We turned the conversation over to you and asked one powerful question: In what ways do you struggle with comparison? The overwhelming response was the realization that comparison shows up far more often than we think, especially around money, careers, bodies, relationships, and even our kids. We unpack why comparison feels so loud today, how much of what we see is a highlight reel, and why everyone’s starting point, values, and circumstances are completely different. From navigating career shifts and body image to friendships, marriage, and parenting, this episode is a reminder that you are not behind, broken, or doing life wrong. You are simply living your own version of it.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The sneaky ways comparison shows up, especially the thought of “What am I doing wrong and how can everyone else afford this?”
• Why social media hides financial stress, marriage struggles, and real life challenges.
• How different values and priorities shape what people choose to spend money and energy on.
• Career comparison and promotions, including Abby’s experience leaving the corporate world and redefining fulfillment.
• Why your job might not be the problem and how finding fulfillment outside of work can change everything.
• Body comparison, genetics, and why not everything is meant to come easily or naturally to everyone.
• The truth behind our friendship and why working together skews what people see.
• Comparing kids, milestones, achievements, and even siblings within the same family.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Parenting in a village isn’t anything new. It’s a necessity for many families, especially when extended family isn’t close by. In this episode, we talk candidly about what it really looks like to build and rely on a village of friends, neighbors, and other families. If you’ve never done this before, know that it can feel intimidating at first. Trusting others with your kids, your schedule, and your needs takes time and practice but it gets easier, and it’s worth it.

Key Topics Covered

• What it means to build a parenting village when family isn’t nearby.
• Why relying on others often starts out of necessity.
• How to ask for help clearly, specifically, and in a way that feels fair.
• Making drop-off birthday parties work for your family.
• When and how to incorporate paid support into your village.
• The impact of unexpected support and paying it forward.
• How building a village models healthy relationships and help-seeking for kids.
• Letting go of what you thought your village would look like and getting creative.
• Abby’s go-to coaching prompt for asking for help.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

What if the missing ingredient in your marriage, friendships, and parenting isn’t more fixing, but more fun? In this episode, we explore a powerful shift inspired by a viral quote: instead of always focusing on what’s wrong, what happens when we intentionally prioritize joy and play in our relationships?

We reflect on how fun often comes naturally in dating but slowly fades as responsibilities, exhaustion, and parenthood take over. Through our honest stories, we unpack why fun is essential, how to bring it back in small, realistic ways, and how it can transform not just your marriage, but your friendships and your experience of parenting.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why having more fun can be just as important as therapy for long-term relationships.
• How marriage dynamics shift after kids and why fun is often the first thing to disappear.
• Simple questions to help you take inventory of what actually feels fun and energizing right now.
• The difference between fun that happens away from your kids and fun you can create with them.
• Why shared experiences are key to deeper adult friendships and the power of being the one who sends the invite.
• A simple question to ask your kids to uncover when they feel most connected to you.
• Realistic, everyday ideas for adding more fun into parenting, even in busy seasons.

Fun isn’t optional. It’s often the thing that restores energy, strengthens connection, and makes this season of life feel lighter and more sustainable.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Friendship doesn’t stay the same as we move through different seasons of life. Many of us grow up with built-in friends from childhood or college, but as we move, build careers, get married, and have kids, our relationships naturally shift. In this episode, we’re not talking about casual friendships or surface-level connections. We’re diving into the deeper, dependable friendships that truly support us, especially as we near 40.

We share four key elements that define meaningful adult friendships. First, we talk about the importance of genuinely being proud of the people closest to us. True closeness often goes hand in hand with how someone makes us feel in our body and nervous system. The friends who help us feel calm, safe, and comfortable tend to be the ones who take relationships to the next level.

We also explore the value of friends who celebrate our wins. Everyone deserves people they can run to with exciting news, knowing it will be met with genuine joy. If a relationship consistently feels one-sided or competitive, it may be a sign that it’s not meant to be a deeply close friendship.

Life inevitably brings hard seasons, and we reflect on how powerful it is to have friends who show up when things get tough. We discuss how small acts, like following up when someone is going through something important, can leave a lasting impact and strengthen trust over time.

We also remind listeners that no friendship is perfect. A single comment or moment doesn’t have to define an entire relationship. When something doesn’t sit right, honest conversations can create deeper understanding and connection, especially when the friendship is built on mutual respect.

Finally, we talk about staying open to new friendships. You may not have met your future best friend yet. So many people are looking for meaningful connection, but it often takes courage, vulnerability, and someone willing to take the first step to make it happen.

Molly Millwood’s Book: https://amzlink.to/az0iWvIxqfuUD 

Listen to HERself episode #10 with Molly Millwood: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/10-herself-expert-molly-millwood-on-motherhood-marriage-and-the-modern-dilemma 

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Decision making doesn’t get easier as life gets fuller and for many women, the constant stream of choices can feel exhausting. In this episode we unpack what decision fatigue really looks like, how it shows up in work and family life, and why trusting yourself is often the most important part of the process.

