Some comments linger longer than they should. A tone, a look, an offhand remark from your partner, your child, or a friend can spiral into a story in your head before you even realize it. This conversation unpacks what it really takes to not take things personally, especially in the relationships that matter most. From defensiveness and truth triggers to slowing down your reactions and separating someone else’s mood from your responsibility, we share practical mindset shifts that create more peace at home and in your friendships.

Key Topics Covered:

• The connection between defensiveness and hidden truths.
• Why pausing before reacting changes everything.
• Separating your partner’s emotions from your own sense of worth.
• The role tone plays when giving and receiving feedback.
• Helping kids regulate before expecting repair or apology.
• Teaching children awareness of how their words impact others.
• Navigating the sting of feeling like a means to an end as a parent.
• Modeling reciprocal conversations and emotional awareness at home.
• How past friendship wounds shape present reactions.
• Real life examples of working through friendship conflict without escalation.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u 

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

No one really tells you how much parenting shifts once your kids reach school age, and there are a few things we deeply wish we had known sooner. The early years are all-consuming and survival-focused, which makes forward thinking feel nearly impossible. Now on the other side of that stage, we reflect on the bigger transitions kids experience once they enter school and the areas that deserve a little more intention.

Key topics covered:

• What changes once kids enter school and why it can feel like a whole new parenting phase.
• How friendships evolve from “everyone is invited” to more complex social dynamics.
• Coaching kids through hard friendship moments, apologies, and repairing relationships.
• Why it’s important to remember your child’s experience may look different from your own.
• The impact of words and helping kids understand how their choices affect others.
• How to handle notes home from school and why the truth often lives in the middle.
• The value of volunteering at school and gaining perspective on a teacher’s day-to-day.
• Being pro teacher and why believing the teacher matters.
• Managing the overwhelm of school paperwork, sign-ups, and assignments.
• Creating systems at home so responsibilities don’t fall through the cracks.
• Teaching kids to apologize with intention, not just to avoid consequences.
• Why school-aged parenting can be challenging and incredibly fun at the same time.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We turned the conversation over to you and asked one powerful question: In what ways do you struggle with comparison? The overwhelming response was the realization that comparison shows up far more often than we think, especially around money, careers, bodies, relationships, and even our kids. We unpack why comparison feels so loud today, how much of what we see is a highlight reel, and why everyone’s starting point, values, and circumstances are completely different. From navigating career shifts and body image to friendships, marriage, and parenting, this episode is a reminder that you are not behind, broken, or doing life wrong. You are simply living your own version of it.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The sneaky ways comparison shows up, especially the thought of “What am I doing wrong and how can everyone else afford this?”
• Why social media hides financial stress, marriage struggles, and real life challenges.
• How different values and priorities shape what people choose to spend money and energy on.
• Career comparison and promotions, including Abby’s experience leaving the corporate world and redefining fulfillment.
• Why your job might not be the problem and how finding fulfillment outside of work can change everything.
• Body comparison, genetics, and why not everything is meant to come easily or naturally to everyone.
• The truth behind our friendship and why working together skews what people see.
• Comparing kids, milestones, achievements, and even siblings within the same family.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Parenting in a village isn’t anything new. It’s a necessity for many families, especially when extended family isn’t close by. In this episode, we talk candidly about what it really looks like to build and rely on a village of friends, neighbors, and other families. If you’ve never done this before, know that it can feel intimidating at first. Trusting others with your kids, your schedule, and your needs takes time and practice but it gets easier, and it’s worth it.

Key Topics Covered

• What it means to build a parenting village when family isn’t nearby.
• Why relying on others often starts out of necessity.
• How to ask for help clearly, specifically, and in a way that feels fair.
• Making drop-off birthday parties work for your family.
• When and how to incorporate paid support into your village.
• The impact of unexpected support and paying it forward.
• How building a village models healthy relationships and help-seeking for kids.
• Letting go of what you thought your village would look like and getting creative.
• Abby’s go-to coaching prompt for asking for help.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

What if the missing ingredient in your marriage, friendships, and parenting isn’t more fixing, but more fun? In this episode, we explore a powerful shift inspired by a viral quote: instead of always focusing on what’s wrong, what happens when we intentionally prioritize joy and play in our relationships?

