To be in the present moment we need to accept what is. Not what we want the situation to be or how we would prefer to feel, but what is ACTUALLY going on right now. That’s very hard to do when attached to someone because we tend to live in a fantasy where things are the way we want them to be, and we act from that place, instead of how we actually feel according to reality. Non-acceptance keeps us stuck because we’re focused on the perceived problem (usually created by our thoughts) about the other person rather than the solution. Then we put ourselves down when we can’t move past it, which pushes us even further away from acceptance. It’s exhausting when what we want and what we have are two different things, but through accepting reality, we’re able to let go and focus on creating more of what we say we want.

What is an example of non-acceptance? Attaching to the idea that the person you’re with is a match because there are some really amazing things, even though red flags to the contrary abound. We avoid reality because we want to avoid the truth and all the feelings associated (disappointment, abandonment, loneliness, judgment, etc.). When we DO accept and allow those uncomfortable emotions, it enables us to move through it rather than staying stuck in denial. Fantasizing and wanting more where there clearly is no more keeps us stuck, while allowing us to dabble in reality. If things are ever going to change, it must begin with acceptance.