Abby kicks things off by breaking down what actually makes a “good” decision, drawing from her coaching background and education at UW–Madison. She reminds us that we’re always making the best decision we can with the information we have at the time, and explains how the nervous system and personal values play a bigger role in decision making than we often realize.

Amy shares behind-the-scenes insight into a recent work decision and reflects on how she gives herself more grace than most women do when it comes to the decision making process. Together, Abby and Amy walk through real-life examples; from building a home, to managing family logistics, and highlight how two people can arrive at the same decision through very different paths.

They also explore confidence, indecision, and when it’s helpful (or not) to bring other people’s opinions into the mix. The episode wraps with a few simple, practical ways they’ve each reduced daily decision fatigue - small shifts that have made a big difference.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, second-guessed yourself, or wished decisions felt a little lighter, this episode is your reminder that you already have what you need. Trust yourself.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location

MEDICUBE: https://amzlink.to/az0zgEJC7OXMu

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

HERself is officially six years old, and we can hardly believe it. In some ways the time has flown by, and in others, it feels like every lesson, challenge, and conversation has been earned. Podcasting is not easy, and most shows don’t make it this far, which makes this milestone incredibly meaningful to both of us. This podcast has been such a special part of our lives, and we’re just getting started.

To celebrate six years, we’re recreating one of our very first episodes by revisiting the questions we answered back then and sharing how we would respond today. Over the past six years, we’ve grown in our marriages, in motherhood, and as individuals, and this episode is an honest reflection of that evolution.

We begin by revisiting the question: What is your biggest struggle in marriage? Abby shares that six years ago her answer was score-keeping, but today her biggest challenge is around apologizing. Amy reflects on how her biggest struggle used to be the constant time crunch while juggling a nursing job, multiple businesses, and motherhood to three young kids. While that season has eased, her current challenge is navigating moments when both she and Drew are low on patience.

Next, we revisit guilt in motherhood. Amy shares that her guilt once came from always feeling mentally pulled in different directions, while Abby reflects on how bedtime routines were once her hardest moment. Today, Abby’s guilt shows up during their busy nighttime family routines, as packed schedules often leave her wishing for more quality time with her kids.

We then dive into the realities of being a working mom. Both of us share how difficult it is to find boundaries between work and family, especially when so much of our work overlaps with our personal lives. The struggle to protect time, avoid burnout, and not feel like we could always be working is still very real.

We also open up about finances, reflecting on the debt we carried six years ago and the progress we’ve made since then. From there, we discuss body image and insecurities. Amy shares how she reached a place of true body confidence and developed a healthy relationship with food, while Abby reflects on navigating body dysmorphia during the early years of the podcast.

Finally, we revisit the question of our proudest moments. Amy shares how her definition has shifted toward raising kind, thoughtful kids, while Abby laughs at her former answer and reflects on how much her perspective has changed.

If we’re lucky enough, we’ll sit down and record this episode again when we’re 46. Thank you for being part of this journey with us—for growing, reflecting, and evolving alongside HERself. Here’s to the next six years.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

As the year winds down, it’s easy to jump straight into planning what’s next. But before you rush ahead, this episode of HERself is your reminder to pause, look back, and reflect on what this past year has held for you. Reflection isn’t about judgment, it’s about recognizing growth so you can move forward with clarity and excitement.

Abby and Amy kick things off by sharing a simple reflection exercise they encourage every listener to try. As millennial women who work hard and tend to be hard on themselves, they know how easy it is to overlook what’s actually going well. To help spark that awareness, they each share three things they feel proud of and are doing well right now.

Abby opens up about how much her morning routine impacts her entire day. Amy shares her growth around financial transparency with her husband, Drew. Abby also talks about the role supplements play in her health, particularly in managing her autoimmune disease. Amy shares her deep commitment to protecting her sleep, even if it means excusing herself from social situations. The conversation continues with Abby’s concept of “tomorrow prep” — thinking beyond meals to identify small things you can do today to make tomorrow smoother and less stressful.

Later in the episode, Abby and Amy reflect honestly on areas where they want to improve. Amy notices herself slipping back into the habit of rushing through breakfast, while both hosts explore their relationship with food in a candid, unplanned conversation. It’s a reminder that growth isn’t linear and self-awareness is an ongoing process.

This episode is an encouraging reminder that you can reset at any time. Reflection doesn’t mean dwelling on what didn’t go well, it means honoring what did, learning from what didn’t, and giving yourself permission to move forward with confidence.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Happy holidays HERself listeners. We know many people are busy with their friends and families this week. So we are throwing it back to one of our favorite episodes that we know is going to meet many of you with so much solidarity. Janelle Teves is one of those women who when you talk to her you instantly feel better. Not only does she know  and respect that we are juggling a lot but she reminds us that we are doing an amazing job.

