JOJO HAS COVID AND WE CELEBRATE OUR BALLS OFF IN THE NAME OF SANTA!

BETTY WHITE IS OLD, SCHOOL BUS ACCIDENTS, MR. BIG IS SCREWED, AND SPRINGSTEEN MADE BANK.

SPIDERMAN MULT-VERSE IS GONNA BE CRAZY AND WE WANT SEX SCENES, PEOPLE AT OUR WORK CAN'T PARK, WHAT HAVE YOU USED FOR A TOWEL, EVERYONE LOVES HARRY STYLES

WAR HISTORY IS BAD ASS, ILLEGALS LOVE DELAWARE, TOM CRUISE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD GUY IF YOU IGNORE SOME RUMORS, AND PASSWORDS SUCKS

SANTA AIN'T WELCOME HERE, DON MCLEAN MUST PLAY AMERICAN PIE 4 TIMES A SHOW, STRIPPER MONEY ETIQUETTE, AND TINS OF POPCORN SUCK

DRIVE THRU NIGHTMARES, CHIC-FILA IS AWESOME, BILLY CORGAN LOVE WRESTLING, AND CORRECTIONAL FLUID

DOING THE WEED, TRAVIS SCOTT DON'T GIVE A F...., REAL ESTATE AGENTS ARE ANGRY, AND SCOTTY HAS SMALL SHOES

PLASMA MEANS CASH, SOME PEOPLE DON'T RESPECT THE ELF, BAD BURGERS ARE BAD, AND MEMES HURT

TED NUGENT IS AWESOME, TECHNOLOGY MAKES SCOTTY CRY, JOJO LIKES TO FAT SHAME, AND PEOPLE WHO LEAVE THEIR CARS UNATTENDED AT WAWA GAS PUMPS TO SHOP ARE  FILTH OF THE EARTH

ANIMALS ACTING LIKE HUMANS IS HILARIOUS, TUTORING WILL MAKE YOU GO BROKE, WOKE CHICKS HATE JOJO AND SCOTTY, AND JOYRIDING FUN