We reflect on how fun often comes naturally in dating but slowly fades as responsibilities, exhaustion, and parenthood take over. Through our honest stories, we unpack why fun is essential, how to bring it back in small, realistic ways, and how it can transform not just your marriage, but your friendships and your experience of parenting.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why having more fun can be just as important as therapy for long-term relationships.
• How marriage dynamics shift after kids and why fun is often the first thing to disappear.
• Simple questions to help you take inventory of what actually feels fun and energizing right now.
• The difference between fun that happens away from your kids and fun you can create with them.
• Why shared experiences are key to deeper adult friendships and the power of being the one who sends the invite.
• A simple question to ask your kids to uncover when they feel most connected to you.
• Realistic, everyday ideas for adding more fun into parenting, even in busy seasons.

Fun isn’t optional. It’s often the thing that restores energy, strengthens connection, and makes this season of life feel lighter and more sustainable.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Friendship doesn’t stay the same as we move through different seasons of life. Many of us grow up with built-in friends from childhood or college, but as we move, build careers, get married, and have kids, our relationships naturally shift. In this episode, we’re not talking about casual friendships or surface-level connections. We’re diving into the deeper, dependable friendships that truly support us, especially as we near 40.

We share four key elements that define meaningful adult friendships. First, we talk about the importance of genuinely being proud of the people closest to us. True closeness often goes hand in hand with how someone makes us feel in our body and nervous system. The friends who help us feel calm, safe, and comfortable tend to be the ones who take relationships to the next level.

We also explore the value of friends who celebrate our wins. Everyone deserves people they can run to with exciting news, knowing it will be met with genuine joy. If a relationship consistently feels one-sided or competitive, it may be a sign that it’s not meant to be a deeply close friendship.

Life inevitably brings hard seasons, and we reflect on how powerful it is to have friends who show up when things get tough. We discuss how small acts, like following up when someone is going through something important, can leave a lasting impact and strengthen trust over time.

We also remind listeners that no friendship is perfect. A single comment or moment doesn’t have to define an entire relationship. When something doesn’t sit right, honest conversations can create deeper understanding and connection, especially when the friendship is built on mutual respect.

Finally, we talk about staying open to new friendships. You may not have met your future best friend yet. So many people are looking for meaningful connection, but it often takes courage, vulnerability, and someone willing to take the first step to make it happen.

Molly Millwood’s Book: https://amzlink.to/az0iWvIxqfuUD 

Listen to HERself episode #10 with Molly Millwood: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/10-herself-expert-molly-millwood-on-motherhood-marriage-and-the-modern-dilemma 

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Decision making doesn’t get easier as life gets fuller and for many women, the constant stream of choices can feel exhausting. In this episode we unpack what decision fatigue really looks like, how it shows up in work and family life, and why trusting yourself is often the most important part of the process.

Abby kicks things off by breaking down what actually makes a “good” decision, drawing from her coaching background and education at UW–Madison. She reminds us that we’re always making the best decision we can with the information we have at the time, and explains how the nervous system and personal values play a bigger role in decision making than we often realize.

Amy shares behind-the-scenes insight into a recent work decision and reflects on how she gives herself more grace than most women do when it comes to the decision making process. Together, Abby and Amy walk through real-life examples; from building a home, to managing family logistics, and highlight how two people can arrive at the same decision through very different paths.

They also explore confidence, indecision, and when it’s helpful (or not) to bring other people’s opinions into the mix. The episode wraps with a few simple, practical ways they’ve each reduced daily decision fatigue - small shifts that have made a big difference.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, second-guessed yourself, or wished decisions felt a little lighter, this episode is your reminder that you already have what you need. Trust yourself.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location

MEDICUBE: https://amzlink.to/az0zgEJC7OXMu

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

HERself is officially six years old, and we can hardly believe it. In some ways the time has flown by, and in others, it feels like every lesson, challenge, and conversation has been earned. Podcasting is not easy, and most shows don’t make it this far, which makes this milestone incredibly meaningful to both of us. This podcast has been such a special part of our lives, and we’re just getting started.

To celebrate six years, we’re recreating one of our very first episodes by revisiting the questions we answered back then and sharing how we would respond today. Over the past six years, we’ve grown in our marriages, in motherhood, and as individuals, and this episode is an honest reflection of that evolution.