Jeanelle Teves, is the Chief Commercial Officer of Bugaboo. She is also a speaker, a wife, and a mom of two kids; ages three and six. Jeanelle is crushing it in corporate America and has a stay at home partner. We cover both of these topics in our interview and we touch on confidence. Jeanelle shares how she built her own and how she fully embodies it.

We know lots of our listeners have times in their lives where they contemplate a career move. Maybe you’ve thought about leaving your job all together and being a full-time stay at home parent? Jeanelle shares how she knows when it is time to make a change. She also manages a fully remote team and knows that for moms who are working from home, it can be easy to blur the lines between professional and mom. She shares her tips on how to set some boundaries both at home and with your work place.

In Jeanelle’s family, she is the breadwinner and her husband is the full-time stay at home working parent. Jeanelle talks to us about how they came to this decision as a family and what she does to support her husband in finding time for himself outside of all the household work he puts in. 

Finally, we know that a lot of women can struggle with confidence at times. If this has been you, tune in to hear how Jeanelle is so unapologetic about her successes and the tips she has on how you yourself can grow in this area.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

Follow Jeanelle on Instagram - @jeanelleteves

Follow Jeanelle on LinkedIn 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

This week, we’re getting honest about something we know so many of you are feeling too: the mental load of the holiday season. Even as two high-functioning women in very different ways, this stretch of the year has us struggling. Between the busy season in our industry—podcasting, affiliate links, end-of-year pushes—and the nonstop holiday commitments, we’ve both been feeling behind and overwhelmed. And if you’re there too, we want you to know: you’re not alone.

We walk through the real mental load moms carry right now—coordinating gift lists, keeping track of school dress-up days, navigating volunteer asks, and trying to make everything magical on top of everyday life. So we talk about giving yourself grace, slowing down, and putting the load on paper so you can actually see what you’re carrying.

We also dive into how differently we each cope. Amy checks in with herself more intentionally this time of year, especially because being overwhelmed means little comments from others can sting more than usual. Abby talks about being a natural ruminator—and how bringing things up with safe people, sooner rather than later, can bring so much peace of mind.

Family dynamics during the holidays can get complicated, too. Amy shares the powerful reminder that she can’t control how other people experience the holiday. And if anxiety is creeping in, communicating that with the people closest to you can make all the difference. 

We also share how we balance two totally different approaches to managing the mental load. Abby swears by writing everything down. Amy has always found the idea overwhelming… but she’s giving it a try. And Abby walks through how to take that practice a step further once it’s all out of your head and on paper. A big takeaway for both of us? Choose one thing and complete it from start to finish. The more we multitask, the more scattered we feel. Slowing down and focusing on a single task has been grounding for us both.

Toward the end, we highlight some incredibly helpful tips from our friend Kate Borsato of @theperinatalcollective (linked below). This community has walked alongside us for almost six years now, and we hope today’s episode helps you feel supported, understood, and a little lighter during such a busy season.

You’re doing your best—and that’s enough.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

JONES: https://www.jonesdairyfarm.com/

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

The Perinatal Collective on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theperinatalcollective/

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We’ve had Eli Weinstein on the podcast before (episode 182), where we focused on the postpartum period. Today, we’re talking about the next phase of parenthood—one that brings its own growing pains, relationship shifts, and a whole new set of expectations.

In his new book, Eli introduces the “holy trinity” of relationships: expectations, perception, and reality. He walks us through how easy it is for these three to get misaligned. One example almost every parent can relate to: when one partner works from home, the expectation is that more will get done around the house. When it doesn’t happen, the perception becomes that the partner is lazy, when the reality is that no one ever clearly set the expectation in the first place.

If you’ve been here for a bit, you know about Amy and Drew’s weekly meetings. Amy is honest—she doesn’t always look forward to them—but they’ve drastically improved clarity around roles and tasks. If you’re trying to bring something like this into your own relationship, Eli shares one simple 15-minute daily practice that can soften resistance and rebuild connection.

We also get into a feeling many of us have had at some point: “Why does my spouse feel like another child I have to remind all the time?” Eli normalizes the frustration. Giving your partner direction—even if it seems obvious—is better than simmering in resentment later. Think of it as a reset: just like teaching a child how to walk, sometimes our partners have never been taught certain systems, and clarity is an act of kindness.

Eli also breaks down his “import and export” lists. This framework helps families intentionally remove what no longer serves them while protecting what does. And of course, gratitude comes up—Eli shares why small, frequent expressions of appreciation might be the most powerful shift you can make in your marriage.

Eli closes the conversation with a grounding reminder: every couple is navigating this same transition. You are not alone. It’s never too late to reset, reconnect, and focus on your relationship with more compassion and clarity.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

VUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself 

Listen to episode #182 - Eli Weinstein with a Male’s Perspective on Partnership After Kids and Sharing the Mental Load: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/eliweinsteinmentalload

Pre-order his new book "From I Do to We Do" AND get a free workbook: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book

Eli’s Website: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/

The Dude Therapist Podcast: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/podcast

Follow Eli on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen