Every DNA Surprise is unique—the who, what, when, and why surrounding an NPE vary from person to person. Still, after nearly 100 interviews, I’ve noticed consistent themes in these stories. One of those themes is a complicated mother-child relationship. 

When Jennifer took her DNA test, she had no idea that her family tree would change forever. As it turns out, both her mother and grandmother had relationships with the same man, making Jennifer’s aunts also her sisters, and her cousins also her nieces and nephews. To add some clarity here, this man is not Jennifer’s grandfather - he is a man that her grandmother had an affair with, resulting in two of her aunts. She discusses how she’s faced the shame and stigma of this complicated story, and how she’s navigated her relationship with her mother.

Jennifer and I spend quite a bit of time talking about the mother-daughter dynamic, and how she was able to radically accept their relationship for what it is - not what she wants it to be. If you’re currently struggling with this part of your story, I hope this conversation helps you.

Thank you to Jennifer for so openly sharing her feelings on this, as well as her story.

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