We begin by revisiting the question: What is your biggest struggle in marriage? Abby shares that six years ago her answer was score-keeping, but today her biggest challenge is around apologizing. Amy reflects on how her biggest struggle used to be the constant time crunch while juggling a nursing job, multiple businesses, and motherhood to three young kids. While that season has eased, her current challenge is navigating moments when both she and Drew are low on patience.

Next, we revisit guilt in motherhood. Amy shares that her guilt once came from always feeling mentally pulled in different directions, while Abby reflects on how bedtime routines were once her hardest moment. Today, Abby’s guilt shows up during their busy nighttime family routines, as packed schedules often leave her wishing for more quality time with her kids.

We then dive into the realities of being a working mom. Both of us share how difficult it is to find boundaries between work and family, especially when so much of our work overlaps with our personal lives. The struggle to protect time, avoid burnout, and not feel like we could always be working is still very real.

We also open up about finances, reflecting on the debt we carried six years ago and the progress we’ve made since then. From there, we discuss body image and insecurities. Amy shares how she reached a place of true body confidence and developed a healthy relationship with food, while Abby reflects on navigating body dysmorphia during the early years of the podcast.

Finally, we revisit the question of our proudest moments. Amy shares how her definition has shifted toward raising kind, thoughtful kids, while Abby laughs at her former answer and reflects on how much her perspective has changed.

If we’re lucky enough, we’ll sit down and record this episode again when we’re 46. Thank you for being part of this journey with us—for growing, reflecting, and evolving alongside HERself. Here’s to the next six years.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

As the year winds down, it’s easy to jump straight into planning what’s next. But before you rush ahead, this episode of HERself is your reminder to pause, look back, and reflect on what this past year has held for you. Reflection isn’t about judgment, it’s about recognizing growth so you can move forward with clarity and excitement.

Abby and Amy kick things off by sharing a simple reflection exercise they encourage every listener to try. As millennial women who work hard and tend to be hard on themselves, they know how easy it is to overlook what’s actually going well. To help spark that awareness, they each share three things they feel proud of and are doing well right now.

Abby opens up about how much her morning routine impacts her entire day. Amy shares her growth around financial transparency with her husband, Drew. Abby also talks about the role supplements play in her health, particularly in managing her autoimmune disease. Amy shares her deep commitment to protecting her sleep, even if it means excusing herself from social situations. The conversation continues with Abby’s concept of “tomorrow prep” — thinking beyond meals to identify small things you can do today to make tomorrow smoother and less stressful.

Later in the episode, Abby and Amy reflect honestly on areas where they want to improve. Amy notices herself slipping back into the habit of rushing through breakfast, while both hosts explore their relationship with food in a candid, unplanned conversation. It’s a reminder that growth isn’t linear and self-awareness is an ongoing process.

This episode is an encouraging reminder that you can reset at any time. Reflection doesn’t mean dwelling on what didn’t go well, it means honoring what did, learning from what didn’t, and giving yourself permission to move forward with confidence.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Happy holidays HERself listeners. We know many people are busy with their friends and families this week. So we are throwing it back to one of our favorite episodes that we know is going to meet many of you with so much solidarity. Janelle Teves is one of those women who when you talk to her you instantly feel better. Not only does she know  and respect that we are juggling a lot but she reminds us that we are doing an amazing job.

Jeanelle Teves, is the Chief Commercial Officer of Bugaboo. She is also a speaker, a wife, and a mom of two kids; ages three and six. Jeanelle is crushing it in corporate America and has a stay at home partner. We cover both of these topics in our interview and we touch on confidence. Jeanelle shares how she built her own and how she fully embodies it.

We know lots of our listeners have times in their lives where they contemplate a career move. Maybe you’ve thought about leaving your job all together and being a full-time stay at home parent? Jeanelle shares how she knows when it is time to make a change. She also manages a fully remote team and knows that for moms who are working from home, it can be easy to blur the lines between professional and mom. She shares her tips on how to set some boundaries both at home and with your work place.

In Jeanelle’s family, she is the breadwinner and her husband is the full-time stay at home working parent. Jeanelle talks to us about how they came to this decision as a family and what she does to support her husband in finding time for himself outside of all the household work he puts in. 

Finally, we know that a lot of women can struggle with confidence at times. If this has been you, tune in to hear how Jeanelle is so unapologetic about her successes and the tips she has on how you yourself can grow in this area.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

Follow Jeanelle on Instagram - @jeanelleteves

Follow Jeanelle on LinkedIn 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.