We have returned, and in the absence of our beloved Valley crew, we ventured all the way back to 2003 to find the Jax and Brittany of the early aughts. That's right, we're recapping Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica! Join us as we discuss how Newlyweds is basically The Valley, relive the magic of flip phones, and recount Langan's high school theater history (unrelated but still good to know).

We face our first week without The Valley to anchor us and stare into the void that is the future. We discuss potential new shows to cover and new formats to explore. Do we remain in the Bravoverse? Do we become NPR? What is Mosaic hiding??? All in a day's pod!

The promised part two of our finale episode! We're still processing whatever we experienced at Jax's but we get it together enough to recap The Valley finale in all its glory. The soft opening of Jax's Studio City, tone policing while pregnant, Kristen's Air Sculpt adventure, etc. Then we bathe in the aftermath of two titanic divorces and contemplate the future of the show.

Well well well. The finale is finally here. We promised a surprise and here it is: a two parter! Part one - we're reporting live(ish) from the world famous Jax's Studio City. You read that right! Boots on the ground, baby! Listen as we document our entire epic journey, from the anxious planning stages to the dissecting of our mental state afterward.

Part two will go live tomorrow with our episode recap, so stay tuned!

WE FINALLY HAVE AN INSTAGRAM: @ittakesavalleyvillage

It's part 2 of definitely NOT the finale episode, and we're still trapped in Big Bear with the gang! Janet's baby shower, the boys' chaotic fishing trip, and a peak behind the iron curtain that is Nia and Danny's relationship? They are not slowing down! We're presented with everyone's fantasies only to discover our new one: gentlemen's lunch.

Thoughts? Feelings? Yes please! [email protected]

It's our podcast and we'll vocal fry if we want to! Langan and Frankie address their first bad review and accept its message with love and light while another cherished listener email spreads the news: Zach is getting booked!

Meanwhile, in Big Bear Lake, everyone's marriages are on thin ice. The men are crying, the women are cooking, Brittany is vomiting, and Zach is posting ominous Instagram stories. Another full moon for the Valley crew!

Gentle reminder that we have an email and eagerly await your words of encouragement: [email protected]

The season's penultimate episode finds us in the Aspen of San Bernardino, Big Bear! In addition to the babymoon of a lifetime (NOT a friends trip!!!), we learn more about Jesse's time away at overnight camp, discover Kristen and Luke have never had a conversation, and witness Brittany barf on the side of the road. And that's not all! We have been gifted with yet ANOTHER Cameo - and this one puts Zack's to shame!

what's a podcaster gotta do to get an email? let us know at [email protected]

This one's huge, Valley gang! We're joined by our east coast correspondent and renowned Bravo scholar, Lisa Kleinman, to tell the tale of meeting Jax and Brittany at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. We discuss the hibachi dinner heard 'round the world, James Mae 2.0, and plant-based therapy retreats. OH, AND! A very special Cameo from someone on the cast encourages us to keep doing the pod.

Email us! We need it to survive! [email protected]

Just when we think we're out, the Mondrian pulls us back in. It's Date Night!

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Langan caught up to Scandoval! Golf carts are a death trap! The Zach AI is close but needs more work!

Finally, the crew ends up back at the Chamber of Secrets (the Mondrian Hotel) to celebrate Jax's hair loss product (name pending), only to end up screaming at each other in a hallway (beautiful).

Thoughts? Observations? Praise? We now have an email! [email protected]