attachment style and how family background can influence your relationship dynamics. We tackle real-life challenges, from handling parenting stress to sharing the mental load, all while providing practical steps to reset and reconnect. Join us on this journey to strengthen meaningful engagement and create lasting memories with your loved ones, breaking free from unmet expectations and fostering true connection.

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

Master the art of navigating family dynamics during the holiday season and emerge with a stronger partnership. In this episode, we explore the pressures couples face when interacting with extended family, featuring the real-life example of Heidi and Renee. Their story sheds light on the challenges of holiday scheduling and differing family expectations, offering practical strategies to help couples present a united front and strengthen their bonds amidst festive chaos.

Reflecting on personal experiences, we dive into the complexities of early relationship dynamics. With anecdotes like being perceived as disengaged with a partner's family due to unexpected circumstances, we illustrate how seemingly minor incidents can set unintended tones for family interactions. By examining Heidi and Renee's decision to stay near Renee's family, we highlight the importance of open communication, addressing unspoken narratives, and understanding each partner's needs to foster healthier familial relationships.

Building on these insights, we emphasize the power of small, direct communications in mitigating family friction. Through Heidi and Renee's journey, we learn the importance of addressing underlying fears and presenting a united front as a couple. This episode serves as a guide for those feeling distant or overwhelmed, offering the first step towards a more fulfilling and connected partnership. Join us in this journey of partnerhood and discover how to reshape your relationship dynamics for a more harmonious holiday season.

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

What if understanding your past could transform your present relationships and parenting journey? This episode promises to guide you through the nuanced dynamics of becoming both a strong parent and partner, featuring the relatable story of Jude and Grant, who navigate the complexities of feeling disconnected amidst the whirlwind of parenting responsibilities. We unpack how personal histories shape our responses to stress and influence our parenting styles, enabling you to shift from reactive to intentional decision-making.

Explore the contrasting reactivity patterns with us—Grant's rigidity versus Jude's flexibility—and learn how empathy and communication can bridge the gap in any relationship. By recognizing behavior as a form of communication, this episode invites you to practice self-reflection and curiosity, shedding light on underlying issues and fostering healthier connections. We highlight the importance of supportive communities like Couples Counseling for Parents, creating an encouraging space for mutual growth and respect.

In our final chapter, we focus on rebuilding partnerships, offering practical strategies and workshops as a reset button for your relationship. By addressing real-life challenges such as the mental load at home or managing in-laws, you can reconnect meaningfully with your partner, even amidst the busyness of parenting. Join us on this journey of partnerhood, and help shape the partnership you truly desire. If you find our insights beneficial, don't forget to follow and rate us, spreading the word to others who may benefit from our story.

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

Transform passive-aggressive tension into moments of connection with proven communication strategies for parenting partners. Join us, Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, as we explore how understanding the essential pause between feeling and reaction can change the dynamic of your relationship. Unpacking a scenario with Nora and Thad, we reveal how undetected emotions often lead to conflict and how recognizing these feelings can lead to healthier interactions. Discover the power of conscious choice—a pivotal step toward nurturing communication that fosters deeper connections.

Embrace vulnerability to elevate your relationship to new heights. By highlighting underlying desires and emotions, we demonstrate how couples can replace conflict with direct and empathetic dialogue. Learn the art of suspending offense to engage in open and honest conversations, transforming possible arguments into opportunities for connection. Finally, discover practical workshops designed to guide you through strengthening your partnership. Whether you're feeling disconnected or seeking new ways to engage, our journey into "partnerhood" offers a roadmap to the relationship you've always desired. Follow along and help us reach others by rating our podcast.

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

Have you ever wondered if focusing too much on your kids might be pulling you away from your partner? Join us as we unravel this intricate conundrum through the lens of Regina and Sebastian, a couple attempting to juggle the needs of their relationship with the demands of raising three young children. This episode takes you on a journey beyond the surface-level conflicts to reveal the tender, unspoken plea of "I miss you" often hidden beneath the daily grind. With insights drawn from their story, we explore how couples can harmoniously nurture both their partnership and their family life.

We challenge the societal narrative that children automatically become hurdles to romantic relationships, inviting you to rethink how personal history and cultural expectations shape our perceptions. Regina and Sebastian's story serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of understanding one's own fears and desires, and how these can subtly influence relationship dynamics. By reframing the family not as competing responsibilities but as a united entity, we showcase how couples can find new ways to connect and grow together alongside their children.

Spontaneous moments, like a simple coffee break or an impromptu game, can reignite the spark between partners navigating the rigors of family life. We share practical strategies and introduce our Relationship Reconnection Series, designed for couples eager to understand their attachment styles and address stressors like parenting and in-laws. By fostering mutual understanding and shared experiences, couples can build a resilient partnership that stands strong amid life's challenges. Join us to learn how you can create meaningful connections with your partner while embracing the joys and trials of family life.

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

Unlock the secrets to a stronger parenting partnership as we explore the intricate interplay of trust and communication in relationships. What happens when differing parenting styles collide, especially during nighttime duties? Join us to uncover how real-life couple Devante and Steph navigate these challenges with their son, Tavon. Through their journey, you'll gain insights into recognizing underlying beliefs that fuel conflicts and learn strategies for building a harmonious parenting environment. 

In this episode, we highlight the power of understanding and validating your partner's feelings to transform disagreements into opportunities for connection. Drawing from practical examples and resources like "Too Tired to Fight," we share actionable advice on handling common relationship tensions, whether it's feeling like the default parent or dealing with in-law dynamics. As Devante and Steph work towards a more supportive partnership, we emphasize the profound impact a healthy relationship can have on parenting. Prioritize connection over conflict and discover how every challenge can lead to growth and deeper trust.

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.

Have you ever found yourself caught in a whirlwind of negative banter with your partner, wondering how it all escalated so quickly? Join us as we explore the pitfalls of critical behavior in relationships through the story of Janelle and Hector. This episode reveals how picking at each other's imperfections can create a cycle of resentment and disconnection. We promise you'll walk away with practical strategies to foster appreciation and teamwork, transforming those tense moments into opportunities for a stronger partnership.

Stress in parenting partnerships can often lead to rigidity and heightened criticism over small, everyday matters. Explore the dynamics of perceived and actual imbalances in relationships and learn how these can lead to feelings of being undervalued. Through candid discussions, we highlight the importance of recognizing each partner's efforts and maintaining a supportive bond. Communication and understanding are key, and we delve into the power of addressing inequalities to create a healthy and thriving relationship.

Finally, we provide a roadmap for turning conflict into connection, using Hector and Janelle's journey as a guide. By embracing each conflict as a chance for growth, we uncover strategies that help recognize the full scope of contributions each partner makes. Discover how shifting perspectives and acknowledging each other's values can transform your interactions, breaking the cycle of repetitive arguments. Listen in for valuable insights and tools to build a more harmonious and loving relationship with your partner.

Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422

Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp

Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15

Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells

Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...