It Can’t Be That Bad

Take my hand if you want to be entertained Baddies... Arnold is back, baby and starring in Taran Killam’s directorial debut. Written, directed, and second billed Taran Killam brings in fellow SNL Alumni, Bobby Moynihan, Cobie Smulders, Hannah Simone, and Ryan Gaul. Alejandro needs help with where he got a mug. Christian teaches Alejandro how to memorize his birthday based on knowing Christian’s favorite number. And Christian looks on the dark web for the price of what a hit man costs. Alejandro makes a joke you’ll need to see on our YouTube page to understand. And honestly Baddies, this movie has all the best things a movie should have: father-daughter assassin relationships, future prosthetic technology, twists, turns, guns, bombs, poison, and of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger speaking German.

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Your mission, Baddies, should you choose to accept it, is to sit through Alejandro’s hour long nerd rant about James Bond. After almost a year, Alejandro has succeeded in getting Christian to watch a Bond Film. Quantum of Solace (2008) is Daniel Craig’s second outing as James Bond and he’s joined by Dame Judi Dench (not as a cat [see Episode 41 Cats & Taylor Swift Kitty Titties]), Jeffery Wright, David Harbour, and Rory Kinnear. The Boys figure out how you can fit two films into your day. Christian has zero reference points and is thrust into a sequel to a film he’s never seen. Alejandro shows Christian a few Easter eggs peppered into this film, but it all means close to nothing to Christian. Alejandro explains how society influences Bond films and how, once you go Bond, you can never wear a tuxedo again.

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Open your eyes and open your hearts because we’re going to a wedding. Literally, Right Before Aaron (2017) is a real look at what would happen if you went to an ex’s wedding. LRBA stars Justin Long, Cobie Smulders, Ryan Hansen, and has cameos by John Cho, and Luis Guzman. Christian loses it when Alejandro mistimes his bites. Alejandro learns about the similarities he shares with Justin Long and Christian gets off the best insult of his career. They also talk about how it feels when an ex dates someone who is better than themselves.  Initially Christian doesn’t want to spoil the end for you Baddies, but then succumbs to Alejandro’s whims and they spoil it... so watch the film before listening if you want to know who the killer is.

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The BoiZ tackle, stylishly action-packed Guns Akimbo (2019) starring Daniel Radcliffe, Samara Weaving, Natasha Liu Bordizzo, Ned Dennehy, and Rhys Darby. Alejandro almost sets Christian's house on fire and summons Metallica into the living room. Christian microwaves ramen without water and gets New Zealand and America mixed up. Alejandro throws a fit about the movie's title and the boys tell the director to stop being so sensitive. Adopt, don't shop. 

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Let’s get weird Baddies. Christian and Alejandro got it going in the late night for you. So pack a bowl of the indo-kush and spark it as we go through the stoner classic, Grandma’s Boy (2006). Starring Allen Covert, Doris Roberts, Linda Cardellini, Nick Swardson, and Peter Dante as the world's greatest pot dealer. Otis joined us for this episode but he sleeps/dies during the episode. Christian doesn’t know what cocaine does. Alejandro makes his request for his final meal on Death Row. Christian wishes there was more Rob Schneider and Alejandro is satisfied with the amount of Rob Schneider. Alejandro flexes his Tom Hanks knowledge, and Christian flexes his Jonah Hill knowledge. Christian continues Alejandro’s quest to understand the plight of the fat man. The boys are goofy in this one and it’s almost like we’re all sitting on Dante’s couch laughing it up.

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The wait is over Baddies, we did it, it’s over, we watched the final film, we watched Can’t Hardly Wait (1998), starring Jennifer Love Hewitt, Seth Green, Ethan Embry, Jamie Pressly, and a bunch of other actors who didn’t make it out of the 90’s. Alejandro blames his future murders on CTE, and proves Christian has never cheated in his relationship. Christian attempts to create a coherent synopsis, and reveals the ridiculousness of the extras’ names. And the Boys reminisce on early drinking mistakes involving Christian in a fight and Alejandro drinking vodka... weird isn’t it... should be the other way around... Anyways, be safe Baddies, sign petitions, stand up, be heard, and vote.

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Hey You Guyyyyysssssss! It’s that time of year again when the Boys nerd out over comic book movies. X-Men Origins: Wolverine stars Huge Ackman, Liev Schreiber, Lynn Collins, Ryan Reynolds, and Kevin Durand (not Kevin Durant of The Brooklyn Nets). Alejandro saw this film originally in his brothers room three months before the premiere , thank you internet leaks. Christian loves the eyebrows of the leading lady and the commitment women make to the up keep of eyebrows. Alejandro forces us all to listen to his version of this movie. We all get a lesson in Zoology and the differences in Wolves and Wolverines. Liev Schreiber scares grown men, it’s not just Alejandro.

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Get ready to be jealous of all the fun the Boys have on this episode. Envy stars Ben Stiller Rachel Weisz, and Jack Black, and if you think that’s enough... IT’S NOT! Christopher Walken is also in this movie. Hope you like double entendres cause The Boys spend a fair amount of time on it. Christian kink-shames Alejandro, and in return Alejandro tells the Baddies about Christian’s toys. Try and guess Alejandro’s handle on Pornhub.com, which he has just because he likes to comment on the videos. A movie that can get extremely silly, toes a line with subtle humor coming from extreme characters. Alejandro doesn’t trust horses and Christian thinks Alejandro see ridiculous things as (fools)goldmines. We learn that when you create a chemical that makes your pets die, Jack Black and Ben Stillers response involves Flan. Oh yeah... spoilers or whatever... or not... I mean this movie is more than 15 years old so it’s not really a spoiler. If you are offering $50,000 for a horse that goes missing, would you also offer $50,000 for your best human friend that goes missing or does your human friend deserve a bigger reward, discuss in 500 words or less due next week Friday.

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It’s a true “beer-fest” up in the studio today Baddies. Pop open that iconic green bottle sit back and watch this Dutch-British film. With the intimacy and feel of an indie/college film it’s starring Sir Anthony Hopkins, Jim Sturgess, Sam Worthington and Jemima West. The title is a bit of a spoiler because the main characters are... kidnapping the owner of the Heineken Brewing Company. Alejandro creates a prayer from booze. Christian and Alejandro have major problems with saying this film is “based on a true story” and yet the film didn’t talk about any of the cool things that happened in real life. Christian is educated about roots of the slur “Gyp”.  And Alejandro is politely robbed at the gas station.

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One of Netflix’s top ten film Extraction (2020) stars Chris Hemsworth, Sam Hargrave, and Randeep Hooda in the the intense action film we finally get to see Thor act like John Wick. Alejandro worries when Christian’s mother over hears the episodes. Both the Boys love the film and cant help his gush over the oners and action sequines that make this a watch of the quarantine.  This movie is dependent on the director’s actions to save the hero but it’s still good. The Boys discuss the diminishing of the American attention span and also the influences of Jason Bourne and Quentin Tarantino.  Alejandro believes that this is a water mark in action films and Directorial direction. Christian loves throat slashing as it is “ascetically” pleasing according to him. Alejandro tried to cover up his questionable comments with socks but gets a second try... and a third. Christian thinks a simple life is a happy life and Alejandro thinks crying in a Lamborghini is better than crying on a bike. Alejandro practices Look-see-Do or so he says..

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Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts

 

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Or listen to us on Spotify

 

https://open.spotify.com/show/7FsYf47r7B8fyxgG9elgt9?si=o4k6CKcKS96N6k2t-_WBVw