Oh boy, what a week: A beach day for the ages! A phone call from Jax! A metal detector storm off unlike any we've ever seen! Let's discuss!

Email? [email protected]

Jason confronting Danny on his drinking and Kristen "Mama Bear" Doute dropping bombs in retaliation! Jax on the loose from rehab! Scheana and Lala soft launching their new venture (appearing on The Valley)! All this and more on this week's ep!

Emails? We love 'em! [email protected]

The Valley gods have smiled upon us: the gang is back from Santa Barbara and Scheana Shay is back on our screens! Meanwhile, Kristen has a new rental, Jesse is back with his marriage coach, and Nia is tasked with even more emotional labor. Whew!

Emails? [email protected]

The gang goes wine tasting while Jax texts from rehab! Michelle and Jesse attempt respectful communication while deeply inebriated! Dark Side Danny is back (HE WORE SHOES IN THE BED)! All this and more!

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@ittakesavalleyvillage

The gang ventures to a place that MIGHT be better than the Valley: Santa Barbara, baby! The fertility crystals are out, Jax is rage texting from rehab, and Jesse's pantaloons are on full display. This is California living!

Thoughts? Feelings? Information about said pantaloons and where to find them? Email us at [email protected]!

Instagram too! @ittakesavalleyvillage

Jax is off to rehab so you know what that means: it's time to head to Dave and Buster's! This week we get more info about the cursed Boys' Chat, witness Janet's coworker birthday, and most importantly, learn about the healing powers of white honey.

Email is still up and running! [email protected]

(as is our instagram @ittakesavalleyvillage)

WOOF. What a week! First, the Pope dies, then this episode happens.

Hurricane Jax has touched down in the Cauchi Homestead and we must experience it. Meanwhile, The Guy From Baywatch is the new Quentin Tarantino and The Wickham Man gives us a glimpse of his nest and it DELIVERS.

Thoughts? Feelings? Send us an email! [email protected]

Instagram: @ittakesavalleyvillage

Valley citizens, friends of the pod, patrons of Jax's Studio City, lend me your ears! Season 2 has premiered and we're right where we need to be! We bask in the glory of Jax's merch line making a rehab cameo, watch Kristen rise from the ashes yet again, and make bold claims about Luke's origin story (old timey ghost).

We still have an email! [email protected]

Email too intense? We get it! Here's our Instagram: @ittakesavalleyvillage

Ahoy, mateys! Our fave housewives are setting sail! The Oceanside winds bring Sutton a potential new suitor, Kathy a new member of the help to criticize, and the reveal that Kyle and PK actually text all the time. We also see Dorit with no makeup and it changes us. Do it up!

Forgive me on the title, there was just too much good stuff in this episode to choose from/I am tired. Just when we thought they couldn't give us more, we meet CAROL, Kathy Hilton's brand manager. Our lives are complete and yet undone all at once. Suitcase delivery! Top Gun House! Beach games!